Post # 1
ironically, i just commented in a thread on friday and mentioned that my pregnancy was going pretty well, but that same night i ended up in the e.r. with very heavy bleeding. spent all night in the hospital hoping that everything would be ok, but after doing an ultrasound they found that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. they sent me home in the morning and last night about 3:30 i passed the baby.
i know it’s not my fault, but i can’t help but feel like if i hadn’t lifted that heavy box or hadn’t eaten so many m&m’s i might still have my baby. this wasn’t a planned pregnancy and initially i had mixed feelings about it, but once the initial shock wore off i was so happy and excited to be a mom. and now i’m completely heart broken and i feel so empty.
today while everyone else is barbecuing and hunting for easter eggs and enjoying the holiday, i’m mourning the loss of my child. i was due just before thanksgiving, so later this year while everyone else will be enjoying their turkey and going crazy for black friday, all i’ll be able to think about is the fact that i don’t have my baby 🙁
Post # 2
I am so sorry for your loss. I know you said you already know this, but please don’t think that the miscarriage was caused by something you did.
Post # 3
lilchicana: I’m so sorry to hear you are experiencing this. I have no words that could make you feel better, but am sending hugs your way.
Post # 4
I’m so so sorry. Please know that you’re not alone, it happens way more than women talk about so definitely reach out and get support that you need. I went through this too but much earlier it sounds like. It is absolutely nothing you did. Sending hugs your way as well.
Post # 5
I am so sorry. I had an early miscarriage and I also felt like “if only I didn’t…” but please be kind to yourself and know that it is not anything you did. Something that helped me was the miscarriage boards on Weddingbee. The bees on those boards are incredibly supportive. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Know that you are not alone.
Post # 6
It is not your fault at all. And I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, these things happen and it’s perfectly normal to take a lo of time off to mourn the loss. I can only imagine how painful it is for you right now. (I don’t have kids.) My grandmother miscarried but also had 2 children. It is a difficult thing to go through emotionally. I hope you are getting the support you need from friends, loved ones or a therapist. Wishing you well on your healing journey<3
Post # 7
lilchicana: I’m so sorry you are going through this right now. I had one before Christmas so know what you are going through.
Some of the things I have found
-healing is in your own time. Im much better but there are times when it hits me. Heal in your own time and not when others expect it. It may happen quickly or it may take a long time.
– I was shocked by my anger after mine. Looking up the stages of grief its actually normal.
– unless people have been there they don’t get it. That’s why I found this place great to vent and let it all out. There is a TTC after miscarriage thread that might help you.
Feel free to pm me if you need support
Post # 9
I am so sorry for your loss 🙁
Post # 10
I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Post # 11
lilchicana: I am so sorry for your loss.
Post # 12
I am sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage too. You didn’t do anything to cause this. Just take the time you need to grieve.
Post # 13
I too spent the weekend recovering from my miscarriage. I had my 9 week ultrasound a week ago, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat, we did find out it was twins. The first two days after finding out I was a mess, but I had my d&c on wed and I’m feeling much better. Still occasionally weepy, not back to 100% but it’s a vast improvement from the morning sickness and heartbreak of last week.
Ive found short visits with friends really helpful at distracting me, and getting outside for a few walks. Time is the only thing that will really heal, but don’t feel bad if you’re a mess one minute and happy the next. There’s nothing you could have done to stop or prevent it, I find some comfort in They probably wouldn’t have survived due to some abnormality. It’s my second this year, it never gets easier, but you are more aware it can and does happen.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2014 - Church in partners hometown
Im so so sorry for your loss. I’m sure you must have a million things going through your mind, but DON’T blame yourself, it was not your fault, its something no one could have done anything about. Make sure if you need to, that you talk to someone about your feelings, and know that it is ok to feel everything and anything and that no one else can tell you how or what to feel. My thoughts are with you <3
Post # 15
thank you everyone for all your support. i’m doing a little bit better now that the cramping and most of the bleeding has stopped. having to see all the blood and everything was really traumatic and scary.
we’ve been staying with my parents until we can find our own place and yesterday i just stayed in our room while the rest of my family enjoyed the day. i told my mom she could tell everyone what happened so that i didn’t have to deal with any questions, but she just told everyone that i was sick. she has a hard time talking about it too. in the evening i decided to make an appearance and go outside to visit with everyone. i was out there for maybe 5 minutes when my uncle said that maybe i wasn’t feeling well because i was pregnant. i completely lost it and had to go back inside. my uncle felt awful when he found out what happened.
apparently, once a young woman gets married, pregnancy is the only logical reason to explain any sort of illness. it was annoying before, but now hearing those comments just kills me.