(Closed) spending my first christmas with FI family

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9079 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Spending my first Christmas with husbandface.

Post # 4
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This will be my first Christmas with the in-laws too. It’ll actually be my first “real” Christmas in about three years, because I always end up working (curse you, enticing penalty rates!), so I’m a little disappointed that my first Christmas in so long will be spent with his family.

His family can be really awkward too – even on a good day, there are heaps of arguments and fights, so Christmas will be fun….

Post # 5
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sounds like our Christmas!! FI’s parents are divorced but friendly enough to come together for holidays. They and FI’s brother will come over to our house for Christmas this year. My family lives out-of-state so we will see them for New Year’s. 

Post # 6
191 posts
Blushing bee

The first time I spent Christmas with SO family it wasn’t that bad.   But it honestly wasn’t as good as my own family’s christmas.   I kind of felt bad as my parents spent the day alone first time ever!

Post # 7
6112 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

This will be our fifth year (first as a married couple) of flying to Portland to stay with H’s parents. 


I have not been to my mom’s house for Christmas in many many years.  It was not a happy time growing up.

Post # 8
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

The Fiance and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and every year we go to his family’s house for Christmas morning, have breakfast, open up presents with the kids and then go to my mom’s house early Christmas evening (maybe afternoon depending) 

Luckily we’ve never had any problems with this arrangement. 

Good luck~

Post # 9
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This will be our second year spending Christmas with my FI’s family. We do Christmas Eve with mine and then all day on the 25th with his, plus the 26th and 29th usually. This year is really complicated because his parent’s house was really devastated by the hurricane so we can’t go there. I think Christmas will be at his aunt’s, which is fine I guess, but his mother is pretty devastated that she can’t have everyone there. So yeah, not trying to be a downer, but we will have a pretty rough year. 

Post # 10
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

This will be my first year with my inlaws for Christmas too and I’m very nervous about it. Not just because I know I’ll be bummed to miss my own family on Christmas day, but also because we’ll be there for a whole week surrounding Christmas (21st-28th). So it isn’t even like a day with his fam and a day with mine, I’m really missing everything my family does for the holidays. Plus– 7 days is a whole lot of time to spend with family (not just his– ANYONE’S lol). 

But we don’t get to NY very often to see my husband’s family– so when we pay to get there it only makes sense to do a full week rather than try to go up more often for 3-4 days.

Post # 11
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are very lucky that we live close to both sets of parents and they prefer celebrating on different days…so Christmas Eve is spent with DH’s family, and after spending Christmas morning at our own home having some family time we head to my parent’s house for the rest of the day.

I know it can be hard to be away from your family and traditions on the holidays, just make sure you’re not guilting or bringing down your Fiance about it. Not saying you are, couldn’t really tell from your post, I’ve just seen a lot of bees post from your husband’s side where they are always with their IL’s for the holidays and when it’s finally a year they get to be home with their family for Christmas their Fiance makes them feel bad about that. Taking turns is fair and definitely the best way to go about it, but the best way to keep it going smoothly is to make the best of it and stay positive, for fairness’ sake if nothing else.

Post # 12
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

We will be spending it at my parents’ house like last year. My future in laws don’t spend Christmas at their house. They go to their pastor’s house every year, so idk it just feels different and uncomfortable for both of us.

Post # 13
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This is our second married Christmas (4th total) and since we just fly back to the states to visit his family for Thanksgiving, we are spending it by ourselves….I’d have it no other way.  Just DH and I opening gifts, watching cheesy Christmas movies, and cooking a meal to feed a small platoon is my idea of happiness.  

Post # 14
4045 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

This will be my first Christmas with the future in-laws. Actually, this is the first Christmas with my SO since we’ve been long distance for the last few! So exciting. Luckily my brother and SIL are spending the holiday with my parents. They have a one year old, and he’s the first grandbaby, so I know my folks will be happy and not alone! it is strange not having the Christmas I’ve been used to for the last two decades though.

Post # 15
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@mrsrecon:  I’m in exactly the same position – going to FH’s family, first time ever away from home at Christmas, and things will be made more awkward by the fact that his mum and sister have moved countries just recently, which I’m certain will have his grandparents upset.

But I think my mum’s kind of greatful because she’s been kind of sick recently, so she doesn’t have the pressure to do a massive Christmas this year, and can just relax with my Dad and Grandad. So it worked out alright.

Post # 16
4654 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mrsrecon:  We’re 8000 miles away from either family, and we just had a bunch of big expenses… we’ll probably get takeout and watch TV. 

Last couple years we’ve gone to FI’s parents’ place (he was boyfriend then) since my family doesn’t do that much and I’m also not that close to the ones that do. 

I don’t mind it when we do it that way as long as we don’t have to sit in the car for the five hour+ drive to upstate new york with them. (I just hate long car trips.) His family is pretty fun generally. 

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