(Closed) *Spin Off* "Older" (>26) bees- do you think it's harder to combine finances?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 31
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’re in our early 30s, married for about a year. We have combined our current finances, but we both still have our old individual bank accounts sitting dormant. There was little to gain from consolidating the historical stuff. 

Post # 32
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m 34 and H is 30. We’ve always kept separate accts. We have a joint savings though.

We both lived on our own for years before moving in together and we actually detest each others pending habits (as weird as that sounds) lol. He’ll spend 100 a week at the convenience store on random junk and well.. I shop a good amount. We pay bills out of my acct (he transfers the money to be) and then put our savings in a joint savings.

This avoids issues with me not agreeing with his pending and vice versa. It keeps a bit of autonomy as well as avoids conflict!

Post # 33
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

As of  now all our money will be kept seperate & we will shares the bills. Im the more responsible one so I will probably be paying them out of my account & then he will give me his half or we will decide who pays what bill. Once we are married a while we may or may not have a joint account but will still always have seperate ones. So when I buy my skin care or he buys a game its mine/his money & not our money. 

Post # 34
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

Im 28 and Fiance is about to be 31. He is way more established at his job and has been there for 8 years and I’m just getting settled into a new sales career, so he makes more. We have seperate accounts and just yesterday opened a joint checking account together which we will put any engagement money, change jar money, and matched savings (we try to do 30 a week). This account is just for fun really, we are planning to use it as money for wedding extras. He owns the house and had it before we met, so he takes care of the mortgage and other things. I’m just responsible for the utilities, my car & insurance payments, basically I just have to take care of myself and my expenses. We have decided not to combine accounts and will rethink when kids are in the picture. Some people have voiced the opinion that it is weird that we are waiting to do that etc etc but I just feel its unnecessary – we are both savers and are good with money, I don’t need to know how much he spends on movies, going out, gambling, etc etc just like he doesn’t need to know how much I spend on make-up, clothes, and other things. 

Post # 35
Member
3310 posts
Sugar bee

When we got engaged we went and opened two joint accounts – One ‘everyday’ account which wages go into, and one ‘savings’ account for emergency ‘out of work’ money and money for our future house! We also have our own seperate accounts, I transfer play money into those every week.

We didn’t find it hard at all to combine finances, even at 30 and 31. We are both 100% in the mindset of ‘what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours’.

Post # 36
Member
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I was 28 and DH was 33 when we were married – zero issues combining our finances. 

Post # 37
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We got married at 34 and 35, and we combined almost everything.  For us, it wasn’t difficult at all (we both had ING/Capitol One accounts) and it took about 2 minutes to combine those online.  Also, I grew up with my parents saying that you have to go all in on finances… that if you don’t, you both seem to have one foot out the door.  I personally don’t have an issue with people not combining, but that did get in my head after hearing it for years.

The one thing that we do separately is spending money- we each get an “allowance” that comes out of our joint account and to our own.  This idea has really helped to avoid fights over money.  As someone who was on my own for a while, having my own spending money does feel essential since for so long it was all my money to spend as I wished  

Post # 38
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

OH and I are 28 (well he’s 28 next week). We were 27 when we moved in together.

We have a joint account (which we pay the same amount into each month for rent and bills) as well as retaining our individual accounts. I can’t think that even when we are married we’d get rid of our individual accounts?

My parents have been married over 30 years (although they’ve begun the process of divorcing) and still have individual bank accounts/credit cards as well as some joint accounts.

ETA – for those who combined absolutely everything… I have a car, OH doesn’t drive. I have a horse, OH doesn’t ride. Should his salary contribute to these?

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Profile Photo BeeDD.
Post # 39
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
heputaringonit:  We’re 28 (me) and 27 (him) and the plan is to keep our individual checking & savings accounts as we currently have them, but also open a joint checking account for things like shared bills (rent, electric, groceries, etc), and just contribute into it from our paychecks.

Post # 40
Member
469 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
heputaringonit:  

I’m 30. Fiance is 35. I was single for 10 years and really thought it would be tough for me to combine, but honestly, I was so excited (we just combined two weeks ago). No more worrying who was up or down on groceries, etc.

We did open separate checking accounts for stuff we don’t want to have to consult one another about – video games (him) and manis/pedis (me) and gifts. We’ll see how it works, but so far, I’m loving it.

Post # 41
Member
1451 posts
Bumble bee

DH and I were 27 when we got married and combined everything.  When you get married it is no longer yours or mine everything is “ours”.  We have one checking account and multiple savings accounts.  I started paying on his debt once we got married (I didn’t have any debt) and we finished with that debt 2 years ago.  IMO if you don’t combined finances it’s like saying to your spouse “I don’t trust you and we aren’t on the same page financially”. 

Post # 42
Member
961 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - San Clemente Church, Italy

I’m not stating my age since 26 is considered “older”…on that scale I’m “older than dirt”…lol. My husband and I just got married and we have separate finances. We are both middle aged and came into the marriage with significant assets (his are still astoundingly more than mine though…lol).

He has always insisted on paying for everything (Bills, mortgage, etc) because the role of “provider” is important to him. I still pay to maintain the condos I own and the HOA fees for them, my car insurance etc., all the bills I paid prior to marriage at my insistence. And I spoil him with things he would never buy for himself.

I don’t see any point in combining finances since he won’t let me put anything in, it would be more akin to just giving me “unfettered access” to his money and I’m just not comfortable with that yet. I’m used to making my own way and this whole idea of keeping all my assets, income and investments intact while we use his money feels very sweet, but strange.

He wants me to just “do what makes me happy” and representing criminals and people who fall out of love in court became soul-sucking after 20 years. So here I am…trying to figure it out

View original reply
alamana:  

Post # 43
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

We have our own personal accounts and a joint account for bills etc. We both transfer money each month to cover the bills. 

 

Post # 44
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m 30 and my boyfriend is 34 and we just moved in together.  Our plan is to get a joint account for things like rent, groceries and utilities and keep our separate accounts for our hobbies (he likes to golf = $$$).  We will probably combine things like our cell phone plans once we’re married.  We have both lived with boyfriends/girlfriends previously and that’s how we both handled things so it was not a big deal at all to do it this way.

Post # 45
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m 34, fi is 32.  We will probably mostly combine finances but each keep our own “fun money” accounts.  He spends almost nothing on himself. I treat myself regularly.  I think it will be ok because we have set expectations of savings, etc. and we both know that covering expenses and meeting savings goals is the highest priority. I CAN live on a shoestring budget, I just choose to no longer do so 🙂

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