(Closed) "Special treatment" by supervisors, because I work really hard. Coworkers angry.

posted 4 years ago in Career
Post # 2
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I honestly don’t think there’s much for you to do besides continuing to do your job well and being polite/friendly to coworkers. Just because 2 people went to your boss to make an untrue complaint doesn’t mean everyone there shares thier feelings. You can’t have everyone like you, that’s just the way the world works. 

Post # 3
9940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s terrible.  Your co-workers basically stabbed you in the back, possibly due to jealousy or feeling threatened by your work ethic.  I would stop with the bringing baked goods and helping to beef up their resumes because your niceness isn’t working. 

I hate to say this, but sometimes some men don’t view women with respect unless the woman has more of a tough edge and is more business-like in her behavior.  If they aren’t contributing equally to the office bake sale I wouldn’t continue that because they might be misinterpreting your good intentions.

You keep doing your work well as you’ve been doing.  Continue the positive relationship with your superiors, who are the ones who really count.  It sucks that one of your peers evidently tried to make you look bad to your boss.  You deserve better.  Honestly, that would make me so angry that I would probably be giving everyone the cold shoulder until I learned who the culprit was.  It’s completely unfair for you to be subjected to that.  I’m glad to hear your boss was understanding and on your side about this.

If you become their supervisor it will be all to the better that you remain a little distant and professional, anyway.  Let them earn back your trust and your respect, because they blew it.  I hope you do become their supervisor, lol.   Make ’em squirm.   😉

Post # 4
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I had this happen to me. I was promoted over people who had been there longer than me. They were very outwardly bitter, but you have to think of it from their point of view and keep it professional. Your manager should be doing a better job of using positive reinforcement to get them to push themselves. If you want them to treat you a little nicer, go to them for help with certain things or ask for their opinions. It’ll make them feel better and improve your relationship with them. (It doesn’t even have to be sincere on your end.)

Post # 5
4843 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t try to win over assholes. It’s a waste of time. Continue doing what you’re doing.luckily your manager recognizes what they’re doing. I had people throw me under the bus and the manager did not see what they were doing. Just keep doing your job as you are. Don’t let the toads slow you down or make you feel like you’re doing something wrong for working hard.

Post # 6
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Keep up what you’re doing and CYA. Save every email and if you can, save those thank yous. Build your resume/portfolio. Casual grouching can turn into formal complaints, and people can get ugly when there could be raises/money involved. Just take care of yourself and hopefully the rest falls into place and they get over it.

Post # 7
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Maybe ask your bosses to stop putting the thank-yous on a wall and just thank you in person? It sounds like the only thing that does is breed resentment, especially if these letters are always for you but no one else. I remember this sort of thing with my grades in school and it was so. very. awkward. to be singled out, even if it was for praise.

Other than that, don’t let someone’s jealousy bother you and keep going a great job and taking pride in your accomplishments! Just because a couple of people complained, doesn’t mean others feel the same way.

Post # 8
626 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
annonabee17 :  You don’t sound braggy, you sound ambitious and dedicated! Don’t apologize for that.

Don’t suck up to your coworkers – be real – but also make sure you’re not coming across as condescending. Make an effort to connect with them, but don’t be brought down if it doesn’t work.


Post # 9
5081 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
annonabee17 :  My husband has has this happen to him as well. He’s a man in a male dominated field, so I doubt it has to do with you being a woman and more to do with you being the new person working harder that everyone else. DH even had someone go so far as to put up one of their female coworkers to file a false sexual harassment claim against him (which she later admitted). 

I would just keep to yourself and as long as you don’t do anything wrong, they won’t have any proof behind their complaints. 

Post # 10
47430 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
bubbles00 :  Ditto- ask our bosses to hand you any notes for your file rather than display them on a bulletin board.

Post # 11
9520 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

PPs have covered much of what I’d say, so I’ll just say that for so many reasons, that “thank you” bulletin board sounds absolutely ridiculous. I’d hate working somewhere that puts more of an emphasis on favoritism and competition than teamwork and creating a collaborative atmosphere.

Post # 12
769 posts
Busy bee

Just keep on working hard. I had similar when I joined my job. I inadvertently stepped on toes because I was much more willing to work hard than a colleague of mine (who was the only other person around my age). She hated me because I was clearly more interested in my job than she was. She felt entitled because she had been there longer. I just kept my head down and did my work. When I had to, I put in formal complaints about her. Eventually she left (unrelated). Thank God. Be proud of your work ethic and feel sorry for those who don’t share it and are too stubborn to examine their own. 

Post # 13
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

I think that your boss should not have pulled you aside to tell you nasty, unfounded things your coworkers have been saying about you behind your back. That’s not good management, that’s just gossiping.

Just keep on keeping on! Sounds like you’re killing it!

Post # 14
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
lightchaser :  “If you want them to treat you a little nicer, go to them for help with certain things or ask for their opinions. It’ll make them feel better and improve your relationship with them. (It doesn’t even have to be sincere on your end)”

I disagree. To me this is a slippery slope of a woman dumbing herself down to make a man feel more helpful and competent. She shouldn’t have to pretend to have problems or need input in order to gain their respect.

Post # 15
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I am going through this too but you can’t change the fact that you are ambitious and want more for your career. Their lack of initiative to do the same is not your fault. It’s like dealing with a child: they only want it because they see you have it. You just have to continue doing a great job despite how they feel. Just keep to yourself and still be respectful. There isn’t anything you can do or should do to win them over. That’s not your concern. You earned what you have received and that’s the bottom line. You take pride in your work. You aren’t bragging, it’s just stating the facts. You aren’t being cocky or rubbing it in. Sometimes you can’t even please people by just doing your job and that’s what you were hired for. Keep your head up. It gets better but don’t let them see you sweat

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