(Closed) Spending summer with parents/in-laws?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Should we go?
    Do it! : (17 votes)
    65 %
    Heck no! : (6 votes)
    23 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    What does your Darling Husband think of the idea (meaning – is he excited about it, or just going along with it) and – how are your parents around you post-wedding?  Did you see them around the holidays?  Do they respect your relationship and DH?

    I think it would be fine if Darling Husband was ok with it and they were respectful in general.  I think as long as you can create boundaries for yourself, and can communicate what you need from them, you’ll be fine.  Obviously –  you’ll have less privacy in your own home – but, I’d think that would be a minimal inconvenience – but, that’s definitely a personal thing.

    I’d also be concerned about having my own time to do things – meaning, will your parents expect you to hang out with them all the time.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I think your pros outweigh your cons, IMO.  It sounds like you both would have the ideal set up and it would be good for your career and his education progress.  It probably will be odd moving in with your parents for a few months, but I think it could turn out really well based on what you’ve said.

    Just keep in mind that no matter what, there probably will be a few tense/awkward/weird moments just cause that’s what happens when you live with family.  It won’t be perfect, but it’ll probably be a great experience and I’m sure your family would love to have you ‘home’ again for awhile.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Darling Husband and I lived with my mom while we were still dating for 3 months. It was in her 3 bedroom townhouse with my younger (18yo at the time) brother and it was cramped. So I would never live with my mom. I would also never want to live with my in laws because I couldnt stand to be around them that often. However, it sounds like a good situation for you two so I would take advantage of it!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would do it but for less time, maybe just one month.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I think it’s always hard to go back and live with your parents for long periods of time. I would do it, but treat it more as a vacation, and only visit on the weekends or for one week at a time. But that’s just me 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @lindseyrose: your story of your dad, reminded me of something with my Darling Husband.  He loves my mom and enjoys spending time with her.  I love my mom but there are things she does that drives me crazy.  So much so, it agitates me.  Now, this is just normal parent agitation (IMO), but when Darling Husband sees me getting upset (even though it’s not ‘real’ upset – more annoyance and lack of patience) he doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to be around it.  When I talk about us spending time with my mom – he’ll often say “as long as you don’t get upset”.  Again, I’m not actually getting upset – but he knows I’m easily frustrated by things or situations.  That said – I can understand how things your dad does will upset you – I think the best thing to do is to be more aware of it (not saying that will change anything, because it certainly doesn’t help me a bit) – but, perhaps talk to your Darling Husband more about.  Perhaps he can help you recognize when you are getting upset and/or help you work through that.  Him being aware that annoyance/frustration will happen may be something he’s got to come to terms with.

    Long story short – after all you’ve written – I definitely think you should do it!  Time is short and it sounds like a great opportunity to make the most of an opportunity to make great memories with your parents!

    Post # 10
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My big question: Have you discussed in with your parents? As much as they love you two, they may not be interested in having their kids move back home.. 2-3 months is a pretty long time.

    I’d also be concerned about privacy. You just wouldn’t have the same freedom (even if the family is really respectful). You’d really want to talk about boundaries and expecations. Would you eat as a couple or all together? would you be responsible for chores? How would you ask for space? 

    Post # 11
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    oh also, you’d have to talk about money rent or contributing financially? you’ll increase their utility bills and grocery bills

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