(Closed) "Special time" doesn't feel like kittens, rainbows and sunshine

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@littleacorn:  ((((HUGS)))) I feel ya. Just gotta remember that after the cert’s are done and the books are down, it’ll be all about you two again πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@littleacorn:  oh I don’t doubt that it sucks. You wanna be lurrrvvved! He just cant right now. But he will soon πŸ™‚ soon you’ll be married and you will have the rest of your lives to be snuggle birds.

Post # 6
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

*hugs*   

 

Its not all sunshine, kittens and rainbows for the rest of us either, trust me.  This has not been “OMGBEST.TIME.OF.MY.LIFE.EVER.” LOL     I think people expect the engagement period to be something out of a fairytale, when instead it is just the continuation of real life…except with the added pressures of planning a wedding and dealing with preparing for an impending marriage!   

 

I know its hard right now, but I think the best thing you can do is just to support your Fiance through his testing/studying, and reap the rewards of it when he is done!  I doubt he wants to be doing these exams so close to his wedding either, but you guys will have more “together” time in the future when you are married!!  

Post # 8
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Yeah no. I am ready to be done with this wedding! I’ve found planning to be a strange ride that I don’t really ever want to do again. Planning has been coupled with the stress of knowing that Fiance will be switching jobs right after the wedding. He is currently seriously overworked and stressed, and I am stressing about wedding stuff lol. It’s not all kittens and butterflies for brides to be. You just really have to make time for each other. Even 10 minutes a day just to recap, snuggle, and reconnect. It makes a huge difference.

Post # 9
Member
7738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@littleacorn:  Who said the engagement time was special time? The wedding is special time. The honeymoon is special time. The marriage is wedded bliss (well most of the time haha). But the engagement? No, that’s the preparation time. And it IS busy. I guess there’s a couple of days of special time for pre-wedding parties, but that’s it. Also, it’s very common to get married just when one of you is finishing studying. But it looks to me like he’s got 5 weeks after his test for wedding stuff.

And I know you weren’t really complaining, but lots of us get much more mundane proposals than you did – at least your fiance waited until sunset and got down on one knee!

Post # 10
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I just have to say, that when I read this topic title, I thought you were talking about bedroom “special time” πŸ˜‰ – hahahaha! 

Post # 11
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

@littleacorn:  Been there with the studying! I hardly get any time with my Fiance and it’s been that way the majority of our relationship. Since the beginning of April, we’ve not had a single weekend together and for the past 2 weeks he’s been working late, too.

Your Fiance sounds focussed and dedicated to his work, which is a great thing!

We live in an age where it’s so easy to compare ourselves to other people. How many girls here youtube proposal videos? People only show the world positive things because they want the world to think they have the best life ever, when in reality, they’re just like everyone else.

If you search ‘disappointing proposals’ on this site, you’ll find a bunch! Some that will make you feel incredibly lucky for your sunset on-one-knee proposal! But most of all, you’ll see these women unite and say “it’s not the way he asked, it’s that he asked at all”.

Good luck on your marriage, sweetie. It’ll all work out well in the end Smile

Post # 12
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

@Everdeen:  LOL so did I and was thinking “hmmmm… never known it to feel like kittens!”

Post # 13
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Miss Jackrabbit:  Haha, it was the kitten part which really perplexed me until I realised what the topic was actually about.

 

OP, when my SO is trying to study I start to feel a bit “underfoot” or “annoying” and a bit useless. If you are feeling this way too, perhaps put together a study pack? New highlighters and post its (if your Fiance likes that kind of thing), study snacks, eye drops, energy drinks, pain meds (for any headaches), and perhaps a coupon for a stress relieving BJ? 

It might help you to feel a bit less useless (if you are feeling that way) and also let him know that you care about him, are thinking of him, want to support him in this and that you know it’s important.

Also, if you do need to discuss something wedding with him, perhaps have it all written in a handy information sheet and summarised? This will make it faster than shifting through multiple print outs from websites etc. I know my SO would appreciate this when he’s really busy.

 

Post # 14
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 

@littleacorn: aw! Don’t let it get to you!  Remember…

 

So true! Trust me, when you let go of comparing your situation to others you will be much happier.  

There will ALWAYS be someone having a better time, bigger house, fancier dress, more romantic partner, cooler car…focus on your life and think of the good things…you’re getting married, that’s wonderful!  (((Hugs)))

oh and also, those people with those “perfect lives”… Yeah they aren’t perfect!

Post # 16
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@sehrler:  wow i needed that message myself! awesome thanks for sharing the quote and your thoughts

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