I am an Encore Bride…
Both times my Fiance and I shopped together for the ring … mostly because I am in the camp that says
Just like not every shirt / skirt / pair of pants out there looks good on every woman… the same is true for jewellery / rings
Everyone has different sized fingers & hands… and a sense of style.
Example, my fingers are short and stubby (almost kids hands)… and I am hard on my jewellery… so I needed a ring that was substantial enough to take some abuse (no high delicate settings for me) BUT at the same time, it couldn’t be so substantial to make my hands look like they belonged on a man… (in so much as Men’s Bands are usually quite wide etc)
It is a delicate balance for sure
(And one that many women have… be it cause their fingers are long, or skinny, or their jobs dictate what they can or cannot manage comfortably etc)
Then you add in the fact that the woman is going to wear this ring, and love this ring for a very very long time…
That alone is a BIG DEAL
I mean seriously… it might be a Gift, but it has to be something that fits her style in sooo many ways
Think of it this way… You gal goes out and buys something for you to wear. Fabulous. But now add in the fact that it is the ONLY SHIRT you can wear for the next 10, 20, 30, 40 + years…
How do you feel about her picking it out for you without any input from you now ?
Could it pass the test of time… and comfort for you without your having some input ?
Oh ya, plus it is a shirt she is going to spend ooooodles of money on… be the most expensive shirt in your wardrobe…
And come with all sorts of emotional expectations attached to it… you dare not tell her that it is itchy ???
I say it all the time here on WBee…
Ladies go try rings on… try lots of rings on… cause the one you see in a picture, might not suit you at all.
Better yet, take your guy with you, cause this is a BIG DEAL for him too… he needs to have input and give you an idea of what he likes as well… and if he feels comfy about… tell you honestly what he can afford etc.
The ERing is the launch to a life together. A life you share. The Ring represents that including the fact that money is going to be a part of your lives. It shouldn’t be anything to be hidden away, money should be discussed in a marriage.
That isn’t to say that you have to tell her it all upfront… a range could be enough.
“I’m looking to spend somewhere around $ ___” will suffice
I actually encourage couples not only to shop together, but do their research together too. You’d be surprised how complex buying an ERing can be… be it a Gemstone (more types of gemstones than you can imagine) or a Diamond (lots of info specs to absorb / understand)
And when 2 people are doing research there is a better chance that the end result will mean a very informed decision that makes both people happy
(you’d be surprised how much pressure Jewellery Stores put on unsuspecting men who come in to buy a Diamond without having done a lot of research… guys end up walking away in many cases IMO having paid too much, and ultimately with something their Girlfriend might not like)
There are certainly posts here on WBee that reflect that…
“But the Salesperson told me you’d love it cause it is their best seller “
There are literally 1000s upon 1000s of rings / settings… finding THE ONE that fits your girl and your relationship is key
— — —
So it was “obvious” that I knew the cost of my ERing & WBand because I was there when the deal was made.
BUT I strongly advise you at some point to tell your Girlfriend about her ring solely because you will no doubt have to have it appraised / insure it.
It is very important that both partners have that info. Incase the ring is ever lost or stolen etc. You both should know where the paperwork is stored, and what it says.
When it comes to Insurance you’ll find there is various kinds.
Replacement – Means you’ll get either the same ring from the Jeweller that you purchased from, OR the value that you paid for / the ring was appraised for.
FULL Replacement (at Current Market Value) – Means you’ll get either the same ring from the Jeweller that you purchased it from, OR someone will custom make it for you… OR you’ll get the value that the ring is currently worth (which could be greater than the appraised value)
Hope this helps,