Post # 1
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
I was reading the ‘do you believe in God’ thread and it got me thinking. While both Destination Wedding and I would probably fall into the ‘agnostic’ category if pushed …… I am much more pro-God and pro-religion than she is (though she was raised much more religiously than I was!). I’ve noticed that 90% of our arguments are over religion or politics or philosophy that invokes religion. Unfortunately.
So that made me wonder … are you and your SO on the same page with regard to God and/or religion? I suspect so, but am curious to hear how it’s worked out/is working out for you, especially if you disagree.
TIA!
Post # 3
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
@wrkbrk: Spirituality is a main issue in both of our lives, if we weren’t on the same page, I think things could be very difficult.
Post # 4
Member
4688 posts
Honey bee
We’re both non believers.
Post # 5
Member
3274 posts
Sugar bee
Definitly. We met at a Lutheran high school, are active in our church, and have a very clear understanding of how we will raise our children and send them to Lutheran schools. I would not marry someone who did not share my beliefs. It is a very important part to me and my family.
Post # 6
Member
4045 posts
Honey bee
I grew up going to church, but then as an adult I became an atheist. I am firm in my non-belief and enjoy studying other faith systems.
My Fiance didn’t grow up with any sort of religious influence, really, so now as an adult he’s rather apathetic. He doesn’t believe in any higher power, but he isn’t fussed about it.
So yes, at the core we share the same lack of belief. I am more passionate about it though. It’s never been a source of strife.
I would never be able to marry a man who was a believer.
Post # 7
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
I dated someone for about four years, our beliefs were totally different and we would often argue about that. As I grew older I realized it was too big of a difference. My DH and I are completely on the same page. We both believe in God, we are both passionate about our religion and how we will raise our children. I do, however, think that if both people can be respectful of the other that maybe a relationship could work without agreeing on religion. My ex often mocked my beliefs and that was a huge problem for us.
Post # 8
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
No, DH is atheist while I’m a Christian. It doesn’t negatively affect our relationship, as we still respect each other. I think I would have a difficult time being married to a fundamentalist Christian.
Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
@MrsRichard: I tend to agree with you. It can certainly work but mocking is a huge red flag.
@AB Bride: that’s interesting!! How often would you say the topic comes up, and how do you handle it?
Post # 10
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee
My Fiance was raised very Catholic (but he is not devout), and I was not raised anything. We both believe in being decent human beings because it is the right thing to do, so that is really all that matters to me.
However, if my Fiance asked me to compromise my beliefs and change myself to suit him then I don’t think it would work out. I have expressed that I will accompany him to church the handful of times he goes a year if he wants, but I will not be converting because I don’t necessarily believe in the religion itself and it would be dishonest and disrespectful of me to do so.
He respects my very liberal beliefs, and I respect his conservative ones. We learn from each other and how to understand each others’ points of view. Religion as a topic doesn’t really come up, so I’m not really worried about it; we’ve agreed that if we have children we will let them choose to follow what religion they like, if any, and not push them in any one direction except to be a good person.
Post # 11
Member
770 posts
Busy bee
Neither of us drunk the kool-aid. 
Post # 12
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@wrkbrk: When it comes up, it tends to be in clusters, so it’s hard to really say. Maybe once a month on average?
We are good about debating things, getting heated and passionate about our opinions without insulting each other. Then we move on to talking about something else without any problem. If one of us starts to get upset we’ll just switch the topic a bit sooner.
It would probably be a bigger issue if we had kids, but we’re not planning on having any at this stage and we have talked about how we would deal with it if we ever do decide to have any.
Post # 13
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
DH was also raised Catholic, so I think he finds my beliefs easier to deal with than his parents. My denomination tends to encourage questioning, whereas when he was in Catholic school or church questions tended to be shut down.
Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
@AB Bride: that sounds very reasonable 🙂 thanks for sharing. We’re working on it….
Post # 15
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
I’m a Christian and my BF is atheist. He doesn’t mock my religion or anything like that, he is very supportive of my beliefs and I don’t try to force him to believe in my beliefs. He wishes he believed in some sort of religion but just can’t. It doesn’t negativly affect our relationship at all. It does make me feel sad sometimes that he doesn’t believe in God but we are young and he has his whole life ahead of him to find something to believe in.
Post # 16
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
@wrkbrk: We disagree, but for the same reason. He does not believe in a god because there is no firm, visible, irrefutable proof that a god exists.
I believe in a god because there is no firm, visible, irrefutable proof that a god exists. To me, that is faith.
We respect each other, and our beliefs.