(Closed) spending most nights alone

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - Prairie Production- Chicago (loft)

When I get off of work, he’s going in…when I’m going to bed, he’s coming home. When I wake up, he goes to bed…. and over and over. So although we only see eachother really on weekends- it’s ok for us. We have adjusted and I now appreciate the time I have to myself. It may not work forever, but neither one of us are bothered by it. We know to make time for intimate moments on our weekends, and I always try to have dinner ready when he gets home at midnight.

Post # 33
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This sounds all too familiar to me! DH works at a game company that is over an hour away if the traffic is really good! So he also chooses to work later and come home later. He also loves his sleep and is a night owl, so he basically just wakes up when he wakes up, and if that’s not until 11am then that means he’ll just stay at work later.  I’m generally supportive of this, because his job can be stressful enough without an awful commute through L.A.  But I do pretty much spend every evening alone as w’ll and it does get old.  DH loves to cook, and I’m sad I don’t get to enjoy his culinary concoctions very often.

And here’s the worst part – from October – April, he teaches on the weekends ALL DAY (drum corps). So except for work holidays, or if one of us is home sick or something, we just rarely see each other.  It’s sad. I feel like when I do see him, I’m overly desperate for attention to the point of being somewhat annoying. But I just remind myself that this is just how are lives are right now, not forever. Maybe once we get to the point where we are having kids, things will be different.  I can hope 🙂

Post # 34
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

DH and I are on completely opposite work schedules. I work night shift (11p-730a) and I also have to work every other weekend. He works Monday through Thursday 8a-8p with Fridays off and he only gets one weekend off a month.

Its hard but we make it work. We have both had this schedule for awhile now. Luckily I get 2 nights off during the week, so I spend time with him on those nights and on the weekends that I have off.

Post # 35
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This sounds like my relationship too!  FI works 12 hour shifts, noon to midnight.  Luckily, he only works either 3 or 4 days a week with every other weekend off, but since I have an 8-5 workday there are still many nights where I don’t see him.  It can be hard, but since it’s been this way since the beginning of our relationship (going on 5 years), I’m used to it.  I try to use the time that he’s at work to relax and do girly things like paint my nails and watch movies on the Hallmark channel.

The really frustrating thing is the weekends.  He’s supposed to have every other weekend off, but unfortunately his workplace tends to be understaffed so he gets called in quite often.  Since we only have those 2 days off together every other week, having him called in to work in the middle of our day off is the worst.

Having a dog has helped me a lot, and also, since Fiance is at a computer all night (he’s an emergency dispatcher), we email in the evenings while I’m home alone.  That way, I’m still able to keep in touch with him and it helps me not feel as lonely.  And, he calls me every night before I go to sleep to say goodnight 🙂

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