Post # 17
I think it’s pretty common to go over budget. We’re currently about 10K over ours (also was originally 25K) and still not done. Not sure how you managed to go over budget though without him knowing. Were you guys not signing contracts together?
Post # 18
You have to tell him. Don’t keep secrets and he’ll find out eventually, so do this sooner rather than later.
Prepare your talk to him by getting all your already spent money listed on paper, along with all the stuff that is left to be bought. Aka be prepared with real data.
Post # 19
Well, I’m not going to say the obvious that you need to tell him (oops, already did.)
If you can’t afford to go over budget, I would look into the areas that you can cut. It’s more than possible to have a beautiful wedding for the original amount you budgeted for!
But I agree with the PPs that mentioned that it’s probably a good idea to discuss future financial habits for your marriage with your FH. It will make things much, much easier on the both of you!
Post # 20
Thank you for your responses. Some of them gave me a mini heart attack and some shed some light. First I would like to clarify a couple of things.
He was part of all the signing of contracts. I miss calculated how much we needed to save to make up the shortage. It was really bad budgeting on my part. He also was letting me handle it. So even though he is aware of the costs I don’t think he was adding it up. Here is the breakdowm:
Venue: 24,000.00 140/pp x 175 people
Misc- 3000 (favors, save the dates, invitations, etc)
My biggest mistake was booking that venue. It does include all of the works but I should’ve thought twice. I guess I should consider a second job. Thank you for all of your feedback. I appreciate your honesty and the desire to help a total stranger.
Post # 21
@girlygurl: You knew the budget was $25,000, but still signed a contract for $24,000 with your venue!? How did that happen?
Post # 22
We (FI and I) agreed that we would save the extra to make up the shortage. But we are still short and I don’t have the heart to tell him.
Post # 23
@girlygurl: I have a couple friends who recently threw their wedding completely out the window and started fresh because they ended up in a situation like that. They lost a few thousand on the deposits, but not nearly as much as they’d have been short if they’d continued along with their plans. Even counting the deposit money lost, their wedding is now under budget.
Post # 24
@girlygurl: I would try calling your vendors and see if you can switch to smaller packages. Maybe cut out the video or have fewer hours of photography or go with some less expensive flowers or switch to beer and wine instead of an open bar. I might also look at returning or selling some stuff (accessories, misc. decor) and maybe try and sell your dress and get a new and cheaper one. Have you already bought the favors? I’d skip those all together if you can.
Post # 25
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
It sounds like you’re going down the road of divorce if you plan on keeping things like this from your fiance. You need to tell him immediately. There’s NOTHING you should keep from each other.
Post # 26
@girlygurl: You really need to tell him.
a) If he was part of signing the contracts, he should not be surprised. He should know what’s going on with your bank accounts too. He’s an adult. He is part of this and therefore partially responsible. You didn’t hold a gun to his head or do any of this in secret.
b) If you don’t tell him, you not only have to deal w. the fact that the wedding is massively over budget, you have to deal w. the fact that the truth WILL come out, and he will wonder why you didn’t say something sooner.
You’re a couple so you need to handle this together. That’s what marriage is all about. You both need to cut back and/or get second jobs. If he’s blissfully unaware, he will continue to spend like normal and things will get worse. Do NOT start your marriage off on bad financial footing.
It’ll be ok! It’s not like you went and spent $20,000 on a custom Pnina gown without his knowledge or something…
Post # 27
Cut some of your people- do you really need 175 people there? Some may even no show which means you wasted money.
Or- forgo your deposit and pick a new venue that is cheaper.
Post # 28
If you ditch the videographer & DIY flowers you’re already a third of the way there.
I also agree no booze, and maybe change your menu to something cheaper? Buffet?
Can you reduce the # of guests? Have the invites gone out?
Post # 29
Thank you everyone! I feel much better. Don’t worry I am telling him tonight! I don’t think he will overreact since he was aware of the cost of things. I just think we were continuing to sign things blindly. I will take your advice and contact our vendors. Thank you so much for that idea. I feel like an ammarture for not sticking to our budget. Lesson learned.
Post # 30
How much was your deposit at the venue? I think giving that up and finding somewhere cheaper is what you need to do.
Cut the flowers down too. Flowers are nice, but not needed.
If you really are short the money, give up your DJ deposit and use an iPod. Yes, it won’t be the same, but right now you can’t afford him.
And yes, having a professional video of your day is special, it isn’t worth going in debt over. Find a local art student to do it for $100.
Post # 31
The room we picked “the grand ballroom” has a minium of 175.00
I would consider a different venue if I didn’t already give them 12000.00