(Closed) SPIN-OFF TOPIC – Are You Ok with Lap Dances ?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Are You OK with your BF - SO - Fiance - Husband getting a Lap Dance from a Stripper etc ?

    NO

    YES - Tell me WHY...

  • Post # 227
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    As long as I get to watch. I know that sounds weird, but I enjoy it. he has never went to a strip club without me because I enjoy going sometimes too.

    Post # 228
    Member
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My SO knows he needs to vacate stat if there are naked women around, or women giving lap dances, or both. I don’t care if they are strippers or some random chick at a party. Doesn’t fly with me. No strip clubs, strippers, or bachelor parties that involve strippers. His friend recently got married, and the guy is a huge sleazy bastard, and gets strippers all the time without his now wife knowing. SO told him point blank, no strippers. He said he’d leave if strippers were involved.

    They went to a casino and had a great time-no strippers to be seen. It is possible to have fun at a bachelor party without involving strippers. Of course the d-bag groom took off with some ho’e from the casino, but at least they weren’t at a strip club, and my SO wasn’t involved in any shadiness.

    Post # 229
    Member
    1462 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I still dont have a problem with it…why because a lap dance does not define my relationship. If my Fiance said he wanted to have one I would totally be okay. I wanted to book a stripper bus and he asked me to cancel and have a Jack & Jill party instead. If he got an erection and came home that would be a plus for me. I have never had a problem in my previous relationships. I dont mean to sound cocky but I dont sweat other women I know who I am and what I bring to the relationship. If my Fiance couldnt control himself then he is not the man for me. My Fiance is not the type that like strippers or lap dances but I have been with men in the past that have. What is more important to me is the quality of the relationship. I feel when a man gets a certain age they are not interested in strippers or lap dances it doesnt mean he never had them it just means they have grown out of having them my Fiance is 49.

    Post # 230
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Lapdances and strip clubs in general are off limits with me..don’t approve of them in the slightest. To each their own, but my FH sure won’t be going to one for his bachelor party!

    Post # 231
    Member
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Nope.  I’ve said it a million times, it all comes down to selection.  I don’t find the kind a man that would get a lap dance attractive.  I didn’t date those kind of men, and I certainly didn’t marry one. 

     

    Post # 232
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Ok, so here is my opinion that maybe would help some people gain a different perspective on strippers.

    My sister got married over the weekend and I hired a male stripper to come to the house and perform. I’ve never hired a stripper before, and truly had no idea what to expect. I was shocked- this man was VERY hands on- with all of us. He was flipping us, humping us, gyrating his penis in our faces, making us grab his bare butt- I mean it was crazy and I am by no means a prude. He was also very strong ๐Ÿ™‚

    My fiance and my sister’s hubby went out to the stip clubs too (they didn’t end up by getting in, but that’s a whole different story) and I was completely losing my mind about it. Double standard, I know.

    At the end of the day, after experiencing a stripper of my own, I realized that it just doesn’t matter. It was fun, it was silly, it was entertaining, and that was it. I wasn’t sexually attracted to this guy (although I can appreciate his baby face and physique). I wasn’t going to run off with him and leave my fiance, nor was I going to go sneak off to the bathroom for a quickie with him either.

    And you know what? My fiance is going to do that either. Really, the only thing I don’t like about strippers is that they are a bit of a waste of money.

    Post # 233
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2018

    I answered no, but not because I have anything against strippers or lap dances. I don’t think that strippers are trying to steal men & I understand that it’s just a job to them. My reason for it is that the sexual stuff in our relationship is really intimate. From erection to whatever else may follow & I don’t feel comfortable with another woman being that intimate with him – it’s just our relationship and how we are, and I don’t think that he’d enjoy it or want one either. Still I don’t know because he never has & I don’t want to speak for him. Just a different reason for not being ok with it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 234
    Member
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    So everyone saying they are ok with it…. then you wouldn’t mind if he got lap dances from a coworker?   Or a woman at a party?  Or a bar?   

    Post # 235
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would be totally against one of those back room 1 on 1 excursions and I wouldn’t be crazy about any lap dance, but if it was JUST a lap dance, I wouldn’t make a big deal about it. I think, at least in my case, if it happened, it would be more for the entertainment and satisfaction of his friends. My Fiance never goes to strip clubs, so if he went through with it, I’m sure it would be because his friends thought it was cool and manly… and they would probably pay. I trust my Fiance 100% and know it would be just a night of entertainment and nothing more.

    Post # 236
    Member
    12244 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    “No, I am not OK with lap dances.

    It’s not because I don’t trust my Fiance — even if he were to get a lap dance it wouldn’t make me think he was going to cheat on me or leave me. I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea of another woman putting her naked sexy bits anywhere near my FI’s naughty bits. The only woman’s sexy bits he needs to be up close and personal with are mine, and only I get to be up close and personal with his.”

    If he weren’t in a club, it would be cheating light! But somehow it’s okay because he’s paying for it? What?

    If lap dances weren’t a thing, I wouldn’t mind him going to a strip club! But they ARE, and it makes me feel like CRAP, and it’s HORRIBLY upsetting to me that some girl is going to rub her stuff all OVER my man, and if I say ANYTHING about how upset that makes me, I’m no longer a “cool FI” by societal standards!

    So I just get to get TRASHED while he has a great time getting grinded on by some poor girl who’s probably just trying to afford college!

    It’s horrible and I hate it and the closer his bachelor party gets the more upset I get but I’m not going to say ANYTHING because I will NOT be the miserable future wife that tells her Fiance “No” or guilts him into not going!

    I just can’t win!

    Post # 237
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t mind him getting a lap dance at all. 
    As long as he didn’t pay for it ๐Ÿ˜‰ I hate money wasting.

    Neither of us have been, but I’d go with him! (or trust him on his own)

    I think maybe the yes vs no’s are on how comfortable you are in 1. your own sexuality or 2.relationship.
    Or maybe 3. the type of person your SO is.

    For 1. I’m personally bisexual, and we’ve had many discussions about sexuality and understand each other on that level. I also get how guys view girls, so I see lap dances as mostly harmless. I have seen a few people using euphemisms in this thread (I can understand modesty here) but to me that might signal avoidance of the topic.

    2. A lot of people on here are also saying they completely trust their guy, and I believe them, but not everyone has that luxury, sadly.

    3. I think this is the major one. I completely don’t care if my current SO gets a lapdance/ goes to a strip club (because he probably wouldnt like it that much) but if several of my ex’s had gone, I’d be interrogating their butts off. Some guys just try to be sneaky, or sleazy and get away with it. I guess that goes with trust, but I think there is a slight difference. Like one of my ex’s had posters of girls in bikinis on my wall. I definitely wouldn’t have been comfortable with him going after that.

    just some of my insight on the topic ๐Ÿ™‚
     

    Post # 238
    Member
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am not okay with anyone’s ass on his lap except mine and the cat’s. NO WAY! :-X

    Post # 239
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee

    We don’t even have strip clubs in my city. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 240
    Member
    481 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I think it’s hilarious how bent out of shape women can get over a lap dance.

    Post # 241
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Totally okay with it.  I go with Fiance and usually, he’s the one talking ME into a lap dance!

    The topic ‘SPIN-OFF TOPIC – Are You Ok with Lap Dances ?’ is closed to new replies.

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