(Closed) Spin-off Will you insist your child be multi-lingual and/or musical?

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

My husband and I have both studied music. My husband actually has a music education degree now, so I’d imagine it’ll be strongly suggested at the very least. 😉

Post # 4
13095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I will want my children involved in music in some form but I will let them choose the instrument (and singing would absolutely count if they prefer that).

I don’t particularly care if they are multi-lingual.  If they desire to be – great, I’d support that.  But it certainly isn’t something I would require.

Post # 5
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I doubt I will force them to do anything, but I would like to expose them to other languages/cultures/activities.  I sometimes speak to my dogs in French or Spanish, I like to watch movies in other languages, so I guess I hope our hypothetical future child(ren) might be interested.

I would like to strongly encourage sports or physical activities though.  I don’t mean like “you have to play football or you’re no son of mine!!” but just encourage an active lifestyle in general.  Obesity is an epidemic & it’s likely only going to get worse.  I’d like our potential offspring to be as healthy and active as possible.

Post # 6
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would really like my kids to be multi-lingual and involved in some musical pursuit (as well as involved in sports) however I don’t feel like I can “insist” on any of these.

Piano was forced on me for 7 years and since it wasn’t my choice I rebelled against it and never practiced. I feel like if it had been more of my choice rather than forced on me I would have tried a lot harder.

Language was a requirement in school, so I was exposed to it at an early age and we had a nanny who was from Guatemala. Sad thing is I was pretty much bilingual when I was really little but lost it all.

I really wish that I’d been able to keep it, so I want to make sure my kids have the opportunities to learn those things and when they are young, there may be more of me pushing it on them a bit until they are old enough to decide for themselves.

Post # 7
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My children 2 and 4 already know spanish and english Future Mother-In-Law helped a ton! I know next to no spanish so they think its funny to talk in spanish so i dont understand them Sneaky girls. And we would like them to be musical we have music playing all day (instead of a tv) and I am trying to get the older one interested in choosing a insterment but I dont know how much more she can do she is already in dance lessons that she loves. I guess im trying to not over board her with activitys so she can still be a kid.

Post # 8
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

When they are young, I’m going to have them all active and educated.  They will learn Spanish young– I speak it from years in school, but I’ll hire a real tutor for them.  I think a foreign language is becoming non-negotiable as the world gets more connected.  I’d love it if they were in band as part of school, because I had so much fun, but being musical won’t be essential. 

When they’re old enough to choose what sport/hobby/whatever they want to do, we’ll go gung-ho into whatever it is.  Not crazy pageant-mom style, but just enough so that they can develop some self-confidence and learn how to practice and get better at something?  I think those skills (perseverance, learning how to fail, etc) are more important than the actually being able to kick a ball or whatnot (but if they get the skills from being soccer-stars, then that works for me!)

Post # 9
3942 posts
Honey bee

My mom forced me to play an instrument in middle school, and I hated it. I used to cry on the day I had lessons and would try to pretend I was sick. She finally let me quit and I was happiest kid alive. I played soccer, basketball, softball, tennis, and ballet. Playing an instrument was not for me though.

I did start taking spanish in the 8th grade, because it was required in school to take either spanish or french. I ended up  loving it so much that I continued through high school and and got a minor in college in it. I wish it had been offered in school at a younger age, because it becomes harder to learn a language the older you get.

I wont force any of our children to learn a second language or play an instrument,  but I will encourage that they participate in activities outside of school. Sports, theater, writing-anything they want.

Post # 10
98 posts
Worker bee

It is an absolute necessity that my childrin are fluent in both English and Polish (as my FI’s family moved from Poland when he was a baby and that is their preferred language). But after that, I would encourage them to learn Spanish since we live in Southern California. I was also super resentful at the fact that my parents never encouraged me to learn another language, I always wish I was multilingual. 

Post # 11
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If I have kids they will be adopted and if it is from another country I would like them to know the native language of that country. If not then I don’t care if they are not multi-lingual. Music wise I will never push it, if they want to that’s fine…I would “strongly suggest” sports though. I can’t explain how sad I would be if I had a kid that did not like sports.

Post # 11
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Music is very important to me. I studied music and it’s made an incredibly positive impact on my life. I will definitely push my hypothetical children to study and appreciate it but if it’s something they’re just not into, I won’t force it. My “instrument” is my voice. I tried playing actual instruments and they just weren’t for me. If I didn’t sing, I probably wouldn’t have been as involved in music as I was/am. Having a voice is natural and not really something that can be taught. If my children aren’t blessed with pipes, and playing an instrument isn’t rewarding for them, then we’ll find something that is. In my experience, forcing your kid to do something that they don’t enjoy is a waste of time and money for everyone involved.

As for being multi-lingual, that’s not really something I ever thought about. Obviously they’ll learn a language in school but beyond that, I don’t really care. If they want to be fluent in other languages then more power to ‘em! It really wouldn’t make a difference to me, though. 

Post # 12
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FOr sure our kids will be going to a French school and Portuguese school on Saturdays. I want them to learn the languages. As far as music goes, I would love for them to learn some kind of instrument but only if they really like it. Fiance plays piano, guitar and I also play the piano, so it will be in the house for our kids to listen and learn if they want to.

Post # 13
6245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I was forced to play an instrument in elementary and middle school.  I HATED it.  Although I loved taking piano lessons… which were at my request.  So no, I won’t force music, but I will suggest that they try a bunch of instruments or lessons in case they find something they enjoy.

I have heard several reports that Spanish is going to take over as the most-spoken language within my lifetime.  So I will probably have my children learn Spanish from a young age.  It will help me brush up on it too.

Post # 14
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Mufti-lingual yes because I’m Chinese and I want our kids to know how to speak Chinese at the very least. Otherwise they can’t communicate with my mom!

As for music it’s less important to me. We have a philosophy that they should give everything a try for the length of the program. But at the end of it if they don’t like it we will not force them to continue. Be it soccer, ballet, piano, lacrosse, swimming etc etc

Post # 14
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My bonus son is 4 and loves music. He loves singing and dancing and always pretends to play instruments. I think because he shows an interest, we will probably nurture the interest. We discussed getting him drums (nuts I know), but it seems to be what he is most interested in. 

My parents never forced me to do anything, but would always help me pursue anything that I showed interest in. When I wanted to quit things, they didn’t allow me to do that, and insisted that I stick with it. I appreciate that now. I plan to do the same thing with my boys.

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