(Closed) SPIN-OFF TOPIC – Are You Ok with Lap Dances ?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Are You OK with your BF - SO - Fiance - Husband getting a Lap Dance from a Stripper etc ?

    NO

    YES - Tell me WHY...

  • Post # 242
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Not really. I don’t care much for the sexy-time industry (although I envy the money they make).  I have a couple of casual friends who do it, and the money kicks ass, but it’s got some major unhealthy vibes to it. Kind of how I view dance and modelling. Awesome, talented girls and guys, with mad skills, but they all seem to think they have to appear visually perfect and uphold insane standards. The expectations they put up with and put on themselves are phenomenal, and I myself work in some hateful situations, so it’s saying something. 

    I don’t support throwing major money at those vibes, but if someone loves it and makes a great career out of it, they should probably ignore my opinion and carry on. Anyways, my fiance would rather watch a UFC match and get wings, which suits me fine. 

    Post # 243
    Member
    3823 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yep! I’d pay for him to get one. That entire industry is an entertainment industry. My Fiance doesn’t fantasize about sexin’ down and marryin’ a stripper. He wants me, not her. She’s just an object… a visual thing. It’s not that serious. I guess I don’t carry that gene that most women have that makes me feel all emotionally fragile when it comes to my man going to a strip club.

    Post # 244
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m fine with FI going to strip clubs, I’ve actually been a few times with Fiance.  While I’m fine with a guy watching a stripper I do not like any touching of any sort.  He’s well aware of where I draw the line (just as I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me watching male dancers, but would freak if they touched me or I touched them) and agrees with me on it.

    Post # 245
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    No, no, NO. 

    Post # 246
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee

    I am not okay with it. While we are on the subject, I am not okay with porn either. To me it’s a juvenile mentality. Not to mention, I consider both to be very disrespectful. I am not particularly religious or controlling… I really just consider it an issue of respect and I feel that it would compromise his integrity.

    Sidenote. I am upfront on my feelings with this and he knows full well how I view this… I have made it clear that I would not proceed in a relationship with someone who views these things as acceptable. It’s not something that is negotiable.

     

     

     

    Post # 247
    Member
    2324 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @This Time Round:  I was going to start a thread but realised there is a 7 page discussion – i better get reading!

    I thought I was ok with it. But then Fiance doesn’t get 1 LP, but 2.

    And it wasn’t his Bachelor’s Party. Maybe I’d be ok with him, if he were the Bachelor, getting a LP? But he wasn’t the Bachlor, & he did get them.

    Does it make a difference that he didn’t purchase them himself? Kind off.. i guess.. but it still doesn’t sit well with me.

    And what about the fact that he did or did not get an erection?

    Maybe strippers are ok, as they are thee to entertain an audience. Not like a LP.

    And does it make a difference that Fiance tells you about it straight up? Rather than finding out through someone else?

    I haven’t had a chance to speak to Fiance as he’s still nursing his hangover, but i’m wondering whether its worthwhile. It’s done. Nothing can change that fact.

    Post # 249
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Nope. I am okay with him going to a strip club, but have said there needs to be a certain amount of distance. Basically – if he is a random spectator, fine. But if a woman/girl focuses on him, with the intent to arouse him (like a lap dance, small group stripper, etc.) then no.

    I don’t feel it is respectful to our relationship, for him to seek out another woman to get him all wound up, sexually. (Note: I said “seek out” – I know it happens randomly at other times, but if he goes out with the purpose of doing this, that’s where my line is.)

    We have talked about it, he disagrees but respects my stance, and he has agreed to no strippers at the bachelor party. I wasn’t overly worried about that anyhow – the best man is not the type to arrange that, but I felt it was better to make that explicity agreement just in case.

    Post # 250
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I honestly could not care less about fi getting a lap dance. Hell we’ve actually gone to the strip club together a few times, he once paid to get me a lap dance lol. We watch porn together too. I guess its just not a big deal to me. But I”m not a very jealous person, and I’m not at all worried about him wanting any of these women more than he’d want me. I really don’t get why some women are so offended by it. I don’t find it disrespectful, I don’t think it means he’s not getting what he wants/needs from me, nor do I think its wrong for a commited man to go to a strip club. 

     

    Post # 252
    Member
    37 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    No. I’d like to pretend I’m the open minded girl that wouldn’t care but it’s just not true. Thinking about another girl grinding up on Fiance makes my want to vom. He knows this and doesn’t go to strip clubs under any circumstance. He’s the best, and I’m fortunate to have the best Fiance ever.

    Post # 253
    Member
    1263 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @This Time Round:  I am definitely not OK with it. As others have said, I find it disrespectful. I don’t think most guys would like it if their girlfriends/wives went up and gave a lap dance to another guy, so it’s obviously not such a mere trifle as they make it out to be, and is a total double standard. And I hate double standards, especially ones divided by gender.

    I just have no patience for a man who wants to seek out another woman to give him an erection. In my book, that’s pretty much cheating. 

    Post # 254
    Member
    2943 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Yes I’m okay with it but with caveats. Once in a blue moon? Sure, whatever. He’s not leaving me for her, and I know I’m the one he wants and loves. However, if he were getting them on a regular basis, I’d be disturbed at his change in personality and pissed at the waste of money. He’s not into strip clubs at all, even as just a mere spectator, so I don’t consider it a problem at all. If he were the kind of guy who made a habit of going to strip clubs…well we wouldn’t be together because I wouldn’t be down with someone who needed so much extra curricular stimulation.

    Post # 255
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I know he is always coming home so why stress the details? I dont want him to cheat, a lap dance is just a dance, i do not want to hear if he got an erection! He knows i trust him and so far that has kept him from even wanting to go to a strip club, but i fully acknowledge and accept there will probably be a stripper at his Bridal Party and I also understand its more for the other guys than him. You have to be insecure to monitor what he does 24/7.

    Post # 256
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m definitely not okay with it but that doesn’t matter anyway because my husband would never step foot in a strip club. He thinks they are disgusting and so do I. Luckily we have this in common. 

    The topic ‘SPIN-OFF TOPIC – Are You Ok with Lap Dances ?’ is closed to new replies.

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