Post # 1
I went to a local jewelery store today to find out how much the setting on my dream ring would cost (~$3800 if you’re curious). If you’ve seen my posts on the ring board you’ll see that one of the things I’ve struggled with was knowing I have the money to pay for an expensive ring but exactly what that would mean. Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have an agreement that he will buy me an inexpensive, likely non-diamond ring to propose with when he’s ready and we’ll together buy my dream ring after he proposes (he insists on buying me a ring to propose with so I’m cool with this). Anyways, I finally came to the conclusion that I definitely want to go for my dream ring, not a moissanite, not a knock-off and I keep thinking about it in these terms:
1. This is something I will be wearing every single day of the rest of my life theoretically. Let’s say I get engaged when I am 27 and say I live for another 60 years. 60 years times 365 = 21,900 days. I am likely going to spend ~$10 – $12K on the ring. Let’s say I spend 12K, that means the value of the ring is 55 cents a day.
2. I have a pair of Monolo Blanik’s that I wore to my brother’s wedding in about 3 times since. I spent about $700 on them that means the value of the shoes is $233 a day.
3. Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are thinking about going on a cruise this summer for about 6 nights. This will run us about $3500 up front with let’s say another $500 for excursions, drinks etc, so $4000. That means the cruise is $666 a day.
4. I will likely buy a wedding dress, or rather my very generous mother has already said she wants to buy one for me. I know she wants me to have the best but let’s say I get a 3K – 5K dress that I will wear ONCE. The value of the dress is then $3,000 a day.
And let’s not get into the cost of the one-time wedding generally! The ring is a permanent symbol of Boyfriend or Best Friend, something that is tangible, not just the wonderful memories of a cruise or a wedding or wearing a pair of shoes or a dress once. In the end the value is both sentimental like all of these other things but also physical, and overall the daily rate is much lower. I find it silly to spend my money on any of these other things if I don’t let myself get what I want in a ring.
As a note, my parents have already said they are paying for my wedding so my savings will not go to that. Even if the choice was to have a big wedding or get the expensive ring I would still get the ring I think.
Anyways, just some food for thought.
Post # 3
I actually have thought about this a lot as well! I def. understand why women pick to go with more of a budget friendly ring, as my ering was, well, budget friendly. I thought it was nothing short of perfect, but it wasn’t my all out dream ring. What made it my dream ring was the man giving it to me. However, upon losing that ring, and now starting to look again, while my budgeting self (I’m really, really thrifty) has a very hard time justifying the money, or spending any money on a ring for that matter, the other part of me thinks ‘why not?’. I often think about how much we spend on things that don’t matter (eating out, clothes, you name what ever you blow money on), and while a ring might not matter to some women, it is a huge deal to others. I wish girls who judge others by how much someone else’s SO spent on their ring would ponder this for just a minute. Even cars, while a car is a necessity anything with more than four wheels, a motor, and reliability is not. Loads of people splurge to have the add ons on their car because it’s important to them. Rings are important to other people, so why not splurge for the add ons in a ring? While I don’t think it’s smart to throw money you don’t have into the wind, as someone who has worked in a nursing home in the past, I also don’t see the point in saving all your money all your life to only have the nursing home take $5000+ a month for a small shared room until your broke when the state takes over either. Now I don’t by any means encourage others to live on the state, in fact assistance is very overused (excpet in the nursing home scenario–but that’s a whole different post) I’m just saying, why not enjoy life a little while you still can when you can justify it.
ETA: I’ve gotta admit though, I do disagree with you about the moissanite statement. I believe that many women chose moissanite as a way of getting their dream ring while saving money to put towards other things that matter to them. Other women chose moissanite in order to achieve their dream ring without supporting the diamond industry. I would never believe just because a women chose a moissanite, that she let her dream ring go. I also would not consider moissanite a fake. Being such a budgeter, as mentioned I do have a hard time accepting the price tag on diamonds. While we could afford my dream ring, I’m not sure it is important enough for me to justify spending that much money on it.
Post # 4
@google: that’s exactly how I feel, I’d rather my SO spend the money on the ring that will last my entire life than on fancy wedding napkins with our intials on it that people will use to wipe the food off their dirty mouths!
Post # 5
@google: Interesting way of breaking it down.
Post # 6
Love the breakdown. My ring is budget friendly however I might consider one day upgrading the stones to near perfect canadian diamonds. If your financially very comfortable at spending the money and plan on wearring it along with your wedding band then I say get what you love.
Post # 7
I say go for what you love, you deserve to wear what you LOVE for the rest of your life- you certainly shouldn’t have to settle for a ring that you can just deal with.
