(Closed) Spin-off: the “right” way to do a honeymoon registry?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@dynamic_duo: Can you give us a link to the other post? i’d love to read it.

Fiance and I don’t have too many things that we really wanted or needed to put on our registry and neither of us want to go crazy registering for everything we can find (though my attitude has been more ascetic than hers and the issue has actually caused more friction between us than anything else with the wedding so far. But we’ve got it all settled now and we’re both happy).

Anyway, we created one at MyRegistry.com which lets us put up things as well as link to registries at other sites. For instance, most things come from Bed, Bath, & Beyond, but there are some IKEA and Target things that we’d like, so we’re just putting those on the MyRegistry site while linking to the BB&B one.

However, what we really wanted most was some help with honeymoon expenses. We know that some people don’t like that and prefer physical gifts, and for them there’s BB&B, but for everyone else, money goes into an account that goes straight to the honeymoon.

I actually wondered about the whole putting specific honeymoon events in the registry because it seems weird to me somehow. And I also wondered about what would happen if people paid for us to do a specific thing and then we felt tied to doing it in order to not let them down. We’d rather not have that dictate what we decide to do, so we decided just a general fund is probably the best thing for us.

Post # 4
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We did our honeymoon registry at Traveler’s Joy – similar to what you did, we did specific events that we really wanted to do, and then some of the other items included things we knew we’d do anyway, but it would be nice for someone to buy if they were so inclined:

– Champagne toast on our private balcony overlooking the ocean!

-Souvenirs from Puerto Vallarta would be a great way to remember our honeymoon. We will have our eyes peeled for locally-made arts and crafts to help decorate the house.

-A beer or three and lunch “off property.” We’ll definitely be touring around and could use the nourishment!

– Romance in Paradise Massage – This luxury package for two begins with the simplicity and efficiency of old world European facials that cleanse, tone and moisturize the skin. Followed by Swedish massages that moisturize your bodies with natural oils.

Post # 5
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think Honeymoon registries are great as long as, like you said, you are ACTUALLY going to do all the things you are asking for. I think the idea of sending the person pictures from the excursion or special activity that they bought you is a great idea.

I read that other post as well about the letter asking directly for money and I would have found that to be super offensive if I ever received it.  However, I frequently gift from honeymoon registries when I go to weddings.  I look at it as though I am giving them a “gift certificate” to do that certain activity!

Post # 7
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We are actually doing everything on our honeymoon registry.  And we are planning to send thank you notes with pix of us doing the activities.  It is interesting to see what people pick for you!

I did go to a wedding where the couple didn’t do the activity we picked on their registry.  I wasn’t really offended by it.  People return wedding gifts all the time!

Post # 8
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

We didn’t do a Honeymoon registry but I see nothing wrong with them. It actually would have made the most sense for Fiance and I since we’ve lived together for so long and really had everything we needed but after mentioning the idea to a few friends and family members, we opted against it. I found that a lot of people have issues with them but I don’t really get why. Personally, I’d rather give the gift of an amazing experience than some quesadilla maker that the couples going to forget about in a few years. 

@dynamic_duo: I would bet that everytime you think about your private dinner or awesome excursion that you and your Darling Husband got to experience, you’ll think about the generous gift that your guests gave you, right? I know I would. I can pretty much guarantee that I won’t remember who gave me measuring cups. 

Post # 10
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

@dynamic_duo:  I can understand why people like the idea of having their honeymoon paid for.  However, as I, and other people in that thread said, there is simply no proper, polite way to ask for cash.  If a gift-giver would like to give you money to enjoy on your honeymoon, they should decide to do that on their own accord, but asking for it is the same as asking for cash which is simply never polite.

If you can’t afford champagne toasts, touristy trinkets, and dinners, you don’t ask your guests to pay for those for you, just as you would not ask a guest to pay for anything else associated with your wedding (dress, appetizers, entrees, wedding cake) or any other lifestyle choice you make (paying off student loans for you, down payment for a house, your mortgage, etc).  You throw the wedding and have the honeymoon you can afford. 

Post # 11
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

I think honeymoon registries are ok if the couple uses the money on what the gift giver purchased. Otherwise I think it is basically like trying to ask for money but do it “politely” while actually lying. We thought a long time about having one, but we ultimately decided against it since we aren’t actually taking a honeymoon right after the wedding. How could we write a thank you note for an excursion we may never go on or a spa package we will probably not get?

Post # 14
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@singasong: We had our differences in the other thread and it appears we do here as well. Nowhere in the OP did PurpleUnicorn say anything about having her guests pay for her honeymoon. I hardly think a $170 dinner and a maybe $200-$300 excursion (no clue on that one) would be considered “paying for the honeymoon”. These are simply experiences that their guests WANTED to give to them. Registries are simply suggestions for what the couple would like. Are wedding guests required to buy the items off traditional registries? No, they’re not. They choose to buy the gifts because they know the couple would like it or could use it. Same thing with a Honeymoon registry. There is no difference. 

If you don’t like Honeymoon registries, then don’t buy things off of them. Problem solved. 

Post # 15
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@CaitMarae: You said everything I would say so I will just say nothing. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I like the idea of the Honeymoon registry. My Fiance and I have a small apartment and we don’t really need anything for our home. I would rather register for experiences on my Honeymoon than register for household things that I don’t need. And if anyone finds it offensive, then they don’t have to get us anything off it!

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