Post # 1
Just saw another post on this topic and it is something I’ve been wrestling with since I first got engaged. I had pretty much come to the decision that I wouldn’t invite coworkers, but just found out that my boss is throwing a wedding shower for me at work….and now I kinda feel like maybe I should? Anyways, I’m sure I’m not the only person who has struggled through this dilemma, so I wanted to set up a poll…let me know what you did/plan to do as far as coworkers. (And tell us in the comments any additional advice/rules of thumb you may have!)
Post # 2
I’m having the same issue so I’m hoping you get some good responses. We are having a small wedding – just family and close friends. I’m fairly close with a few of my coworkers, but if I invite them, then I would have to invite my boss and a few others who would expect an invite. I think it is safest to invite none of my coworkers, but I feel bad.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t (and didn’t) invite coworkers. They threw a little cake/ coffee gathering to celebrate my upcoming wedding but, it didn’t make me feel obligated to let my personal life and my professional life intertwine.
Post # 4
I don’t think the work shower means you have to invite your colleagues. Many workplacs have showers with no expectation of a wedding invitation.
I am in the camp of not inviting a co-worker unless I also have a social relationship with them outside of work (and that doesn’t include going for lunch on workdays or drinks after work on Fridays).
Post # 5
I did not invite any current co-workers. A couple of girls from my first job are invited. By now we have all left that company but stayed in touch and I consider them more than work friends (clearly, since we no longer work together, hah). I will not be inviting anyone I currently work with. I like to keep my professional life, and personal life, separate.
Post # 6
A work shower is the one type of shower where it’s totally acceptable to not invite the attendees. I am inviting one person from work, but I know her in a different capacity and actually don’t cross paths with her at all at work. I think there is zero obligation to invite work people. Also consider your professional image – do you want your boss or direct coworkers to see you really emotional on your wedding day? Or drunk? Or just how you are with your family and friends when you don’t have your work hat on? Some people are fine with that, but I prefer to keep that separate.
Post # 7
We are just inviting his boss and a couple of his work friends, he wanted to invited his whole department but I didnt want to have to interact with the wife of one of his coworkers so that was nixed. Since then a bunch of people were laid off or quit for other jobs so we made the best decision after all. It can get awkward when there is massive turnover but you have already invited people.
Post # 8
I invited the coworkers I like and have or have had a relationship with outside of work. In my department I invited 2 out of 6 colleagues. I invited 2 more from other departments too.
i don’t see why coworkers should have separate rules for invitations as folks outside of work. You just invite who you want and don’t invite who you don’t want. Furthermore, my wedding is none of any of my coworkers’ business.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
When I got married, I was a co-supervisor of about 30 people, most of which I thoroughly enjoyed working with & had drinks with after work, but it’s obviously unreasonable to invite all of them. I ended up inviting the other supervisor I worked directly with, as well as my manager. No feelings were hurt (to my knowledge) & they even took me out one night osrt of like a pre-bachelorette haha.
I no longer work there though & only talk to maybe a handful of people so I feel like I made the right decision.
Post # 10
I invited the co-workers I was friends with, meaning I had a relationship with them outside of the office.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2015 - City Winery New York, NY
I was in a weird situation where I changed jobs. I’d been at my old job for 4 years, so they all knew my husband and were there when he popped the question. Then I switched jobs about six months before the wedding.
I ended up sending invites to my old co-workers who I worked most closely with. I didn’t invite any of my new co-workers (even though the did throw me a very nice shower) because I simply didn’t know them as well.
For what it is worth no one’s feelings were hurt and my old co-workers were happy to attend.
Post # 12
I am having some of the same issues. We are trying to keep our wedding small with mostly family and only a few friends. I have worked at a college for nearly 2 years. My department mentioned throwing a shower- which will most likely be a campus-wide invite.
In my building, there are about 15 people, but I only work really closely with 3 of them. It’s actually two different departments in one building. But of the 3, one of them is my supervisor & the other 2 are helping with aspects of the wedding.
One of the girls in the other department got married last weekend and invited the whole building. She is a few years older than me and we went to school together, but we’ve never had anything to do with each other. I don’t feel like I would have gotten invited if we didn’t work together now, so I didn’t go to the wedding.
I was planning to only invite the 3 that I work closely with to the wedding, but I wouldn’t want the others to get offended that I didn’t ask them. I just don’t work as closely with them and don’t have the same kind of relationship that I have with the other 3. I have done things outside of work with the two who are helping with the wedding. We have to travel some for work, so I have traveled with all 3 of them at some point, but I haven’t done anything with my supervisor other than that.
Fiance is inviting his boss and a few others that he’s been working closely with for the last 4 years.
Post # 13
My work threw me a shower, but they do that for everyone getting married or having a baby. No obligation. The only co-workers I invited were the ones I talk to and hang out with outside of work.
Post # 14
I’m a teacher at a really big school, so I just invited the other teachers that I eat lunch with, and that’s it. The advantage in working in a really big place, instead of a small office, is that there are hundreds of employees and no one is offended to not be invited since they don’t feel singled out. It is different from working in a small or medium-sized office where there’s like fifteen people and you invite five, and then you left only ten people out.
Post # 15
I am only inviting coworkers who I am friends with outside of work.