(Closed) Spilled the beans… and then some.

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee

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futuresmith4:  

I am sorry…I can understand how frustrating and disappointing this must be for you…that said…isn’t it kind of awkward now that now he is telling you WHEN and HOW he is going to propose?!? I probably wouldn’t stick around that long…you have had the discussion, cat is out of the bag, he knows how you feel…why wait until then?!?

Post # 3
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m sorry that this is not the way you envisioned your engagement… Can I ask, do you believe him that that was his plan all along or do you think he moved the timeline up after your conversations knowing that you were upset? November is not far away if he is really serious.. Do you feel like you’re pushing him?

Post # 4
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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futuresmith4:  What is your SO’s reason for not proposing prior to this upcoming deadline? 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  dojx.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  dojx.
Post # 5
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t know if this will make you feel better but I waited 5.5 years to get my e-ring. And its not because he didnt love me or had doubts. It was because he sucks at planning and timing. He explained that he was so happy with our relationship that he didnt want to change anything. That, and career moves etc. After I clearly (and many times to be honest) voiced my opinion and basically flat out told him that something has to happen, he woke up. I didnt give him ultimatum or threat or anything like that. I just helped him open his eyes.

And you know what? It really didnt take any “specialness” out of my proposal even though at one point I felt like thats it, special thing is done and ruined. I cried when he went down on one knee and have been happier than ever for almost a year now.

It will happen and it will be special. Some guys just take a bit longer 🙂

Post # 10
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee

Does he not realize that making you wait 6 years essentially makes it impossible for it to be a surprise?! I never understood those guys.

Anyway, you can just agree to be engaged and start planning a wedding. You’ll be 50% of a partnership and not some damsel waiting around for a man to “surprise” you with the honour of a lifetime commitment to him. I personally wouldn’t wait much longer because the resentment and hurt feelings will only continue until some action/resolution is taken. 

Best of luck bee

Post # 11
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee

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futuresmith4:  

I get it…and I also think that at this point, you have put in so much time you want so badly for him to come through…and I hope he does!! I also think when you have been with someone so long, it is harder to separate…they are part of your daily routine and changing that is a kind of death…when there isn’t a glaring problem, it is often hard to “justify” that in our own heads…I hope the story has a happy ending for you…I would definitely put an internal deadline though in case it doesn’t…it makes me really sad to see people waste good years in dead end relationships..

Post # 13
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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futuresmith4:  Trust me girl, I used to cry over the “robbed special moment” a lot. But when it happened, it was magical. I guess what you should try to do for now on is truly enjoy your relationship and try to get rid of resentment. The more fights and resentment there is, the less special it will be. If I were you, I would say ok October it is and try to enjoy every day for now on. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and your SO. *hugs*

Post # 14
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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futuresmith4:  I would say, moving forward, keep your “mind timeline” and TRY your very best to put it out of your head. Focus on you and just being happy. Let the cards fall where they may and seriously stick with your guns, if he doesnt do what he says he’s going to do when he claims he will then I think you know where you go from there. In the meantime, Give him a bit of a break though until the vacation/birthday passes, then you are free to make your decision. At this point I would just give him the benefit of the doubT, you’re with him this long for a reason….I so hope he does it and it all works out for you! Can’t wait to hear a good update soon, Bee!

Post # 15
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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ct2015:  you stated this very well and I agree with you..

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