(Closed) Spin Off (sort of): Would you leave early just because it was a Cash Bar or Dry?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1497 posts
Bumble bee

I like to have a drink in socal settings because it relaxes me. I’m get anxious in large crowds, or when I have to talk to people I’m not close with. Having a drink lets me loosen up and become more outgoing. 

I never drink to get drunk or to have a good time – I’ve only been drunk twice in my life. 

I would not leave the party early, no. But I may be a bit on the quiet side.

Post # 3
454 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t leave; I personally think that it’s really rude to expect people to provide you alcohol just because you’re going to watch them get married.  And it’s sad that some people feel like they need alcohol to have fun with their friends to the point where they would go home and drink by themselves to have fun rather than be with people they love and not have alcohol.  That’s just my opinion.

Post # 4
4244 posts
Honey bee

If it was a cash bar, no. A dry bar, maybe. Depends if they were still trying to have a ~party atmosphere or not.


Post # 5
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No, I would not leave early.  I grew up in the Bible Belt.  I have been to a bunch of dry weddings.

Post # 6
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t leave because of that, but if that caused the reception to be boring then yeah I’d probably leave early.

Post # 7
3276 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My thing is I need a few drinks to get on the dance floor, and once I’m there I’m having a great time and don’t want to leave and I’m more likely to converse with people I don’t know so well. When I’m not dancing/drinking, it’s usually just sitting at a table talking to people, which I feel like I do enough of during the week and would rather be home on my couch than sitting and talking to people, so I leave. If there was a dry wedding with some awesome activites (not washers or cornhole) then I would totally stay longer. 

Post # 8
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I don’t leave early b/c there’s a cash bar/dry wedding. I leave early if I don’t know too many people and/or it seems boring.

Post # 9
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Cash bar, no I would not leave early.  Dry bar, maybe – but just because I’ve found they usually seem to be less of a party atmosphere (not many people dancing, etc.).  I wouldn’t be leaving right after dinner or anything, but it might be the difference between staying long enough to see and talk to the couple and any other friends and family there, and staying all the way through the last dance.

Post # 10
10650 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I usually leave dry weddings earlier as they just seem to shut down sooner.  If the atmosphere was similar to a wedding with alcohol I wouldn’t leave early just because I couldn’t drink.

I find cash bar weddings vary.

Post # 11
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Whether or not I would leave early depends on how close I am to the couple, and what I may have going on the next day. Like, I left early from a coworker’s wedding. I thought it was pretty strange that she invited me at all since I only started 3 months before her wedding. But we are a small office and we all were invited soooo I went.

Post # 12
2054 posts
Buzzing bee

I would likely leave a dry wedding earlier. I like to have a couple of drinks in that setting and honestly yes would get bored earlier and feel less willing to be dancing. Being at a party without alcohol is different from being at work without alcohol. A cash wedding not necessarily if I had cash.

Post # 13
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Probably not. My body does this weird thing where sometimes I just can’t catch a buzz. So even if there was alcohol, that doesn’t meant I’m able to get drunk. I’ve been at weddings and other events where I just couldn’t get drunk, so I stopped drinking, and still had a great time!

Post # 14
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Maybe I’m stuck on the phrase “leave early.”  No, I wouldn’t “leave early” just because there wasn’t alcohol being served…  like, I wouldn’t eat dinner and be out the door. Any guest who would do that is the only one being rude and probably shouldn’t be invited in the first place.  BUT, I probably would not stay *as long* at a dry wedding, for the very reasons already stated:  it just isn’t the same “party” atmosphere, and anyone who has a dry wedding should understand that their reception will have a much different “feel” to it.  People naturally start filtering out, and they’re less inclined to dance or socialize for long periods of time without alcohol.  It’s as simple as that, and it’s not really a question of whether guests can have fun without alcohol – of COURSE they can, and will.  The difference is whether a bride and groom are in denial about the message/atmosphere they are creating when they decide to have a wet vs. cash vs. dry wedding. 

Post # 15
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t need to drink to have fun nor do I think I even know anyone who does. I just believe it’s that much more fun to drink in a wedding celebration environment so it’s disappointing to me If it’s not an option. Also, no one in my circle gets out of hand with their drinking so that isn’t a concern.

Fortunately I’ve only been to one dry wedding in my life, and because it was massive with groups from all over and no group knew any of the other groups, yeah, I will say it was significantly more boring than it would have been had there been alcohol to loosen people up and lubricate social interaction amongst strangers. So again, alcohol not imperative to having fun….it just makes it a lot more fun.

The only wedding where I’ve left early was the one dry wedding ive attended, but it was more due to the fact that they didn’t provide a full meal. so, we had to choose between passing out from hunger or leaving.

We ended up going back to the hotel where most of the guests were staying and having an amazing “party” in their lobby area complete with food and lots of drinks. About a third or so of the wedding guests ended up there about the same time we did and it was a great time….once everyone’s blood sugar was sufficiently restored.

You can say some form of the cliche “if you can’t have fun without alcohol than I pity you” all you want, but it will never change the fact that many, many people prefer alcohol as one of the many components of a super fun celebratory environment and that’s unlikey to change. Doesn’t mean people CANT have fun without it, just means they are responsible mature adult drinkers who appreciate how much more fun alcohol can make an a big celebratory event. so, people are likely to be put off without having the option or being made to pay for it when they have travelled/given you a gift/been put under the impression you were “hosting” them.

I don’t HAVE to do a lot of things to enjoy my life, but I do them because they make life a little more fun and don’t hurt me or anyone else in the process so it’s silly to banish them, and even sillier to expect others to not to be bothered if I were to try.

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