*Spin Off* "Older" (>26) bees- do you think it's harder to combine finances?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 46
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

Just saw my age next to the word “older” and cried on the inside. We have a joint account for bills, groceries, etc., as well as a joint savings. Most of our left over money goes to savings and whatever’s left is separate to spend how we like. 

Post # 47
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Fiance is turning 34 in May and I turned 30 in Dec. I was pretty adament that we have separate accounts. He comes from a traditional background and always thought he’d have a combined bank account situation, but he’s accepted our arrangement. 

We do have a joint account that we opened to satisfy domestic partnership requirements before we were engaged, but we don’t really use it much right now. Perhaps we will when we buy our next home.

Post # 50
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - San Clemente Church, Italy

heputaringonit:  Lol, girl, you are right! I don’t mind being old…as long as I don’t look it.

Post # 52
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

When we moved in together both about 25-26(before engagement) we set up a joint account for household expenses (rent, utilities)and contributed the same amount, with the rest going to our individual accounts and we continued to pay our credit cards, car payment, etc separatel from our individual accounts. After our engagement, we modified it such that we each get an “allowance” per pay period in our individual accounts to spend on whatever no questions asked whereas the rest of our pay checks are deposited in the joint account and the rest of expenses are completely merged. We also discussed how much we would contribute to savings, repayment of loans etc.  We both are very financially responsible and also have very similar salaries and little debt so it was very easy for us to merge but I can definitely see how it’s weird to be completely independent financially and then have to answer for your spending and such. That’s why we opted to give ourselves that “allowance” in individual accounts. 

Post # 54
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Fiance and I initially opened a joint account and each contributed a certain amount each month when we moved in together to cover rent/utilities (27/31 at the time). We also opened a joint credit card. This ended up being a pain in the butt, and not really working for us. I would occasionally have to say “oh babe, you owe more money for groceries,” or “gas was $___ this month, can you deposit $___ more?” We recently combined finances and established a budget which gives us each some spending cash, takes care of bills, and allows us to put money in savings. I had significantly more money in savings, which has been difficult for me to completely feel “what’s mine is yours,” but I’m working on it. Things have been so much easier since we’ve combined finances since theres more transparency. Plus, when we have kids, I just think it would be too tricky to keep things separate. BUT that’s just us, every couple does things differently, so whatever works for you two!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  mrsatoz.
Post # 55
Member
4031 posts
Honey bee

We have been together as a couple since high school, but we didn’t get married until I was 25 and Darling Husband was 27. Three years later, we still have separate finances. More because of convenience and not wanting to put in the effort to open new accounts. However, we treat everything as “our” money and we budget/plan our finances together.

Post # 56
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

We combined finances when we bought a house. I think it is really hard to not do that without resentment. We have our own individual accounts additionally but there’s no “mine and yours”.  I had to give up my well paying job to move with my partner so that’s when we truly stopped caring about who paid for what.

 

Edit: we are early 30s

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  ely16.
Post # 57
Member
3069 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

heputaringonit:  YES! We havent combined finances and we’ve been married for nearly 2 years. The only thing we have done is get a joint cc that we both pay off for daily expenses.

vintagekitten:  same here, we lived together for years before marriage and have our system down. why fix what isn’t broken lol. 

EDIT: for some info, I am 27 and he is 31. I am responsible for my student loans, all of our savings, gas, my car insurance ( we really need to combine polices, havent done it yet ugh), and our cell phone bill and I also paid for our vacation this year.  He pays for the mortgage, water, home and his car insurance, he is paying for school right now for himself.

We put day to day expenses ( groceries, gas, dining out, clothes ect) on a joint card that each week we just pay off  ( we get paid opposite weeks) It works for us.

 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  Boxerlover24.
Post # 58
Member
9642 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m 27 and Fiance is about to turn 31.. we’re joining our accounts but we’ve been together since we were both in grad school (I’m just wrapping up now) making nothing, so perhaps its easier for us to imagine that everything we have is “ours”

Post # 59
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

Hi, My Fiance and I are both 29 and we do it exactly the same as you. It works fantastically.

Post # 60
Member
1436 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m 31 and Fiance is 35 and we haven’t combined finances and we’re not planning to for the time being because I am saving from my salary for a deposit for an apartment and Fiance still has school debt and so we’re planning for mortgage to be in my name solely. Maybe afterwards, we’ll review it.

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