(Closed) Specifying attire as “Formal Attire, Black Tie Optional” ?

posted 10 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

lol @ the black jeans. I went to a wedding this summer and two guys showed up in jeans!  I was shocked.

I really think that “formal attire” will do the trick. You don’t want the cowboys rebelling against tuxedos, and if you put “black tie optional” that might turn some people off if they aren’t used to dressing up. KWIM?

Post # 5
Member
1753 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

To me, black tie optional means black tie optional. I think the formal attire, black tie optional is a bit redundant.

But if you think your guests might get confused put both.

Post # 6
Member
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

“Black tie optional” is all you need. And some people will disregard that entirely, no matter what you say. My brother, who lives to antagonoize me, wore a Tommy Bahama shirt and khakis to my formal wedding. Clearly, he didn’t give a moment’s thought to the “black tie optional” on my invite or the fact that his wife (my MOH) was dressed impeccably. Fact…. honey badger don’t give a sh!t.

Post # 7
Member
1753 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@lovekiss:

Agreed. Ours was “summer dressy casual”, explaining on our site that it meant sundresses, khakis, suits, whatever made them comfortable except jeans, tshirts and flip flops et al.

I had a cousin show up in ripped jeans and a deep V tshirt. Um yeah…..but we just joke about it and call him summer of deep V guy (Tosh.0 reference). But everytime my husband sees his pic he still grimaces. :

Post # 9
Member
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@jacinda10: “black tie optional” relates to a level of formality, and no one really needs to wear a bow tie. In an ideal world, we wouldn’t even need to worry about telling our guests what level of formality is apporopriate because they would be able to figure it out based on the time of day and location of the event (eg 2pm reception in a church basement vs. 7pm reception in a ballroom). However, weddings and other events have evolved in a way that makes this somewhat difficult for guests, and changing social norms only further complicate things. I think most people understand “black tie” as a concept and that “optional” is different from “mandatory/required”, so you should be safe. However, if you are still concerned, use your network of friends and family to spread the word, informally, that tuxes are not a requirement, but that foral dress is GREATLY appreciated.

Post # 10
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think that “formal attire, black tie optional” will stop the cowboys from showing up in their “dressy” attire (e.g. black jeans).  I would go with simple “jacket required.”

Post # 12
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Gerbera: “To me, black tie optional means black tie optional. I think the formal attire, black tie optional is a bit redundant.”

THIS!!

Post # 13
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i’d just put black tie optional.

Post # 14
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hello date and city twin. My relatives would read “formal attire” as black jeans, too, yep. Probably with matching black cowboy hats, thinking they are the extreme ideal of formal. That’s just how we are here! I haven’t been to a Calgary wedding without at least one person in jeans. Go with “formal attire, black tie optional” or maybe even something more. Good luck! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
909 posts
Busy bee

I would just say “Semi-Formal – No Jeans” If it is real cowboy country then I would also put a note that says “Please leaves Boots and Hats at home”  In cowboy country Black boots, Hats and Jeans are considered formal so you have to be very clear.

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