(Closed) Spin off: have you ever been the "other woman?"

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever been the "other woman?"

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 152
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I answered yes, but I was about 18 or 19, and he had a gf, but no to engaged or married man. 

    Post # 153
    Member
    272 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    @FLBlonde93:  +1 I agree! 

    Post # 154
    Member
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Not sure if either of these count, because I was 14/15 and it was one kiss with each of these guys (neither of which were in serious relationships at the time, but they were in relationships nonetheless).

    My first kiss was with a guy who was in a relationship, but he lied and told me they’d broken up. We were like 14, and were drunk at a party, and then he told everyone I lied about it. Then about a year later he tried to kiss me again. Uhh, no dude.

    There was one other time, I was 15 and my Maid/Matron of Honor took me to the river to meet up with her then-boyfriend and one of his friends. Well, they were trying to set us up the whole day, and I kept saying no, he has a girlfriend blah, blah, blah. He led me to believe they were about to break up imminently, but I still didn’t really think that was ok. He ended up kissing me towards the end of the day though and I didn’t stop him, so I guess that one counts. 

    Also agree with  

    View original reply
    @MrsPanda99: IMO it’s not the other person’s fault. The person in the relationship is the one with the obligation to remain faithful. I think it’s just easier to take all your anger out on the stranger, who you often don’t know/have to see, than it is to take it out on someone you still love.

    Also, I’m the product of an affair (I think dad and his wife may have been separated at the time, but they’re still together now).

     

    Post # 155
    Member
    1877 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @Doodle411:  I thought of that movie too!

     

    View original reply
    @shaniqua:  Thank you!

     

    View original reply
    @Cory_loves_this_girl:  I am surprised as well by how close the numbers are. I think the poll needed a third category to separate those who knowingly cheated from those who were lied to.  To clump victims and facilitators into the same category makes everyone seem like a mistress, although some of these people had no idea the man was taken and dumped his loser behind the second they found out. 

     

    Post # 156
    Member
    7426 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    View original reply
    @FLBlonde93:  I agree. I don’t think it technically counts of they didn’t know they were the other woman.

    Post # 157
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    View original reply
    @Doodle411:  My husband left his wife of 20 years for me, so yes, it does happen.

    Post # 158
    Member
    1877 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @Cory_loves_this_girl:  Exactly- I just started a spin off poll because I am curious about that.

    Post # 159
    Member
    6739 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Once I messed around w/ a guy in a “serious” relationship.  We had dated for about 2 weeks and I really liked him, but something told me I couldn’t trust him and had to end it (even after only 2 weeks).  We stayed friends and he dated other girls (and cheated on each one, multiple times with different women).  One night we went out together and messed around (no sex). 

    I’m not saying I’m proud of it, but I also didn’t really feel bad about it and that may sound awful.  I figured he would cheat on her with me or another woman and I still had feelings for him, despite being unable to trust him and breaking it off before I thought I caught any feelings.  He was cheating not because of the women herself, but because that’s just who he was.  And they were only dating for a few months, so at the time (I was 19) I was like, “eh, not that serious of a relationship” and his track record was breaking up with a girl within about 3 months, so I figured the relationship was coming to an end soon anyway. 

    At about 6m into their relationship, he proposed.  Then, they broke up. 

    Much later, he ended up marrying this one girl and now they have a baby together.  I seriously hope that he’s found himself the one who made him change and keeps him from cheating.  But, IDK – he had serious committment issues in ALL aspects of his life – school, work, girls, where to live.  He does seem to have found direction and settled down, so I hope that has transpired to all aspects of his life. 

    Post # 160
    Member
    923 posts
    Busy bee

    I have been the other woman more than once, and I’ve never felt great about it but I’ve never felt terrible either. When I was younger I was much more concerned with only doing what I wanted and what made me feel good, which at the time was having relationships with whoever I wanted to, regardless of their relationship status. I also started seeing my Fiance while I was still in a relationship with my ex, and while I ended it very shortly after he did find out and I feel badly that I hurt him like that. 

    Post # 161
    Member
    6354 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @deetroitwhat:  yes, obviously it is possible that I can find myself accidentally in the company of a cheater. It’s just that where a lot of people go “oh, it’s not my business,” I disagree. The same way we wouldn’t react to finding out that a friend who’s a rapist is “not our business,” that’s how I react to finding out they’re cheating… the friendship is kaput.

    Post # 163
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    View original reply
    @jellybeangreen246:  Wow… Now that’s a love story for the kids. 

    Post # 164
    Member
    164 posts
    Blushing bee

    Yes. We were both married to other people at the time. One of our spouses found out 3 weeks into the affair. Within 6 months, I was divorced and he was separated. We’ve been together 3 years now. 

    Those 6 months were absolutely gut-wrenching and I hated being the other woman. However, I would do it again in a heartbeat because this relationship is 100x what I had with my ex-husband. 

    If my now SO and I had never met, I think we would both likely still be married and unhappy. 

    Post # 165
    Member
    91 posts
    Worker bee

    @MrsPanda99:  I’m with you, I’ve never understood why women want to kill the woman/man their man/woman is cheating with … but not the actual one doing the cheating. Makes crap sense to me.

    I have been the other woman… but they were mid-divorce and NOT together, so, dunno if it really counts.

    Post # 166
    Member
    91 posts
    Worker bee

    @MrsPanda99:  also; my brother and his wife were both the ‘other person’… and are now married with a child and full custody of his other child from his first marriage. It is what it is, you know?

    The topic ‘Spin off: have you ever been the "other woman?"’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors