(Closed) *Spin Off* "Older" (>26) bees- do you think it's harder to combine finances?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 16
Hostess
4577 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I didn’t know I was considered an older bee at 27 (I’m the first of my professional friends to get married!) but we have joint accounts where we have most all of our money, and keep our separate accounts for personal purchases. We have our own CCs and haven’t talked about what we’ll do after we get married; I imagine we’ll just keep them separate. I manage our finances and pay off each of our CCs and his student loans with joint money, so I don’t think it really matters too much. We discuss our priorities together (slowly pay off his grad loans + save aggressively for a house) and I handle everything based on our discussions. I do have separate brokerage accounts that my parents have been putting money into since I was young and my own 401k.

We’ve been together since we were 18 and have built our entire adult lives together. College, his masters, my law degree, long distance, changing jobs and even careers. Maybe that’s why were comfortable having basically everything together. We agree that I’m better with money, so I manage it, and though I’m the breadwinner, I consider it all our money.

Post # 17
Member
9833 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It wasn’t an issue for us at all.

Post # 18
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

29/37 and we’ve combined everything without any problems. We’re a team and we agree on budgets for personal spending.

Post # 19
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

We are 27/28 and will not combine finances at all. We live together right now, but just pay each other with a Venmo style app for our 50 percent of all bills. I had a joint account with my ex and it just resulted in a lot of “You spend $150 on what???” discussions.

We also make the same amount. Maybe in a situation where he made $$$$$ or I made $$$$$ and the other person didn’t, then we’d be more open to it. 

Post # 20
Member
5082 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

We were 26/31 when we got married and didn’t have any problem combining accounts.

Post # 21
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

View original reply
heputaringonit:  We’re both 34 and we still have no joint accounts after 1 yr of marriage, haha.

It’s just more convenient since a) some of our separate accounts provide different financial benefits, b) since we got engaged, the natural financial order has been for him to pay almost all the living expenses, c) we’re financially comfortable enough where we don’t need to adhere to a strict budget where a joint account might be good for tracking bills, spending, etc.

We did get a joint credit card that’s linked to my DH’s checking account and he tells me to use it so we can get the reward benefits. But it feels too weird! Like the living expenses cover both of us, but for some things like say my personal shopping or an annual registration fee for my profession, I prefer to use my own cards and pay the bills from my checking account.

Post # 22
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

To put everything as joint?  Yes, because I had accounts that I couldn’t legally do so with as does DH that most young people either don’t have or just started.

In terms of viewing our money as joint though, no.  I actually found it easier to be more trusting due to seeing how DH handled money when making a decent salary.  It’s one thing for a student to not spend on luxuries to stay out of debt, it’s another thing to actually be saving a significant portion when there is money that could spent for fun.

If I were much older I could see this being more of an issue.

Post # 23
Member
4888 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
heputaringonit:  I am 35 and DH is 37… we’ve been married for almost a year and a half now.

Our finances are still seperate. I have my own checking and savings accounts. Dh has his own checking account. He also has an online savings account that we do put money into that can be used for things we buy together (like a new mattress, some furniture, a trip, etc). My name is not on there, but we consider it somewhat joint. This works for us now.

In the future – especially when we have kids – we will probably combine something for bills. Right now, we split everything in half and just take turns buying stuff – like TP, paper towels, etc. When we go tout to eat, we take turns paying. At the end of the month, he always gives me a “bill” to pay, which includes our split bills and anything else (that may be added subtracted).

I pay my own credit card bills, as some stuff is extra that I don’t feel he should pay for. The same with him. I do give him about $160 a month for his car payment, as it’s the main vehicle we take.

Post # 24
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
heputaringonit:  we are 29. I’m of the mindset that we should have a joint account and then separate small accounts for personal needs. I’m used to controlling my own finances and joining everything makes me feel weird, I don’t know why. However, Fiance is of the mindset that we should put it all together and just have one account with our separate credit cards. We haven’t completely decided yet though! 

Post # 25
Member
5940 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
heputaringonit:  I’m waaay older. For the first year or so we kept it all separate, but it was a pain. So fairly recently we combined everything. But we do still each have our own little savings accounts. Maybe so we each have a tiny taste of independence?? Not really sure why.

Post # 26
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I will be 28 and Fiance 29 when we get married. We plan on keeping our separate accounts and starting one joint account for bills and joint purchases like groceries 🙂 for the same reasons other bees posted. He has been financially independent, as have I, for a while now. No reason to stop that. 

Post # 27
Member
2194 posts
Buzzing bee

I am 34 and he is 35.  We are just going to combine to a joint checking and savings account when we get married but we have similar incomes and neither of us have any particular spendy hobbies or habits.  I do think its a bit more difficult because we are older and are not used to sharing accounts but we agreed that it was important to both of us because we both grew up with our parents sharing finances and we both see it as part of our becoming a family. 

What has helped though is talking about finances now over the months of our engagement.  I discussed my student loans, we talked about our salaries, retirement, savings.  We then progressed to talking about wedding budget, vacations, bills and from there started talking about joint accounts. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  Scarlett11.
Post # 28
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

We are 27 and 30 and got a joint account late last year when we bought a house together. The joint account is for Mortgage, bills and money for if something goes wrong. We have our own acccounts for fun money, our bills we don’t have jointly, savings and CC’s. I have been added to his credit card though because his is a points card and we try to put big purchases on it for points for our homeymoon!

 Up until recently I owed the house we were living in and owned it before we were together so everything was in my name and we would just settle up at the ebd of the month.

Post # 29
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I’m 34, BF and I have cohabited for 7 years (together for 9) and we haven’t merged finances. We were established in our careers when we met, each have our own car, property, etc, and he has significant wealth. We talked about setting up a joint account shortly after moving in, but we’ve become comfortable with the status quo and making progress toward engagement or joint finances is now at a standstill.  We’ve consulted an estate attorney and a couple’s counselor for ideas on how to move forward, and in both cases it was delicately suggested that we should end the relationship. :/ We love each other and I hope there is some way to accomplish our financial and life goals together, but it seems we’ll need to blaze our own trail somehow.

Post # 30
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

I’m 26 and DH is 35. We married a few months back at 25&35, and we have no plans to combine finances at all. We both prefer to have our own accounts. We pay our own personal bills and each pay certain “shared” bills, such as mortgage and utilities. Ex: DH pays mortgage, I pay electric and water, etc. 

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