Post # 107
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
@Birdi: +1 on that! I was given a very gracious and thoughtful gift from the man that I love. Who is to judge me because I was given a nice gift? He knows I would’ve said yes with a ring pop, but wanted to invest in something nice for me. I had no say in it, but am so grateful he put so much thought into getting me a really nice ring. I am not saying that spending $100 is any less thoughtful, but I also don’t judge a woman for that, so I hate the thought of being judged.
Post # 108
Member
6648 posts
Bee Keeper
I rarely notice anyone else’s ring, to be honest. Objectively, and compared to all the things a person could notice, even a 4 ct diamond is pretty small (we’re still talking measurements in mm). One would have to be looking for the ring to notice it, and if that’s the case, then a person likely has preconceived notions about what they expect to see on that finger anyway. And that naturally leads to judgement.
Like a PP said, we ALL judge others based on clothing, manner of speech, material things, etc. Those who claim they never judge anyone aren’t being truthful, IMO. However, I’ve always preferred to give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume that my snap judgements are necessarily true. So while I might have ideas about many things I see, I try not to let that get in the way of me getting to know that person. Getting to know them better can either prove everything I thought I knew or it can prove I didn’t know a thing. Judgements might be reflexive; voicing them or believing them to be absolute truth is almost always a mistake.
Post # 109
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
I don’t know that I necessarily think anything negative, but my mind does think, “Wow, huge rock.”
Post # 110
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
@RTC_KLC: How nice! That’s exactly how I feel:) Grateful. there is so much more to an engagement/marriage than a piece of jewelry. I would trade mine in a second…well, for a lot of things;)
Post # 111
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
@memo: +100. I don’t understand upgrading – to me, it would be insulting to the man who gave the ring.
Post # 112
Member
8470 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Just about every girl I know personally who has a big ring is high maintenance, so it’s no wonder to me why they have a big ring.
I used to think that the prettier you are, the bigger your ring is. It was just the way it seemed when looking at girls’ rings a while back when I wasn’t even close to getting engaged. However, I think I’m pretty & I don’t have a big ring 🙁
I find myself more in love with “average” sized rings. But, yes, I find myself judgemental when it comes to big rings…& yes, a bit jealous.
Post # 113
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
I only start juding when the person with the huge rock opens her mouth and starts bragging about it and/or trying to make me feel bad about the size of my ring.
Post # 114
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
Although my stone isn’t necessarily large- 1.51 carats- it is large for my age. I have gotten a couple comments/judgy looks. What my Fiance decided to place on my finger is no business of theirs! I love my ring my Fiance gave me and constantly find myself looking at it 🙂
Post # 115
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
Lady, the ring has to be the Rock of Gibraltar for me to notice. I’m just not that observant of people’s hands.
What I have caught myself doing is using stone-size as ‘evidence’ of low character of someone I already dislike. But that starts with the craptastic person before it gets to their craptastic ring, and really, it could be anything associated with them–craptastic dye-job, craptastic whale-tail, craptastic spider-mascara…
Post # 116
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
I don’t really notice unless they are big, like Kim K big. I live in a city where most people seem to sport some serious rock, so maybe I’m delusional, but unless it’s crazy out there big it notice and decide if I like the style, but don’t really judge them. I really don’t notice peoples engagements rings to honest though – only when friends are recently engaged.
Post # 117
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
I notice people’s ring all the time – even if they aren’t engagement rings. 🙂
I do judge yes – but like others have said, I wonder who they are, how much the ring was, etc. I don’t judge THEM on their ring.
I have what’s considered a large ring – 1.14ct. For us, I did want a little bigger but my stats are great on my ring. And it’s SUPER shiny which is what was important haha!
Saying that, I feel judged on my ring. My partner and I work very hard for our money but I work as a travel agent which people assume isn’t a well-paying job. So when I drive off in my nice car, wearing my heels and Tiffany jewellery, I feel like people are thinking “woah. look at the gold-digger.”
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