(Closed) Spending the night together

posted 6 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
13295 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It depends on what you believe, really.  I’m Christian and I live with my Fiance, and I don’t feel “wrong.”  But it’s different for everyone.

Post # 4
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s up to adult people to decide what’s right for them. It’s YOUR religious life, so it’s up to YOU and your fiance to decide if it’s right or wrong. If you’re truly concerned, then perhaps you can seek counsel from a religious figure. If you’re just worried about what your parents want, then that’s a different issue altogether, IMO.

Post # 5
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Different people have different opinions on this. Some say sleeping in the same room or bed shows people that you are having sex. Others say that what happens is between you and God. Could you consult a pastor or mentor?  On here you will get a wide variety of responses from strangers, but a pastor or mentor can help figure out what is best for you. 

Post # 6
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Going by the Bible, in order to avoid appearances of evil, you should not. The bible also speaks about keeping yourself pure, which means to not have intercourse before marriage. I encourage you to make decisions based on your conscience and what the Bible says. In the end, you are accoutanble to God only. Think about why your parents are telling you this- they are saying this out of concern for your best welfare.

Post # 7
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@danicalifornia:  I concur 100%

The opinion of any Christian should be based on the guidance of God’s word and not our own thinking.

Post # 8
220 posts
Helper bee

I think the answer to this question is “it depends on your motives.”  

I stay at my fiance’s apartment when I go to visit him.  However, he has a roommate, and one of us always sleeps on the couch in the living room, so we aren’t actually sleeping together.  The reason I do this is because he lives 6 hours away and in an expensive city, so it is either almost never see him because I have to stay in an expensive hotel, or go with this arrangement.

You and your fiance have to know yourselves.  If it is an additional source of temptation then avoid it.   If the reasons for this are purely logistical, then it might be ok.  I do think that sharing a room, and almost certainly a bed, would be difficult to justify from a Christian perspective.

Regarding the comments that people wlll assume sleepovers mean you’re having sex- unfortunately, I’ve found that non-Christians assume all couples past their early teens are having sex no matter where they are sleeping.  

Post # 9
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I agree I think it depends why you are sleeping together. It’s a personal thing I think. If you do not think there is anything wrong with it then I don’t see a problem. If it was in your parents house and they don’t believe you should I can see there point of view because it’s their house and their rules. 

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