(Closed) Spin off from how did your first time feel. When did you lose your virginity?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: What age did you lose your virginity?
    12 - 15 : (88 votes)
    18 %
    16 - 19 : (245 votes)
    50 %
    20 - 24 : (102 votes)
    21 %
    25 - 30 : (20 votes)
    4 %
    30 and above : (5 votes)
    1 %
    Still a virgin at age 20 : (11 votes)
    2 %
    Still a virgin at age 25 : (14 votes)
    3 %
    Still a virgin at age 30 : (0 votes)
    Still a Virgin and Older than 30 : (1 votes)
    0 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4429 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @Crystals_and_Colour:  it wasn’t painful as much as uncomfortable but then again my EX was small as i found our later in life hahaha. but i felt like a big girl a women. it sounds silly now but back then i felt like a women not a lil girl any more.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3476 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    You don’t have an option for “Still a virgin, under 20” (Not that I qualify, but I just noticed)

     

    I lost it at 14, it was on a camping trip with my “boyfriend” of a few weeks, my best friend and her boyfriend; it was a mistake.  He dumped me 2 days later, and it was another 3 years before I even considered getting that close to a guy again. 

    The next guy I was with (at 17) was a similarly horrible experience, we had been seeing eachother for a few months, and shortly after we did it he started canceling and rescheduling dates left and right– I found out about a week later that he was cenceling them because his FIANCEE was back in town! I was so mortified I made a mutual friend of ours tell her what had happened; I knew she would hate me no matter what (we didn’t know eachother) and I figured that if I were in her shoes I would want to know, but not from the “other woman”.  

    I met my FI about 6-8 months later and out first time was supposed to be a one night stand.  I was in a pretty bad place with the whole dating/relationships thing, and I was trying to convince myself that not every guy I slept with was a complete jerk and would end up hurting me– and to prove it to myself I gave up on dating and was planning to just hook up whenever I felt like it, and skip over the whole commitment part of things, since all the guys I was attracted to couldn’t handle that part anyway.  Guess love really does find you when you’re not looking! Smile

    Post # 5
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @juliette.eliza:  aww sorry that you had such a bad time I can relate. 

    My first time was 14 as well – he was 17 a senior in high school and I was a freshman and he was one of the popular guys and I’d been pining after him for months and umm one day in school no less one thing led to another and it happened and I felt nothing I didn’t bleed nothing I don’t even think my hymen broke until i got home and was climbing the stairs cause I skipped a step and then i felt some pain and went I went to the bathroom there was blood.

    The guy I lost it to was nice to me after but nothing more came of it I did resent him for a really long time because I thought that we would date after. In fact when I turned 20 he and I ended up reconnecting and I asked him what happened and he said that to be honest that what happened that never should have happened not because he didn’t like me because he did but because I was too young and he didn’t pursue anything after because the relationship that would have ensued would have destroyed me he was a senior I was a freshman people would have known we were having sex he would have graduated and I would have been labeled and he didn’t want that for me which he tried to explain but I was so angry about him choosing not to date me that I shut him out. We’re actually very good friends now. He’s a great guy married with kids and even though the situation wasn’t ideal I could have done a lot worse with the kind of guy I lost it to.

    I didn’t have sex again for another 2 years after that so at that point I was 16 and the guy I did it with was my BF of about 9 months and he was a virgin and had NO IDEA what he was doing and the pain I didn’t feel the first time i felt the second because my walls now needed to stretch for the first time to accomodate a penis. It was very uncomfortable about the first 10 times but after that it was pretty much smooth sailing. And from 16 onwards the longest I’ve gone without is a year.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    17, with my ex boyfriend. It was on our 6 month dating anniversary, he rented a hotel room (not sure how since were under 18 come to think of it… but I know he did) and it was all planned. IT wasn’t great, but I don’t regret it. I was with him for 5 years so I certainly don’t feel like it was a passing fling or anything!

    Post # 7
    Member
    4038 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    It was with my high school sweetheart a few days after my 15th birthday, it was uncomfortable but not unbearably so, he was very sweet, and I have zero regrets…I’m even still friends with him, he and his wife came to my wedding!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I was 16.. with my FI! In his parents basement. It was a bit uncomfortable & very tight feeling, but didn’t really hurt. I remember he was just like.. so want to try having sex soon? And I was like sure. At the time, I really didn’t see sex as a big deal at all. I feel SO differently now though! I feel very lucky that I ended up losing it to the same person I’m with now. But I truly didn’t put any sort of importance on sex at that time in my life. I started feeling differently about it as time went on though. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I was 16.  No pain or anything for me, guess I’m a born natural 😉  I guess we worked up to it so by the time we were doing it it was all very natural and exciting.  I had to deal with a lot of controling catholic guilt imposed by my mother who thinks she is god, but that is a whole ‘nother story!

    Post # 10
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I was 19, hurt like hell and and bled a ton. It was with a bf whom I loved, and loved me too. I don’t regret it. But it was 0 fun.

    Post # 11
    Member
    662 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I was 20. It was with my now husband. I don’t remember it hurting… but I do remember being scared. It wasn’t something we talked about or planned doing… I did bleed a lot and was super embarrassed.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    758 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Also 14.  With my highschool boyfriend (we dated for 3 years). In his basement.  It didn’t hurt and I didn’t bleed. But I had a lot of moral-fluff ingrained in my head and half way through I sort of freaked out and ran into the bathroom, crying.  I made him take me home.  Then I reflected at home for a day or two and went back to his house that weekend.  We talked about things and tried again.  And it was okay.  Not great or mind-blowing, but I didn’t cry. 😛

    Post # 13
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    An ex-boyfriend. I was 18, he 30. I always had a thing for older men, the boys I went to school with just seemed too “immature” for me and I could not even think to have sex with any of them. Yeah… I know… snob much? My parents did not approve for obvious reasons.

    Post # 14
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    16…I didn’t feel a darn thing (pain wise) and had no idea what to expect. He was a virgin too.  It lasted what felt like 4 minutes but apparently was really 2 hours and I ended up late for my curfew lol. High school one night stand… But now he’s my FH lol. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3476 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    @Elegant_Oppulence:  Mine was similar– he was a senior, I was a freshman.  Honestly, I barely even remmeber that night, I don’t recall any pain or anything but I don’t really remember enjoying it either. It’s not really a “happy” memory but it’s not particularly painful either, I don’t regret it either.  My second time was more hurtful, mostly because I am NOT that girl, and I hated myself for hurting his fiancee (who coincidentally decided to marry him anyway and he continues to cheat on her with other girls to this day). 

    But it’s all a part of what made me the preson I am, and I’ve got a pretty darn good life now, so I suppose it all works out in the end. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think I was 17 (um, how lame is it that I’m not sure). It was my HS boyfriend, who I was for three years….and we were walked in on by his dad’s roommate (we thought we were home alone) who absolutely knew what was going on. SO embarrassing.

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