(Closed) Spin off Post: 5 things you learned while planning your wedding!

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

1. Sometimes the people that you think should know what they are doing when planning a wedding (i.e. parents, vendors) DON’T! Listen to yourself!!  Along with that, if you don’t trust a vendor or get a bad feeling, run the other direction! FAST!

2. Don’t register too early. That can call for even more registry changes later on.

3. Deciding the guest list can be really difficult, possibly the hardest part of the wedding planning. In regards to guests, you will find out who your true friends are once it’s all said and done.

4. The day probably isn’t going to be as perfect as you wish but it will still be awesome even if it’s not πŸ™‚

5. I always thought I’d be really, really sad once the wedding was over but I’m actually really, REALLY happy to start my life with the man of my dreams!!!

Post # 5
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

1. Pick your battles. I put my foot down about important things like the ceremony but if your Darling Husband or mom wants something really cheesy and its not going to kill anyone let it go.

2. Hire professionals you can trust and then listen to them. If your caterer says something won’t be yummy when cooked for 100+ people take it off the menu. If your florist says a certain flower isn’t hardy enough for your bouquet don’t insist on it.

3. Do not let (well-meaning) people bully you into decisions when you’re not ready. The first day I went dress shopping my mom tried to get me to buy a dress but I wasn’t ready. I found my dress about 50 dresses later when shopping without her.

4. Not everyone is going to live up to your expectations. Unless they absolutely ruin your day try to let it go. Holding grudges over harmless drunken behavior or missing cards is not worth it.

5. The best part of your wedding will be spending it with your husband(!) and the people who love you.

Post # 6
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Well, I hope it’s okay that I haven’t planned my wedding, but I’ve recently been the Maid/Matron of Honor for both my sister and my best friend and I think a learned some things that I’m excited to use for my own wedding. Now of course, these are just things I learned for myself, personally…certainly not suited to every situation! 

1. Both my sister and best friend had matching bridesmaids dressed. It worked out in the end, but I think the experience was enough to convince me to never ask my friends to all wear the exact same dress. Both bridal parties were so varied that at least one person was always bound to look awful in the chosen dress. That person was usually me, haha! 


2. A personal ceremony in the most wonderful touch any wedding can have. It makes the guests feeling connected to the entire wedding. My sister’s ceremony was so personalized (one of her close friends officiated and he knew the couple very well) and that ended up being my favorite part of the wedding. Just beautiful. 


3. No one will notice the tiny mistakes. My sister’s wedding cake accidentally came out orange and yellow (to a black/white/green wedding) after a mix up at the bakery. No one cared–least of all the bride, who was having a fabulous time. In the end, it was the happiest day of her life, regardless of a mismatched cake πŸ™‚ 


4. I learned that I personally love plated dinners. I always thought I wanted a buffet, but after being to both, I really enjoyed the stress-free nature of having food brought to me. Plus the food just looked so nice on the plate. My own wedding will be huge though, so I’m not sure this will be the right choice for me then πŸ™‚ 


5. As long as you’re realistic and respectful, it’s totally fair to expect a drama free wedding party. As a Maid/Matron of Honor, I can tell you it’s not THAT hard to #1 listen and be excited for someone that you love #2 participate in planning and #3 forget about your needs for ONE day. Pick people who truly love and support you to stand next to you….they will be overjoyed to help πŸ™‚ 

Post # 8
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Great thread!!

1. Vendors are a pain to get a hold of, especially after they have your deposit. 

2. Hiring a planner was the best decision ever. I’ve been able to pass along the unresponsive vendors and we’re much happier. . 

3. Your wedding is most important to you and your Fiance. No your bridal party will not ever care as much as you that you chose pink anemones because they look pretty with their gowns. 

4. The person with the purse strings has first say in decisions. My Future Mother-In-Law wants to throw a super casual rehearsal dinner. Am I annoyed? Yes. Does it matter that I am? No. 

5. Friendors are a very bad idea if you cherish their friendship. The one really stressful element in our wedding involves the friendor and the savings aren’t worth the hassle. 

Post # 9
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

1.  Liking your vendors (as people) is important.  Take care with interviewing them, go with your gut instincts.

2.  Your bridal party has lives outside of your wedding.  Remember to ask them how they are doing from time to time, and not to talk about your wedding as much as you want to (save it for weddingbee!).

Things i’ve learned about myself:

3.  I don’t deal with pressure well. πŸ˜›

4.  DH is my rock.  He holds me together in stressful situations.

5.  I love my family to death!

Haha.  Not sure I went about this the right way, but I went with my first instincts!

Post # 10
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@pengoala: Totally agree about liking your vendors. Darling Husband was in a wedding where the photographer was a giant b*tch (and crazy talented) and there was no way he was going to hire someone so unlikeable for our wedding.

Post # 12
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@pengoala: haha, I agree about not monopolizing every conversation with wedding talk. That’s why I came here too. 

@MrsNeutrino: Isn’t it grand? Lol. Worrying about cake flavors is so much better than panicking about florists or caterers. 

Post # 13
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

– You can’t make everyone happy. Someone is going to want this while another will want that. Make you & your groom happy. That is what really matters.

– Even if you have a small wedding the planning can still be stressful.

– The ceremony is what is important. The reception after is just to celebrate the love between you & your groom. It does not have to be perfect or expensive to make it what its suppose to be.

– Don’t be so nervous about messing up your words, ect. If you do something wrong people will laugh WITH you not at you. πŸ™‚

– & Even though there is so much hype over the dress, rings, decorations, cake, ect. At the end of the day everyone you are close to & love is there for one reason & one reason only. To see you & the love of your life wed!

Post # 14
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oooh I like this thread! I think I’ve narrowed down my wedding self discoveries!

1. I’ve learned what my general style is and the aesthetic that I like:  Feminine classic and French country!

2. Etiquette is super important to me! I did NOT know that about myself!

3. How amazingly lucky I am to have such amazing friends (my bridesmaids), a man who loves me, and a psychologist for a mother!


Post # 15
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

1. You need to find time to focus on what the wedding is really about (commitment and love with FI) to avoid getting too distracted by all the superficial details.

2. It’s important to be kind to all vendors, friends, family, etc…but you must ALSO be assertive and firm. It’s easy to get pushed around/guilted/etc when you are trying to accomodate people.

3.After initial enthusiasm over potential “extras” focus on what is truly worth the money and time. I’m all for special details, but for a while I was considering doing 2 favors…then realized it was not worth the $ or time.

4. LISTS LISTS and MORE LISTS- being organized keeps you sane.

5. This is a little similar to #1, but make time with Fiance where you aren’y NOT discussing ANYTHING about the wedding. Sometimes wedding talk can take over your life …who wants to have stressful conversations with their loved one all the time?

Post # 16
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

1.Before you spend money, ask yourself if it’s something you’ll remember/care about a year from now.

2. No one will be as excited about your wedding as you are. Probably not even your fiance.

3. Your bridesmaids have lives outside of your wedding.Remember to ask them about it.

4. Have clear boundaries with in laws/your parents.

5. You don’t need to do something just because it’s tradition. Only do things that have meaning for you.

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