(Closed) spin off: do you follow "cover your plate"?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you try to follow or are in favor of "cover your plate"?



  • Post # 92
    7380 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think it’s a good rough guideline that can be altered towards the situation when someone is unsure of how much to give.

    Post # 93
    278 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2005

    I absolutely do not.  If a couple wants to have a fancy expensive wedding, or a simple cheap wedding, that’s no concern of mine.  I give the same, regardless.

    I’ve learned from the Bee that a) I’m cheap when it comes to gifts, and b) I need to invite a ton of people from the East Coast because they will all send you hundreds of dollars, and are obligated to do so even if they don’t attend.

    Post # 94
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I never heard of “cover your plate” until I joined the Bee.  I generally don’t only because I have no clue how much someone’s wedding cost, who paid for it, etc and I know its rude to ask. 

    I’m from the SF Bay Area and that is a term I never heard.  


    Post # 95
    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    People that do have “cake and punch”-esque receptions (eg the 5 Oklahoma weddings I’ve been to), they still register for the little things too, like trashcans, kitchenware, cups, plates, towels, stuff like that. We (college students) try to buy up all the little things and package them together, sometimes amounting to $25-30, but at least they have knocked things off their list that they asked for.  One time we went in and bought their 3 remaining towels and a paper towel rack or something.

    I think you should do whatever feels adequate for your relationship and their registry. If they ask for it, it’s fair game!

    Post # 96
    1002 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @bebero:  I agree with your 3 points 100%. If someone gets married at city hall and has a reception at a local restaurant, you should give them less than if they have a huge ceremony in a church followed by a reception in an expensive hall? Nope! Also, I have never told any of my guests how much the wedding, or anything ABOUT the wedding, was costing. How is that relevant? How would they know what I’m spending? And I’ve never asked a bride or groom “How much is my plate?” haha… how awkward!

    The amount you give/spend on a gift should depend on your financial situation, how close you are to the couple, and how much you want to give. 

    Post # 97
    6835 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Um, NO.  If anything, I’m tempted to gift more to the couples that can’t throw huge expensive weddings.  They’re obviously not loaded and don’t come from loaded families, so they could use that gift a lot more than the ones blowing $50,000 or $100,000 on a wedding.  

    But in actuality, I just gift according to how close we are with the couple getting married.

    @moriah:  LOL right?!  Damn, I wish some of these New York / New Jersey bees were my real-life friends so I could get tons of money!

    Post # 98
    1811 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @bebero:  Well, TBH, I’ve never heard of someone having a wedding catered and not at a reception hall….all anyone ever does here is sign a contract for a place that provides a space + cocktail hour + reception, then they find their DJ’s, flowers, etc. But, like I said, it’s also a starting point…if someone close to us had a smaller wedding, we’d still give a nice gift. 

    ETA-Like I also said, by the name of the place, most of the time native LIers will know if it’s around 100pp or 200pp. My mother is also an old fashioned in your face Italian, and if it’s for the purpose of making sure her gift is adequate, doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with finding out the cost per head.

    Post # 99
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Close friends or family, I give what I can/want to give.  I don’t think about the plate.

    When it comes to acquantainces, I aim to cover my plate.  That being said, I base my approximation on AVERAGE wedding costs.  If someone wants to go crazy and opts for more expensive options, it’s not the guests responsibility to pay for it!

    Post # 100
    1094 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We are getting married and inviting people to share in our day. We want memories with everyone important to us there to witness us beginning our life as a married couples. We are not getting married to turn a profit. If we get gifts? AWESOME. I love getting gifts. If we don’t? I genuinely don’t mind. I just want people to be there, I don’t want their money. We budgeted this wedding based on how much we could afford, not based on how much we anticipate making back at the end.

    Post # 101
    880 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I never have any clue what ‘my plate’ cost, however always give a gift, typically cash, which I would guess is in the ball park, but how am I to really know.

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