(Closed) Spin-off Will you insist your child be multi-lingual and/or musical?

posted 9 years ago in Parenting
Post # 29
720 posts
Busy bee

Not music or language, but I’m worried my SO is going to make our kids do scouts.  I did girl scouts and loved it and my SO is HUGELY active in boy scouts even today (eagle and committee member of the year :D).  I’m 100% sure we’ll introduce our kids to scouts, but if they don’t like it…I don’t want to force them.  My dad was super into swim team and was an incredible swimmer but I really didn’t like it.  I wanted to do martial arts (lol, I know, but I really did, like badgered them for years to let me do it).  Nope, swim team for me, year round, 3 times a week, from age 5 to age 15.  It was a constant fight every day to get me to go to practice.  I will absolutely force our kids to do *something* so they’re not sitting on their butt in front of the TV all day, but I think within reason they should get to pick.

Post # 30
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I will ‘insist’ they do what they enjoy. I took piano for three years and hated every minute of it. I took voice for 10 years + college and still love singing. I know it would have been incredibly beneficial for me to be able to play piano, but it wasn’t my thing.

Language is the same way. I’d love to learn Spanish and French, but I don’t know that it will ever happen. If my kids show a love for language, then I will by all means encourage them.


Post # 31
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

By nature, I think my kids will be bi-lingual since my husbands first language is Argentinian spanish. We speak spanish and english in the household, so I would be more than happy make the effort to use spanish with them growing up as well as english to get the bi-lingual effect. Our neighboors do it ( husband spanish, wife american) and it is working great. We talk to their daughter in spanish and english 🙂

I don’t like the idea of forcing anything, rather introducing a spectrum of things and also letting a child express his/her intrests as well.

Post # 32
2231 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

For sure. Our hypothetical children will be attending Francophone school but we will be speaking with them in French from day one. FI’s family is French speaking while mine speaks Serbian so they will learn that as well.

As for music, Fiance & I coincidentally both played piano and clarinet growing up and I would hope that our children show some interest in music.

Post # 33
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You can leave learning an instrument up to a child to decide, but by the time they’re old enough to decide whether they want to learn a language, they’re past the critical stage of learning a language, so it will be much harder. I really want my children to speak another language, especially living in NYC, it’s almost necessary. And the younger they learn the better.

Post # 34
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I prefer to let my kids develop their own interests, as long as they are more beneficial than playing video games.

Post # 35
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I want to have my kids be multi-lingual because 1. it’s a good skill, 2. will connect them to their own (and if they are interested) other cultures, 3. makes it a lot easier to learn other languages as they get older.  That said, they’ll just learn it by me speaking to them in it as infants/toddlers. I’m not sure how I’d feel if I had to bring in a tutor.

I haaaaaaaated playing the viola growing up. I sucked at it, and it was seriously the farthest thing from my interests. Both my siblings grew up to be musicians though lol. I’ll make music/instruments/singing available to them but it won’t ever be something I force since I hated it so much.

I will absolutely have them in sports of some kind (includes dance or yoga or martial arts or whatever if that’s what they want).  It doesn’t necessarily have to be organized sports, but I want them to get an appreciation of physical activity while young, and understand team behavior hopefully.

Post # 36
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My kids will have to be bilingual at the very least. We speak English at home, but live in Haiti where people speak French and Haitian Creole. They’ll likely start school in the French system and switch over to an American style school later. Both sets of grandparents are monolingual in different languages, so they’ll have to communicate in different languages with them.

As for music, my husband is very musical and I assume that he’ll teach our kids how to play at least one of the instruments he can play. I don’t think we’ll force that on our kids, but I really don’t see how they could escape that influence.

Post # 37
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had almost no opportunities for things like music or dance lessons when I was growing up, and I still resent it. I want my child to have the option to try different things and find something they love, no matter what it is (as long as it’s not video games). 

I would love for them to be bilingual, just because I think it will be a very important skill to have 20 years from now. I won’t force music classes on them, but I will strongly encourage them to try them. And we’re just as interested in having them participate in athletics…DH and his dad are both runners, so he’ll pushing hard for that, but any sport/physical activity (ballet/other dance, gymastics, etc). I want my child to be healthy and strong. 

Post # 37
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

Honestly, my Fiance and I both work full time. I’m happy if my daughter is happy, fed and clean most days 🙂

The only activity I inisist she does is church.

Post # 38
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

yes, definitely lamgauges and music. i don’t think i will homeschool as live in a fantastic district (we’ll see). i also plan to push them to study their standardized tests (sat’s, etc) if that’s still imprtant 10 years from now. best way to get into college for free is awesome test scores!

Post # 39
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My children will absoluely be multi-lingual. Fiance and I have agreed that when we do have kids, he will speak to them in Spanish (his native language) and I will speak to them in english. And when we speak to each other, we switch back and forth already. Hahaha!

They’ll pick their own instrument though. Music was how Fiance and I met, so it’ll be very important in our family, but they’ll pick their instrument. 🙂

Post # 40
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would insist on my child learning another language starting from an early age, play at least one instrument and/ or sing if one or the other doesn’t suit them. My husband has a minor in spanish so I think that goal will be met! They’ll know way more than me! As for the more artistic/ musical category I would allow them to take dance lessons. These type of activities really benefit children and wish that I had more oppertunities when I was younger!

Post # 41
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I hated piano as a kid, but I will absolutely insist my kid plays. Also, my fiancé and I speak five lanfuages between the two of us. Being multilingual is certainly not negotiable to me.

Post # 42
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t know about “insisting”, but our children are growing up in a home where 4 languages are spoken between my husband and I (English, French, Spanish Croatian) and they have picked up on all four.  They are eager to learn what they don’t know.

My husband and I have very diverse musical tastes, and were both brought up with musical instruments (guitar for him, piano, violin and trumpet for me) so I am assuming that the kids will do the same.

But I will by no means “insist” on it.  I think it is good for children to be cultured, but shoving it down their throats is going to make them hate it, and you.

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