(Closed) Spending aimlessly, should it really bother me?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I understand how you feel and it does sound frustrating. In addition to going 50/50 on bills, have you thought about having each of you make a contribution to your wedding fund? He really should be contributing to that, which should relieve some of your stress.

Post # 4
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This sounds like a much bigger conversation that needs to take place about expectations regarding money, savings, and future goals. I can understand that without a discussion and set agreement, he may not feel the need to voluntarily contribute financially to the wedding, especially if it’s not something he actually puts value on. However, in the future, how are you going to split the saving for a home, children’s needs, retirement, home improvement projects, vacations…etc. Have you had any discussion beyond your day-to-day bills?

Post # 5
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

CanAmBride is spot-on. This isn’t really a wedding issue; the wedding is just the catalyst. You need to have a series of long conversations about money philosophies- how you save it, how you spend it, what you value, etc. Think of the wedding as a microcosm of life. The way you do things now will become the pattern for how you do things in the future. So if you don’t like being the only responsible adult in the relationship, you need to nip this in the bud. Otherwise you will be implicitly giving him permission to put his wants above your shared goals for your entire life together, and you will be permanently pissed off.

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lovekiss: I agree. If this is an issue during wedding planning it is going to be a much bigger problem when you’re married and he is blowing money that you two need to save for a house, children, retirement, etc. I’d give serious thought to seeing some kind of financial planner or premarital counselor or something before getting married,

Post # 7
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Second, third, etc. what everyone above said.  You guys definitely need to work this out on a large scale before the wedding!  Also agree that he should be saving for the wedding, too.

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