(Closed) Spending holidays away from fiance/husband?

posted 5 years ago in Holidays
Post # 2
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
heyitsnicolelee:  I’m sorry you’ve got that ahead of you, it certainly isn’t ideal. I guess you’ll just need to invent new traditions together and celebrate another time of the year. Good luck.

Merry Christmas!

Post # 3
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

I spend most Xmas away from my husband because I’m from a different country and we live in his country. I usually go home for Christmas and NYE to see my family. That’s okay though because we spend a lot of time together.

Is your husband just gonna be away for Christmas or what other times of the year?

Post # 4
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My fiancé is on the job and we kind of just… make it work. He works midnights so he worked last night (Xmas eve) and when he came home at 8am this morning we opened presents and now he’ll be sleeping until we go to my folks house tonight for dinner, then he’ll go back into work tonight. The situation is never ideal but the best thing you can do is be flexible. To me Christmas is a whole season so if we wind up one year having to open gifts on Xmas eve or the day after Xmas, we will make do. With all of the controversy surrounding law enforcement these days, I am just happy that he comes home safe and in one piece. When we have children we will just adjust as well. If he isnt going to be home Xmas morning, we decided we will sneak out their presents Xmas eve or the night of Xmas or the next day, whatever the situation, and say that Santa had to come to our house first/last! And lastly, congrats to him for getting into the academy, that’s a huge accomplishment! What state do you guys live in? 

Post # 5
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

My DH usually works every other Christmas (he works in a hospital). This is one of his years. When he’s off we go visit my family (halfway across the country) but I feel bad leaving him when he’s working. So I’m just relaxing on my own today. I’ll have dinner ready when he gets off work at 6, then we’ll open presents. 

It’s kind of depressing but it would be even worse if I left him all on his own.

Post # 6
Member
6949 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m not forced but we so it on purpose. We just do our personal Christmas stuff early and fly to our  respective parents’ homes.  Hell come out later, after the holiday.  We’ll worry about Xmas together after we have kids.  Do I miss him? Absolutely. Do I have plenty to keep me busy? You bet!

Post # 7
Member
9464 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We spent holidays apart for the first several years of our relationship (we were in college so would each fly home over the winter break to spend time with our families). It was hard, but we kept in constant contact, calling and texting when we could and keeping each other updated on things (like “going to Safeway to pick up cranberry sauce because my mom forgot again” or “heading to uncle’s to see Christmas lights” etc.). It was nice knowing what he was doing so in a way I felt like I was tagging along.

Post # 8
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

View original reply
heyitsnicolelee:  I was with a police officer and I’m now engaged to a firefighter. You just work around the schedules they have and make it work (ie you have to be flexible that some years Santa comes on Christmas Eve and other times he comes on Christmas night). I’m not sure why you think you’ll never ever have holidays with your Fiance going forward…yes, there will be crappy years where the schedule screws you over and you don’t get to spend Thanksgiving, Xmas OR NYE together but it’s few and far between. 

Post # 10
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

SO and I spend Christmas and Thanksgiving apart more often than not for several reasons. First, we are both close with our respective families and deeply cherish our family time with them. Rather than only see loved ones from out of town every other year, we usually just suck it up and spend the holidays with our individual families apart. It is always an option for us to accompany the other, but with elderly grand parents every holiday really counts. I’m sure this will change if we ever have kids. 

Second, he’s a paramedic and I work in an emergency dispatch center, so we just work holidays a lot of the time anyway. It’s hard, but we are used to it.

We make both of these scenarios work by really making time to celebrate together when we can and keeping in touch through text and phone calls throughout the day. I don’t know… It’s just been something we’ve done for so long that its just our reality and it works okay for us. I do understand how tough it can be, though. You’re not alone, bee!

Post # 12
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband is in the Navy. Sometimes he’s deployed, sometimes he’s away for training, sometimes he’s on watch. It happens. We make the best of it and celebrate Christmas late.

Post # 14
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
heyitsnicolelee:  

I second the comments about making it work. Moreover, you’ll be surprised how often he’s home when you least expect it. So do not lose hope.

 

Post # 15
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

I totally feel your pain since my DH is overseas for work and I am literally spending the Xmas holidays all alone  (all of my family is on the other side of the country and all of my friends decided to go out of town to see their families).  I’m not going to lie, it is super depressing to see Xmas decor everywhere and to see all of my neighbors have their families crowding their driveway and everyone having a great time while my home is so dark and empty by myself.

But my DH and I plan on celebrating Xmas and New Years together after he finally comes back.  It sucks it isn’t right on Xmas day, etc but we both accepted that life never goes the way you want it to and that we can make our own holiday cheer regardless of the date on the calendar.  

You and your DH can create your own special family holiday if he has to work on Xmas.  It might make it even more special since it will be your own unique special day 🙂

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