Post # 16
Would you be able to pick up the dresses and just drop them off? Then you can talk with each of your friends in person. You could always just say it’s for your own peice of mind or that you kept getting reminders from the store to pick them up and it got annoying.
Otherwise I don’t think there’s much else you can do. I would try not to worry — bridesmaids tend to know there are going to be a ton of pictures of them, so they generally want to look nice.
Post # 17
I would be inclined to go and pick up the dresses and drop them off to the bridesmaids (not that you should have to!) and then it’s up to them if they fit or not. Bring some pins and just go with the flow. I know a BRIDE whos dress didn’t come in until 48 hours before the wedding, things have a way of working out. And like a PP said, if 3 bridesmaids look shit, they can stand behind the nicely dressed bridesmaids on the day. I don’t get why they would run the risk of standing around in a badly fitted dress, but that’s just me. Good luck with it all!
Post # 18
I was one of nine bridesmaids in a wedding last year, and was the only one to order my dress on time. By the time they got around to it, the style of dress had been discontinued!
Anyway, we picked another dress, the store let me change it for free, and I even got a little bit of money back. But they also procrastinated when it came time to pick up the dresses and have them altered. We got our nails done a couple days before the wedding and one of them said she still didn’t have it altered yet! She ended up having to basically beg a seamstress to do it for a rush charge. The bride was frustrated and basically gave up, but the bridesmaid showed up with an altered dress… I guess if they have to pay crazy amounts that’s their choice!
Post # 19
something you could say:
“hi girls! I am starting to feel a little last-minute stress, and I would love to know that at least my gorgeous bridesmaids are ready to go! Could anyone who still needs to get their dress let me know when they might be able to pick it up? We are getting down to the wire for alterations.”
it will be a nice reminder that the wedding day is creeping up, and will also give them the opprunity to feel helpful by getting this out of the way 🙂 good luck!!
Post # 20
Thanks guys. We are now officially 2 weeks out from the wedding. They still do not have dresses and have not made mention of shoes, jewelry, etc. They waited less than 24 hours out to ask what our bachelorette party plans were, then they drove separate & skipped our entire party except for dinner, to which they sat at the table on their phones & showing each other things on their phones. We had a LONG conversation before the night of the party in which I made a comment to one of the girls on Friday telling her that I felt hurt, and that she and the other bridesmaid were uninterested in participating and it feels as if I had to force them to even give us a response as far as the party goes (we needed to know because of hotel reservations– they flaked on us) and that I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time as far as driving to the rehearsal & wedding (it is about an hour away) and having to pick up their dresses (dresses are here in town). I said that if it is too much for them to please speak up.
Her response was that she was getting her dress but she has been really busy. This just does not fly well with me, as I have seen her out and about shopping and their “attendance” to my bachelorette party (they had to drive right past the bridal shop to get to our party) no apology, no time frame that she could have them picked up, nothing.
I don’t want to burn bridges and I would like to think that when we see each other we could still stop & talk. But these girls don’t want to do this, I feel like they are making it very obvious. I think it’s just time to be done. I’m hurt and frustrated and dont want to feel this way every time I look back on my day.
Post # 21
octoberbride151: I have 10 girls- i feel the stress. But- here is what Iw ould do. Just write a nice group text message to the whole group- even those that did pick them up. And email the same exact message to everyone as well – this way no excuses. Just be something like – hey guys, so its 3 weeks to the big day, im so excited. I know some of you havent picked up your dresses yet, but please do so before the end of this week at the latest as I spoke to several of the other girls and some seamstreses and everyone said that 2 weeks is really the absolute least amount of time they would need to alter a dress. I am so excited to see all of you on my big day and I really appreciate your support. ” and then if they still dont- they just dont care! period. They dont need to be bridesmaids. Dont stress and just look at it as a learning experience- you now know what kind of people you are dealing with. If they dont pick up within next week or so – just tell them that although you were looking forward to seeing them as part of your bridal party, you feel that their complete disregard for you as the bride and for their dresses shows they are not interested and you would still love to see them as guests at the wedding.
Post # 22
So sorry you are going through this! Bridesmaids shouldn’t cause more stress on you! I understand what you are going through! My maid of honor has been wonderful and supportive, but my two bridesmaids have not been there for me all at. They have no interest in the wedding. They didn’t attend the bachelorette party. I had to call and text them several times to pick up their dress. I paid for their dresses. They just had to pay for the alterations. One of them complained how expensive alterations are and asked if I knew of a cheaper place.
Post # 23
kikicabo: Wow!! That is crazy. It confuses me so bad! I mean, when these ladies (mine, yours & everyone elses!) agreed to be bridesmaids, they knew that it would mean having to get a dress & the possibility of having them altered, right?! These girls paid what the store required them to pay (which was half the total price) and then my mother called and paid off the remaining half. Never once even a thank you out of them, and it took them so long to go get fitted that my mother had to call the store again and add expedited shipping.
I’m so torn between asking them to just be a guest or letting them be a bridesmaid still. My fear now is that they will use my wedding as a free party. Open bar, photo booth, and a dj.