(Closed) Spin off: do you still attend if you can't afford a gift?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Soon2BD-CBee:  i have never understood that to invite ppl to the ceremony and not the reception?!? alot of Italians have done this (i’m Italian/black mix)  i remember my grandmother being invited to the ceremony and not the fancy reception and i remember feeling bad as a lil girl we would not have cake and food and dance  i would be so insulted but thats just me.

 

 

 

Post # 48
Member
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I honestly was far more disappointed by “no” RSVPs than I was about the few guests who didn’t bring a gift to our wedding. Meaning, I cared far more about the people I loved being there to celebrate with us.

I think that, if I really couldn’t give a gift, I’d still attend a wedding with a well wishes card. I really can’t imagine any of my friends truly being miffed that I couldn’t afford a gift at that time.

Post # 49
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Gemstone:  +1 no RSVP would make me mad but i really would not care about the no gift i would want ppl there that i love and care about more then anything or gift. a no RSVP would caz me not to want to talk to that person for a while unless they had a really good reason.

Post # 50
Member
2625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

yes, I would still go.

Post # 51
Member
5063 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@HisNightOwl2014:  It is quite common for my friendship group to invite friends to the wedding in church and family and bridal party to the reception. I don’t feel insulted, I understand that people can’t afford to have everyone at the reception.

Post # 52
Member
3051 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I wouldn’t attend unless I was close to the bride or groom. If it was family or close friends and I couldn’t afford a gift, to be honest, I would probably tell them and tell them I usually don’t go to weddings if I can’t bring a gift and see what they say. I’ve declined one wedding before because I couldn’t afford a gift but I didn’t really want to go in the first place.

On the flip side, I wouldn’t mind one bit if someone didn’t bring a gift to my wedding.

Post # 53
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I have always been one of those people that want to be showered with gifts at my wedding and have even thought to myself these people better get me gifts……shamefull I know but hey I’m honest. I think living in poverty for so long skewed my thinking. But after having my grad party a couple of weeks ago…..yes I was an older non traditional student and maybe a grad party was stupid but working that hard necessitated a celebration. Anyways after having my grad party there were people that didn’t give me a gift or card but having them there was enough for me and I was grateful they came and ate cake. 

 

BUT I really cherished some of the cards….. mostly the ones where my friends or family wrote a little something extra in there or the cards with sparkle/glitter 🙂

Post # 54
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Soon2BD-CBee:  i just find it strange. but that’s just me i would not invite someone to the ceremony and not the reception to celebrate.

Post # 55
Member
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@jessdoxy:  +1 i have felt the same way it is shameful lol but your so right the cards with there words of love and true friendship there being there taking the time out of there lives to celebrate your special day is more then enough ; ) i have learned that too

Post # 56
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would try to bring at least $20-$50, but if even that was not possible I would just bring a card. I would want everyone invited to attend, even if they couldn’t afford a gift. That wasn’t nearly as important to be as having everyone I cared about coming. I would have been more upset if there were people who said they could not make it, how would I have known it was because of money and not because they didn’t want to be there? Weddings SHOULD NOT be about money… if they are, that defeats the purpose…if you have a wedding to make money then just save the money and get married at the courthouse. Weddings should be about sharing the special day with the ones you care most about, the ones who want to be there to support you.

Post # 57
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t expect gifts from the people I invite, so I would still want them there even if they didn’t bring a gift. I have gone to weddings before where funds didn’t allow for a gift, but I always took a card and wrote a nice note in it. 

Post # 58
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsPanda99: I personally invited people to my wedding to be a guest and celebrate with us. NOT FOR GIFTS. It upsets me when i read others saying ‘it’s against etiquette’  ‘or atleast bring a card’, since when did everyone become the wedding police when it comes to gifts. I do not expect nor want anything but their love and support. I didnt want our wedding to be about money or gifts. I had quite a few guests not bring anything, and i am so glad that they still attended our wedding. It made our wedding that much better, and was a gift to have them witness our special day.

Post # 59
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I would not be offended in the least if someone didn’t bring anything at all–they are probably paying $500 to attend my Out of Town wedding, and I can buy my own salad bowl.  I don’t really care about getting a card (cards have always struck me as a weird waste of $5), but I’d be thrilled if I got a letter and a picture of us together or something.

Post # 60
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@badabing88:  that is awful. 🙁 It breaks my heart when people act that way. I cannot wrap my head around the entitlement some people have. 

I feel like telling people who complain about gifts ‘You want a gift,  pay it forward, be selfless, go volunteer . ‘ #endrant 😉

Post # 61
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I’ve been a dirt poor college student, so I totally get it. I think I would go, but maybe try to find something around my house to re-gift, like a bottle of wine or a random kitchen appliance I hadn’t taken out of the box yet. I’m not crafty, or else I’d recommend something like that. Lack of money should not prohibit you from celebrating with your family/friend.

The topic ‘Spin off: do you still attend if you can't afford a gift?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors