(Closed) Spender's Remorse…?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s overwhelming all the costs it is hard

Post # 5
Member
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re not alone. We just bought invites and save the dates. 2K flew out the window. For PAPER. It’s ridiculous and I go to bed anxious every night over our escalating costs. We affectionately call our wedding “the money pit”.

Post # 6
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@rbabynorton:  I just tell myself I’m stimulating the economy and that makes me feel a little better 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s what I’m very afraid of. I’m a very practical person, and really don’t have a habit of dropping money on something I could do without, so wedding planning is a tough experience for me and I’ve barely gotten started. My ring is a moissanite, my reception will be at a restaurant, my dress will probably be an inexpensive replica, and the only thing I’m “splurging” on is open bar for our guests. I’m minimizing costs wherever possible and still it’s all scary. We don’t even have to put down deposts for probably 4-5K of our 7Kish wedding, so I’m not looking forward to that bill for food and drink at the end of the night. Even when it comes to expenses that I know are necessary, I get a little head rush from thinking about how much money is now gone, and pretty much nothing about a wedding is necessary in the strict sense except for a license. I realize this is totally not reassuring, but I’m just saying that I understand where you’re coming from. 

Post # 9
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I totally understand.  I waver between shock at how much everything costs and trying to justify it by reminding myself that this is a once in a lifetime event.  Initially, my parents gave me their budget amount.  I decided that rather than work within the budget, I could contribute and therefore expand the budget.  Now, we’re pretty much just making decisions and paying little by little without regard for the budget as a whole.  The one thing I do to make myself feel better is remind myself of areas where were we are saving money (short engagement so no save the dates, no programs, ceremony and reception at same venue, etc.) and several do it yourself items.  Plus, I absolutely refuse to charge anything wedding related, so as not to incur debt that I’ll have to pay off after the wedding ends.  I have a friend who charged everything to have an amazing wedding/reception, got divorced after several years, and now she’s been divorced longer than she was married and is still paying for the wedding!  That’s ridiculous!

Post # 10
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We’re spending comparatively very little on our wedding, but I still feel like it’s a lot for ONE DAY, and that so much of the stuff is not necessary. We’ve cut out a lot of the traditional aspects and extras that cost a lot, mostly because it just isn’t our style, but still. Everytime I spend money on something I’m like “…really?”

Post # 11
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@rbabynorton:  That sounds very sad indeed 🙁

Is it too late to scale back even more? Do a JOP ceremony with a few witnesses and go out to a nice dinner to celebrate with the family it matters to the most?

I’m going through it for the parents too, and I keep having an instinct to just elope instead, but I feel responsible for putting on some kind of show Undecided. I’m just afraid that I would regret excluding everyone more than I would regret going through this whole process for the common good. 

Post # 13
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We wanted to spend under $5000 as well so I shopped around a lot. We bought items from previous brides and we made our own linens, bought things that could’ve reused or sold again. We spent a lot less for 67 guests than most brides do so that helped me justify the costs a bit better. 

Post # 15
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

W

Post # 16
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Whoa!!! Uhhm what are you spending the money on ??? I would be crazy guilty for that !!! For only 17 including you two? Wow!!

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