(Closed) Spin off: have you ever been the "other woman?"

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever been the "other woman?"

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 137
    Member
    436 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    This will probably sound ridiculous to many people, especially for those that do not believe in God.

    My DH cheated in previous relationships, I wasn’t the ‘other woman’ but he did cheat plain and simple.

    He found Jesus, he is a completely different person (in more than just this way) and he would never go back to his old ways.

    Change happens. You can’t say it never happens, because it can.

    Post # 138
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee

    I would never betray someone else like that. I have been cheated on and I know how it feels. 

     

    Post # 139
    Member
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    i have been. A couple of times with guys who were dating someone and once with a married man. I feel worse about some than I do others… one of those guys is engaged now and I know that he has been cheating on his Fiance since the beginning (not just with me). I feel really bad for her and kinda want to say something but it is not my place.

     

    Post # 140
    Member
    7426 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’m kind of surprised how close the poll is.

    Post # 141
    Member
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    I said yes, but only “hooking up” (not actual intercourse) and I was like 19 in college dorms. I only did one time knowing the person had a gf. I think I did with others only one or two times but didn’t know they were in a relationship until afterwards.

    Post # 143
    Member
    2861 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @FLBlonde93:  This by far the most jugdmental thing I have read in this entire thread. Don’t get a nose bleed up there in your ivory tower. 

    Post # 144
    Member
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @FLBlonde93:  Do you feel the same way about men that sleep with taken women?

    Not to be snarky, I’m honestly curious because there seems to be much more backlash against “the other women” and not so much about “the other men.”

    Post # 145
    Member
    1877 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @worldtraveler:  Absolutely, why would men be different?  Right is right and wrong is wrong.  To make it gender based would be to discriminate.   There are a lot of gray areas in life, but this is one issue that remains black and white to me.  To knowingly choose to cheat or facilitate cheating is wrong, regardless of your gender, age, financial status, etc.  It is an act of betrayal and deceit, two things I find morally repugnant. 

    Post # 146
    Member
    1877 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @mixtapehearts:  In case your hypocrisy is lost on you, you are judging me for being what you perceive to be judgmental.  That is illogical.  Also, I make no apologies whatsoever for having moral standards that do not support the deceit and betrayal of infidelity.  I have as much as a right to believe in right and wrong as others do to make excuses/exceptions/justifications for their immoral actions.  Free speech is a right we enjoy in this country and I am entitled to my opinion.  

    Post # 147
    Member
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Surprised at how many were the other woman.

    It is the mans choice, however I do believe for moral and plain out respect reasons that women should never knowingly be “the other woman”. Sure it’s up to him, but if we knowingly do it, we’re just as guilty. Not our responsibility to save a relationship but shouldn’t be our “privelidge” to destroy it either, even if it was headed that way. Even though it was a learned lesson in grade school, we should always think about how others will be effected by our actions.

    Post # 148
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee

    Yes I have been the other woman. Didn’t even know until the truth came out. He was a marine that went from base to base messing around with different women while his fiancée was overseas. He even has a dating profile.

     

    Post # 149
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Reading this thread is making me think of the movie “He’s just not that into you”… You’re not the exception, you’re the rule… And the rule is he will never leave his wife for you lol 

    Post # 150
    Member
    315 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yes I have been the other woman BUT I didn’t know it.  The guy was a dirty, rotten, lying scumbag!!!

    Post # 151
    Member
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve been the other woman 3 times.

     

    The 1st time was with an on again off again bf. We were on again and he had a gf I didn’tknow about, I honestly thought they were just friends. I ended that as soon as I found out. The crazy thing is that he “stalked” me for at least 10 years after. I eventually found out he married that same girl and they had a little boy together! Meanwhile he was telling me how much he wanted to b with me…

     

    The 2nd time, was a drunken one night stand, so I didn’t know until I facebook stalked him the next day. 

     

    The 3rd time is the time that does make me feel super guilty. I was the mistress for 4 months. I knew he was married, but there was just something about him and I just couldn’t say no. I never ever believed that he would leave his wife for me but I did hope that he would eventually leave her because he needed to. He did leave her for a bit, but went back. Honestly, besides FI, that was probably one of the best relationships of my life. We were literally on fire in every single way. 

     

    I do believe that people come into our lives for a reason. My affair with him taught me so much about myself and I know it may sound insane but has definitely helped me grow into the person I am today.

     

     

     

      

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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