- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
My SO and I originally had plans to go out to a movie tonight and just keep it chill. He is going out of town tomorrow for a week, so I won’t get to see him for awhile. I spent all day cleaning the apartment and was looking forward to an evening of relaxing.
My SO got home from running some errands at like 5 and told me that some of his high school friends are coming into town tonight and want to stay with us (background: he lives like 2 hours away from his hometown, because of his job. I moved in with him about six months ago and have no family or friends nearby.) He told me that the three guys were going to crash at our place. First of all – we have an extremely small apartment: 1 “bedroom” but it is essentially a studio because the wall of our room doesn’t even go up all the way – more like a frosted glass partition from the living room that only goes up 3/4 of the way to the ceiling). I am not particularly fond of these friends – two of the guys are OK but the third guy is the most obnoxious, rudest, vulgar guy I have ever met in my life. He is 25 but acts more like he is 15).
I calmy told my SO that I didn’t feel comfortable having these three guys spend the night, especially given the fact our apartment is so small. I told him I would have been ok with the two guys sleeping on our futon, but throwing the third guy in the mix, I was just not cool with them sleeping over. I want to feel comfortable in my own house, and this guy just puts me on edge.
My SO sulked for awhile but I assumed he told them it was a no go. I had suggested they get a hotel – there is a cheap hotel up the street from us that costs like $80 a night, so that would be nothing between the three guys. Well, SO continued to sulk and tried to implore me to let them stay….it is only one night, we can go out so we dont have to spend time together in the apartment except for sleeping, etc. I firmly told him no. He continued to sulk and tried to convince me. He told me that he felt so bad because these guys don’t come into town that often and he always let them stay at the apt. before I moved in, etc, etc. I told him that it was different now because I was there and to please respect I did not feel comfortable with it. He clearly was not going for it, so I told him that if he was set on having them stay in the apartment that I would go to the hotel. I don’t really have friends of my own here and cannot stay with anyone else, but I told him if he was embarrassed, to tell his friends I went to stay with a girlfriend.
He didn’t like the idea, and told me he would feel super bad about me going to a hotel, and he should have checked with me before inviting the guys, blah blah blah. I told him not to worry about feeling bad because I would feel more comfy in the hotel. So, finally he was like OK, I will pay for the hotel and you can stay in the hotel, promise you won’t be mad?
I told him I wouldn’t be. But the truth is. I AM. I am currently in this shady, nasty hotel by myself. Yes, it was my choice, and yes, I do prefer it to being in our small apartment with no privacy with these jerks. Am I being a b**ch? I don’t think I am. Previously, he had two friends stay with us on our futon and I had no problem with it because they are good people. I just flat out cannot stand this one friend of his.
He still wants me to go out tonight with all the guys, but I don’t feel like it. I am here in the hotel by myself drinking rum and feeling miserable and sad.
Was I wrong for him to ask his friends to stay in a hotel? I see his point of view, but come on, his friends should understand he lives with his Girlfriend now and should respect the fact we have a small place and I don’t want three guys crashing there (I am sure the place will be trashed by tomorrow. So much for my cleaning). I am sure they would have been fine in the hotel. I am just really upset and frustrated right now. 🙁
Curious what others would have done in my situation…..