As far as your moissanite statement went, I know people are for it, and I know some women won’t settle for anything less than a diamon. I know these were not your intentions, but your comment about moissanite was slightly offensive to me. I don’t know if you meant it as moissanite was a knock off, or if you were saying that you didn’t want moissanite (because I know some people suggest that for when women want their dream ring without the price) OR a knock off… hopefully,that’s what you intended.
I have a moissanite, and it IS my dream ring. I actually prefer the way moissanite looks, rather than a diamond. I know they look a like- but I actually like the color difference and the different sparkle. I didn’t settle for it, and I feel as though if I had gotten a diamond I would have been settling, because it wasn’t me.
But I loved your break down. I think people see the huge price tag and think it’s a LOT of money to pay up front, but again- it’s something you’re going to have forever, and maybe one day pass it down. Good luck! Post pictures so we can see this gorgeous ring when you get it! 🙂
Post # 8
Fiance and I definitely spent more on my engagement ring and wedding band then we “should” have… but we had the same attitude you do. This is the one thing that is essentially a daily reminder of your wedding and marriage.
Post # 9
We spent about as much as we’re spending on the wedding as we did on rings. To me they’re a better purchase. The wedding is a day, the marriage and our rings are a lifetime. While I totally agree with your breakdown there is one small thing that does throw it off. At .55 a day for the rest of your life, the ring does sound like the better, smarter purcahse. The part that makes it tough for people, I believe, is the fact that you don’t get to pay .55 a day. You get to pay that .55 a day for the rest of your life all up front on a single day. Now, if we really could pay the daily fee as opposed to the cost up front I totally would have gone for the dream ring. Looking at you Leon Mege setting with a fancy intense yellow boulder. 😉
Post # 10
I must be a pro cause my ring was about 9 cents a day 😉
I think if you have the money and you love it, do it!
Post # 11
I like this breakdown:)
When Fiance and I were first looking, we both wanted fairly simple bands- mine was a little fancier than his, but they would’ve cost about $1200 for both. Then my grandmother gave me 4 diamonds and told me to use them in a wedding band. I took them to my jeweler and she said she could, but I’d need to buy a 5th diamond (the 4 stone rings she showed me looked awkward next to my 3-stone e-ring), and the setting (in platium, to match my e-ring) would be heavier and therefore more expensive. So we ended up spending more like $2200 on both rings, which still isn’t bad considering, but more than we budgeted for originally. Fiance also spent WAY more than I ever would’ve let him spend on my e-ring. It feels bizarre knowing that my finger is worth more than my car, haha.
But the way we figured, the rings are forever, we both might as well get something we absolutely love. We did the same thing with the rest of our budget- food, dress, flowers, paper products, they all are for one day. The pictures are forever. So we saved on everything else and splurged on our photographer, too.
Post # 12
@google: Your cruise is the devil.
Thanks for this. I feel bad about my custom ring since I didn’t want a diamond, I never thought my Fiance would have to spend any significant amount! My ring is, like .08/day.
Post # 13
My mom and I do this all the time. She’s even dubbed it the CPU [cost per use]. I use it a lot to make purchases [like my quite expensive laptop that I use every day]. I’m having a hard time not purchasing the necklace I want to wear for the wedding because it’s about $150 and I most likely wouldn’t wear it very often after that day. I really want it though…
Post # 14
@google: Totally agree, and not to hijack your post at all, but please please don’t pay $4000 for a six night cruise! Unless you’re going to Europe or somewhere very exoctic. Fiance and I have gone on several and have never spent more than $2500-3000 on a weeklong cruise including airfare and all excursions, spending, etc. We also tend to cruise the “higher end” lines. I know its not really the point of your post, but I see so many people get ripped off on cruises it makes me 🙁
Post # 15
I do understand you wanting your dream setting, and it being $3800.00. Is this a brand name setting like Tacori? Not knocking those brands, but the setting price is a lot about the name and not about the actual setting.
I’ve seen very similarly set rings with gorgeous diamonds and they came in at a lot less than $12,000.00.
I guess what I’m saying is I would put less into the setting and more into the stone. Maybe that will be the way you still get your dream ring but also have money left over for everything else.
Post # 16
It’s funny. We had this EXACT conversation a few weekends ago before we went wedding ring shopping. Apart from the photos, and the certificate, and the name change. The ONLY thing material that we will have out of that day will be our rings. And I didn’t want to look at my hand every day (like I do) and think… ohhh… if only I hadn’t bought that carriage ride / fancier veil that is now in storage / extra teir on the cake that no one ate anyway / etc then I would have been able to buy the ring I loved….
If you love it, buy it. It will be with you, ON YOU forever…. and actually you will see your ring more often than you will see your husband!!! So make sure you love it 😉