(Closed) Special Needs Ring Bearer Please Help

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Will you be upset if he loses focus, or cannot do it?  If you will be upset, I think you should plan differently.  If you don’t care either way, I think it’d be fine.

Post # 4
46325 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you google two ringbearers, you will see that this has been done.

You know best about how your son will handle the situation. You didnt say how old he is, but even if he completely freezes or gets upset, it wont be the first wedding where this has happened. You are the only one who can make the right decision for your son.


Post # 5
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I don’t see anything wrong with it– I have 2 ring bearers & 2 flower girls lined up for my wedding, and it’s for a similar reason, one of the boys has down symdrom and couldn’t do it alone, but I want him involved, so my nephew, is going to walk with him. With his dad at the front to encourage him to walk that direction.  And one of my flower girls is over the moon at being asked, but is terrified to walk up the aisle, so we don’t even know if she’ll make it or not.  But if any of them throw a tantrum, or get off course, that’s OK! That’s part of what makes those memories special. 

Post # 7
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I thiink its a sweet idea.  It sounds like you’ve planned it out and are ok if theres some tears.  I would go for it and even if it doesn’t go perfectly, it will probably be one of those memories you talk about for years.  

Post # 10
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Even if he wasn’t the ring bearer, the potential to throw a tantrum would still be there – and that goes for any child under a certain age, let alone one with special needs.  The bottom line is that this is your wedding, and you should do what you want.  If you want your son involved in your ceremony, and you think having his cousin along to help him out, then go for it.

Post # 11
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I would definitely include your son – the wedding is about the creation of your family, of which he is a huge part, and not about having the perfect tableau to get pictures for a magazine spread or to win the Martha Stewart seal of approval. If this is what you and your Fiance wantto do, and if your son is okay with it, those are the important factors that should weigh in to the decision.

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