Spin off: no children/kids weddings

posted 1 month ago in The Lounge
Post # 61
Member
6945 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

tiffanybruiser :  Trust me, I’ve had plenty of things I’ve struggled with as a mom. I’m not educating anyone. I had a baby who went on a full nursing strike after only 3 weeks and had to exclusively pump for 4+ months because he refused to nurse. It broke my heart and made me feel like a failure. I could have just given up and switched to formula but I made the choice to start pumping because feeding breastmilk was important to me. Being chained to my pump every 2-3 hours made me turn down a lot of things but I didn’t expect anyone to change their plans because I made the choice to commit to pumping. 

I did eventually get my baby back to breast and it was very very hard. I don’t say that as a pat on the back. I say that because every mom has some kind of struggle. I just firmly believe that my choice to become a parent, and parent how I see best, means I have to take what comes my way and I don’t expect people to make an exception for me because I have a baby, or was nursing, or pumping around the clock, etc. 

 I’m NOT saying I think parents expect the world to revolve around them but I just get annoyed constantly reading the same tired complaint about why kids aren’t invited to weddings. Especially hearing when people think that all weddings should be “family events” and include kids. Everyone has a different definition of family and couples should be entitled to host the kind of wedding they want. Provided they are hosting their guests properly once in attendance the guest list should be complete at their discretion. I also think it’s ridiculous for couples to get offended when people decline, for any reason. A wedding invitation is just that, an invitation. It’s not a summons.  

Post # 62
Member
882 posts
Busy bee

Twizbe :  You are REALLY reading into this comment. I’m sorry if you have anxiety about it but Starfish was pretty specific that there was no judgement and at this point you are just seeing what you want to see and arguing about something that doesn’t exist. 

Post # 63
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not the only one who saw a judge tone to the original post.

strawberrysakura :  

Post # 64
Member
882 posts
Busy bee

Twizbe :  There was no judgement, she wasn’t trying to educate anyone, she was telling her experience and stating VERY clearly that she wasn’t judging anyone’s circumstances. You made it all about you and your anxieties. I’m sorry that you are anxious about it, I get that it sucks, but you jumped all over her and there was nothing there to be offended about except in your own mind. Strangers on the internet are not required to know your intimate struggles and phrase every sentence perfectly. And then this stranger was required to make several more posts trying to tell you what I’m telling you – she wasn’t trying to offend anyone, she wasn’t judging anyone, she has struggles too – which you aren’t accepting because this isn’t about her and anything she wrote, this is about you and your feelings. 

Post # 65
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Edited: if you read, my first response was more of a musing on how that attitude of ‘you make your choice’ fed into my anxiety. To her response I said how her post could read. Another person told her she was educating. I also said whether she meant to or not, not an assumption that she did. I also then change the subject. She was responding another poster with her story not me. I have let it lie now. But you’ve jumped on me and been rude and spoken down to me. strawberrysakura :  

Post # 66
Member
7862 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I generally agree with all this and have no issue with kid free weddings as long as the hosts are understanding that people with kids may have to decline. It was just your wording about how you deliberately introduced the bottle early like that’s a fail safe way to avoid bottle issues that I disagreed with. starfish0116 :  

Post # 67
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We went to so many weddings where kids caused disruption.  Running around, tantrums,  spilling wine on guests and then flower girl refusing to walk down aisle. Hey i was a kid once and I was a terrible guest and the same with Darling Husband. He apparently spilt wine as a pageboy on someone. 

Our wedding was a formal event and we chose not to have them. It did ruffle one person’s feathers though.  My sister has three out of control kids and she thinks they’re invited to everything.  End of the day, it’s our day and you bet if there were any grandkids when she got married, she wouldn’t have invited them.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors