(Closed) Spin off: have you ever been the "other woman?"

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever been the "other woman?"

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 17
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

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    @VegasSukie:  That was complete sarcasm.

    Post # 18
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Before I met my SO yes…I was under the impression the guy was separated though…lying piece of sh*t

    Post # 20
    Member
    3038 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MrsPanda99: I meet my Fiance when he was still in a long term relationship. We feel in love, he was going to break up with her and right before he was going to tell her she had an accident – it was all horrid. For 6 months he stayed with her, as she wasn’t capable of even putting on her clothes. It was one of the most difficult times in my life. Part of me wanted to run for the woods, then it was the part that loved him more than I thought possible, the little evil voice that wanted to hate her, and the other voice that was telling me he was doing the right thing looking out for her when she needed him…

    Eventually, she got to a point where she was more functional and he broke up with her. They remained friends, but for about 2 years she hated me intensely, which I can understand – but it was difficult regardless.

    About three years ago (Fi and I have been together for 5 years) we ended up being at the same party as her, I walked up and apologized for causing her so much pain – she accepted it and things did a 180 degree turn. She was the first one that showed up with a wedding gift, she’s invited to the wedding and I bake cookies for her elderly mother each holiday. It took a long time, but everything turned out to the best! If people want to judge me based on how it all started, fine – that’s up to them. I just followed my heart and consciousness the best I could.

    Post # 21
    Member
    838 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

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    @Birdee106:  No it wouldn’t, I hate to be crude, but that just means you have an expiration date too. As my dad used to say… what he’ll do WITH you, he’ll do TO you.

     

    My brother’s favorite saying: If you started out as the side piece and become the front piece, just remember your #2 position just became available.

    Post # 22
    Member
    823 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  I have been and I really, truly struggled with it. It was with my “first love,” and we were on and off for three years and it was completely toxic all around. We’d dated and broke up, and after he had found another girlfriend, came crawling back and saying how he missed me and had to have me, blah blah. The girlfriend was long distance and I kept telling him that if anything was going to happen between us, he needed to break up with her because I couldn’t do that to another woman. We never did anything but kiss and some heavy petting while he was with her but I still felt awful. Eventually he ended it with her and we continued on our downward spiral. End of the story is, he was a big player with huge commitment issues who had no problem pretending to be in love while stringing along as many women as possible. And of course, like all young girls do, I thought I was “different” and that I could be the one he changed for LOL. 

     

    That being said, I did feel awful for what I did, and am now very happy with my Fiance. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    It’s complicated, but yes.  My HS BF and I broke up in college, and we were still ‘friends’.  I’d still sleep with him every once in a while, and it was casual.  He was seriously dating someone, and I didn’t know about it.  Once I found out, I still slept with him a few times.  I felt wrong about it and stopped it. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

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    @DJones69:  Yeah….no.

    My husband is a completely different man today then he was five years ago. You don’t know him, don’t make accusations.

    But thanks for the comment, super helpful….

    Post # 25
    Member
    4522 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

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    @MrsPanda99:  I agree, and I think people should be very careful to find out both sides of an accusation made my someone who feels scorned: there is a girl my BF was seeing CASUALLY and not officially or exclusively that he broke things off with a few weeks to a month before we started dating. I had absolutely NOTHING to do with that decision, as we were just friends at that point. 

    *To this DAY* she is convinced I’M the reason he didnt want to see her anymore, and will tell ANYONE who will listen that they were in a serious relationship and he “cheated on” her. There is absolutely no truth to it whatsoever.

    Post # 27
    Member
    7768 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No one is perfect, but I have my limits.  I would never get involved with someone who was involved with someone else, especially not a married man.

    Post # 30
    Member
    3571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    When me and my DH first started hanging out he had a girlfriend and I had a LDR with a boyfriend. For a few weeks we hung out with each other, while still being in other relationships. So I guess I was sort of the other woman.. and boy did she hate me!! I can’t blame her.. but we’re married now, so it was obviously meant to be between us. We ended our other relationships a few weeks into hanging out with each, and that was almost 7 years ago & we’re still happy as can be!

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