(Closed) Sperm donation – thoughts?

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

SO considered doing that for a bit, but he’s never actually met his biological dad (jerk divorced his mom when he found out she was preg!) so he’s not eligible. I was all for it. I figured, if I could, I’d totally donate my eggs to help a couple out. Why should it be different for him?

Post # 5
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I wouldn’t do it because I’m not confident that anonymity will be preserved over the long-term. If you decide to go forward, you should at least consider the possibility that the child may be able to find out your husband’s identity and how that would feel.

Post # 6
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think as long as BOTH you and your Darling Husband can handle the emotion aspect of his sperm possibly being used somewhere in the future then it’s a great idea.

Post # 7
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@SimplyChic11:  Darling Husband has been thinking about it but then my mind wanders and tells me that is like him fathering someone elses kid. I don’t know, I am on the fence about it.

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@VAwife:  There are so many legal aspects to the confidentiality aspect it’s insane. I think it’d be easier to get medical records for a random patient at a hospital with all the HIPAA laws intact than for a man’s identity at a sperm bank to be revealed.

Post # 9
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Has he really looked into it? It’s actually a pretty involved process with a LOT of rules and screenings. One of the Cracked.com writers did a piece on what it was like and it actually sounds horrible.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19497_6-terrifying-things-nobody-tells-you-about-donating-sperm.html

As for donating eggs, I’d really, really consider that before you see the $20,000 payoff. It’s a lot of hormone therapy and medical intervention and it’s extremely invasive and a lot of egg donations are open, for whatever reason. I don’t know how old you are but I would not recommend considering that until you’re done bearing your own children . . . and I am not sure what the cutoff is. I know two women who did this. It worked out well for them but both never planned on children of their own.

Post # 11
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@SimplyChic11:  That is a toughie.

On one hand I’m thinking go for it! But I am not sure that it’s 100% guaranteed that the kid will never find him. I’m sure everyone will tell you that it is, but I’m paranoid about those sorts of things. That would be my main concern.

As far as the emotional aspect goes, to me a father is the guy who sticks with the child through thick and thin, throught the scraped knees and the rebellious teen years. A sperm donor does not make a father… my father for all intents and purposes is a sperm donor. My dad however decided to marry my mom and have 2 kids with her. He just didn’t want the responsibility after a while. What I am trying to say is that just because your husband donates sperm, doesn’t really make the kid his, if that makes sense. He is doing a good deed to help out a woman or couple that can’t have their own kids, and that’s where it should end.

 

Post # 12
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@SimplyChic11:  I think because men donating their sperm has sort of a stigma behind it. This college kid just trying to make some quick cash not actually realizing what great joy he could be bringing to a couple (or single woman) sort of stigma. No ones going to judge you harshly if either of you decide it’s not for you two.

Post # 14
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t be ok with it. I can’t put my finger on why, exactly, but I just don’t like the idea.

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