(Closed) SPIN-OFF TOPIC – Are You Ok with Lap Dances ?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Are You OK with your BF - SO - Fiance - Husband getting a Lap Dance from a Stripper etc ?

    NO

    YES - Tell me WHY...

  • Post # 182
    Member
    620 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Mrs.Estep good point!

    Some people argue the ‘respect full stop’ argument. In your case it’s respect for each others boundaries in regards to strippers. If he did happen to find himself at a bucks party with a stripper/ lapdance, he wouldn’t be disrespecting you (as an individual who he clearly loves), he was disrespecting the boundaries you had set.

    Post # 183
    Member
    9832 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

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    @mandypop:  well said. I personally don’t like them, don’t want my Fiance to get them, but I have no problem with others getting them, and I understand strippers are just doing their job πŸ™‚

    Post # 184
    Member
    11375 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    View original reply
    @theone99:  Yes. & Clearly the respect for our relationship/marriage because those are the boundaries we have set in our marriage. 

    I like when two people (you & I) can talk about this without getting crazy but still have two different opinions! πŸ™‚

    Post # 185
    Member
    677 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

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    @Sweet.Sugar.Rose:  Because for each couple, respect & boundaries are different. My husband respects me in every aspect of life, including not getting lap dances from strange women or have their boobs in his face. BUT that is the boundaries we have for OUR relationship. It doesn’t bother you, so you don’t link the two together (strippers & respect) like other couples do. Everyone is different & that is okay! I see no problem with strippers doing what have you to your Fiance or someone elses. As long as you are okay with it, then its no biggy! πŸ™‚

    Very well put, I was about to post something similar!

    Post # 186
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

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    @Nona99:  

    Oh, and I’m not even going to talk about the whole male stripper situation, if you ask me those are a million times worse! Who wants to get manhandled by some near naked dude in boots and a tool belt! 

    Even if you did, why would you pay for it? πŸ˜€

    View original reply
    @Nona99:  

    I suppose my Looney Tunes state of mind is just always waiting for something completely silly to happen, toned or not you have to admit the scenario is rife with peril for all parties involved!

    Me too. What would be worse… your Fiance being at a party where he maybe had sex with a stripper cum prostitute, or being at a party where someone or someones raped the stripper, and having to wonder if he was involved, what he knew, why he didn’t stop it…  πŸ™

     

    Post # 188
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have been thinking about this more. I think that strippers etc. don’t bother me because it’s not a problem in my relationship. And it’s never been a problem in any of my relationships. There are men that fixate on sex workers; I’ve known some, even casually dated them. In my observation they’re attracted to two things — the blatant sexuality, of course. But also, the “Pretty Woman” fantasy. They’re attracted to the idea of “saving” a stripper, taking her away from her sordid life and fixing her.

    I think, if you’re in a relationship where your significant other appreciates some shimmying and grinding and it’s just a performance, and that’s the end of it, it’s easier to feel secure and comfortable with the idea. But if you’re with someone who’s attracted to strippers less for the public nudity and more for the redemption fantasy, it can be very threatening. Because then those strippers are a threat to the stability of your relationship. Not through any machinations on their part, but because of what they represent. (Just reading through this thread provides enough stereotypes and generalizations that it should be clear why strippers are a convenient focus for this kind of fantasy.)

     

    Post # 189
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

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    @MissEMich:  

    So what you’re saying is it’s like walking into Best Buy to get a new phone charger, and all of a sudden there are salespeople working on commission trying to “upsell” you on a new phone, computer, flat screen TV, and front-loading washing machine…

    Post # 190
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I’m okay with it with three rules:
    – No touching box
    – No penetration
    – No eating, sucking or touching anything that’s been inside the stripper.

    I guess the reason I’m okay with it is because I know that if I were ever in the situation with a male stripper, and I’m sure a friend is bound to have a bachelorette party with male strippers at some point, I want him to trust me and know that it’s just a bit of drunken fun. So, I trust him and take it as just that. As long as he’s coming home to me, that’s all that matters.

    Post # 191
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2020 - establishment theatre

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    @MissEMich:  whether or not you meant to be offending or degrading you were. Many woman choose to strip simply because the money is good, but I have a couple of friends who do because to them..it makes THEM feel sexy. it gives them a boost of self esteem. now i know that must be really hard for some of you to wrap your head around because most think that taking your clothes off for a group of men( and women) is degrading, but for them it isnt…they have the power, they have the control of the situation and for them it makes them feel sexy. and you seem to think that MOST strippers will do anything for a buck. the vast majority either have kids at home to support or putting themselves through school. there is a number who are willing to do “extras” but honestly they arent forcing a man to do anything. and if they choose to do that then so be it. is it really that different than a woman who goes on a first date and has sex? except they are making money at it. obviously i have some different views of sex than some, I think prostitution should be made legal and regulated in all states like it is is Nevada. I have seen a LOT of narrow minded views on this post and it truely upsets me. if your Fiance is getting a bj from a stripper, i would be asking who else is he getting it from that hes not paying for…..

    Post # 192
    Member
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Im with ya, Estep, Jothecat, and Penquino.

     

    If they actually legalized the non stripping side of the industry it would help! They can tax it to death and regulate so workers actually stay safer!

    Tunnel vision, many only see the ugly side when is really a very small part of that industry.. I have photographed strippers and escorts (they needed promo photos) they we not gross, dumb, etc. They had a goals and a smart head on their shoulders. One of the strippers I photographed paid her way thorough medical school, for her braces, and had bank to pay her house off in cash for her and her daughter. Single mom.

    Let alone sex sells and always will..  be it stripping or escorting.. Oldest profession in the world for a reason, prostitution actually is legal almost everywhere except the US.

    Post # 193
    Member
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I voted no, but not because of the act itself, but because it’s a waste of money.  My Fiance actually hates strippers because he sees them as money hungry leeches.  If his buddies had a bachelor party for him and they were paying, I wouldn’t care.  I see strippers as just another girl just doing her job to make ends meet.  I just don’t like the lying behavior which seems to come with strippers.

    Post # 194
    Member
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Im probably one of the weird ones, but im okay with it. I used to go with my exes all the time, and get one myself lol

    Post # 195
    Member
    132 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    After reading the link, I can completely understand why folks are upset. 

    I wouldn’t have a problem with the strip club.  I agree with the other ladies who have no issues with it.  I would prefer him to go there than have a big sex show at my house!

    Post # 196
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted yes. I wouldn’t mind if my fiancé got a lap dance for his bachelor party but no touching or licking or whatever.

    We’ve talked about it and I know he told his Groomsmen that he doesn’t wanna go to a strip club but if they do, then be it.

    The topic ‘SPIN-OFF TOPIC – Are You Ok with Lap Dances ?’ is closed to new replies.

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