(Closed) spin off – do you and your SO feel similarly about God/religion?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: as far as you and your so:

    we're on the same page w/r/t God and religion.

    we're not on the same page w/r/t God and religion.

  • Post # 92
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My SO’s father was the worst example of a Christian growing up. He would go to church and then come home and Bible beat and hate on anyone who wasn’t a middle aged white male. My SO has been an atheist since he was in junior high. My parents, on the other hand, never really cared about religion. They aren’t religious at all, but they also think there could be a god. I was loosely religious through elementary/middle school, but when high school came I started questioning everything. I felt like I was only religious because I was growing up in a conservative area, not because I actually believed in it. I have trouble beliving in it because of my logic. I would consider myself agnostic, but my SO is an atheist. 

    Post # 93
    Member
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @Bette_Noire:  to answer your question, yes, it’s more cultural than anything for him. If you ask if he believes in god, he’ll say yes. If you start pulling other aspects of the bible and ask him about it, he’ll be skeptical. And where I’m from, being a Catholic who doesn’t practice is super common.

     

    Post # 94
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee

    I with there were an “other” option since it is yes & no. He is a catholic and I am presby – but our overall outlook is very similar – habits just differ. We are getting married in a catholic approved ceremony, in a Unitarian church, by my cousin who is a presby. We’ve talked about everything & seem to be very much on the same page but also are in different churches. 

    Post # 95
    Member
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @wrkbrk:  We are mostly on the same page, but he is more strict with it. 

    Post # 96
    Member
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @wrkbrk:  Wasn’t exactly sure what to put because neither option fits entirely.

    Both of us were born and raised in Catholic families. I have more Priests and Nuns in my family, but he grew up going to Church on Sundays (when he was very little).

    Neither of us believes in Catholicism now. We both agree that Pope Francis seems like a good guy and we like a lot of the things he’s doing – such as changing the tone used when speaking about the LGBTQ community and non-believers. Instead of outright condemning them he uses loving language. He isn’t changing the Church’s stance on anything (which is why we aren’t Catholics), but it is nice for a change of tone at least.

    Out of the two of us, I tend to lean a bit more towards Atheism then he does. He believes in God and he believes in Jesus, but he has no set religion. I have doubts about whether God exists and, while I believe many good things can be learned from the Bible (and all religious works), I also doubt that Jesus was more than just an average guy.

    I would be open to allowing our kids to be raised in a Church, but only if that religion was welcoming to people of all walks of life and didn’t judge them for those differences. He feels pretty much the same way. And we both agree with the idea that we should allow them to explore different religions rather than forcing them to believe one specific thing.

    Post # 98
    Member
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    View original reply
    @Rachel631:  Maybe I lean a bit towards Nature Worship without realizing it. I feel much more at ease and at peace when I’m in Nature then I ever have when sitting in a Church. At the end of the day though, science trumps all.

    Post # 99
    Member
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My husband pulled a 180 just after we got engaged. He went from being anti-God, anti-christian, anti-church, everything — to being a christian, a follower, a believer, everything like that. He said he respected me and would let me but also said he could never be with me if i really got that into it.

    Dating I thought about leaving a few times in the beginning but I just couldn’t break the feeling that we were meant to be together… Now I know why.

    We are SO much more connected now and on a much deeper and truer level. I honestly wonder how we made it work before. I’ve done it both ways and I could never be with a non-christian ever again. I don’t know how people do it and i really worry because i always knew that it would be a constant struggle when we had kids. Theres zero way an aithiest and a true christian can agree on that. I wanted a christ centered home, kids to be raised not just going to church but learning about God and being raised to have a relationship with him. He said he MIGHT show up to church “just becuase he had to” once in a while but didn’t want to do anything more then tell our kids that this big dude named God existed and let them make their decision from there. I would NEVER go for that. It would have been a COMPLETE nightmare raising kids like that – I don’t know what I was thinking but i’m so glad I stuck around for the Guy he is today.

    It had ZERO to do with how “nice” and “christian” we acted – it had nothing to do with respect of different beliefs. We tried so hard, we couldn’t truly connect on that level, we disagreed on raising kids, life in general, everything. We respected each other, i didn’t blame him for feeling the way he did cus i’d been through that in the past. But I saw another side to it and he didn’t…. until now. We’re now able to connect on a much deeper level then we ever thought possible before.

    Post # 100
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes – we are both staunchly unreligious.  In fact, on our first date, it was clear that SO was totally bowled over and halfway in love. 😛  But before he was too far gone, he dialled back and asked if I was religious because that was the one potential deal-breaker he could see in me, as everything else was a go for him at that point.  When he learned that we were on the same page, he let himself fall all the way. 😛

    Post # 101
    Member
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar

    @wrkbrk:  Very interesting topic. Both SO and I believe in God. i would say that i am a bit more involve in church then he is…we both go every sunday and attend the same church we have been since we were born…that is how we met..! But over the years we both have been less involve…this is absolutely very important for us…bc we do plan on having kids. 

    Post # 102
    Member
    2090 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    We both share similar beliefs… I have dated men who did not share my beliefs, and it did not work out. I am so glad that my Fiance and I are on the same page. 

    Post # 103
    Member
    639 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @wrkbrk:  We’re both atheist.

    Post # 104
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @wrkbrk:  Interesting topic.  Fiance was raised Catholic and I wasn’t raised with religious education.  Was I baptised? Sure. Did we go to church? After my brother was born, we stopped going.

    Fiance is a little bit more religious than I am – he believes that there is something bigger but doesn’t always label it as “God”.  I tend to identify as more spiritual than religious and haven’t fully figured out what I belive in (if anything). Should we choose to have kids, we have already discussed that each of us is open to educating our children about religion and supporting whatever path they may choose.

    I think two people can have differing opinions regarding God and religion as long as there is a true respect for the other person’s beliefs.  I think it gets significantly more challenging when cultural/religious practices (that are very different from your own) begin to enter the relationship.  Not impossible, but more challenging.

    Post # 105
    Member
    2490 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    We are both atheists

    Post # 106
    Member
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My husband was raised Catholic, but doesn’t believe/practice, while my family is buddhist.  We both share similar beliefs now though.

    The topic ‘spin off – do you and your SO feel similarly about God/religion?’ is closed to new replies.

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