(Closed) Spinoff: Anti-abortion Bees – Where do you draw the moral/ethical line?

posted 8 years ago in Wellness
Post # 77
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3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@Anardana:  This is what I was trying to say. I’m an engineer so generally I suck at putting my words out in a way that make sense.

Post # 78
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2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@Woodstock:  if you read my previous post, you will see that that isn’t true either… I can’t make the decision one way or the other until I’m in the situation… I can say I wouldn’t get an abortion until I’m blue in the face; but if I was raped and ended up pregnant?  I don’t know what I’d do until I was in the situation.  It’s not black and white for everyone… which is why I’m pro-choice, not necessarily pro-abortion.  There is a big difference.

Post # 79
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742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@BearcatBetch:  I saw someone say once “be glad your mother was pro life” it was on facebook. I remember thinking that it was odd because my mother is pro choice to the extreme. In fact shes closer to pro abortion than the choice part. If she hadn’t wanted me I wouldnt be here and I would have no opinion on the matter either way. XD

 

It’s impossible to turn a debate such as this into a witty one liner without ignoring most of the arguments is what i’m saying 🙂

Post # 80
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995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Woodstock:  lol that was more of an aside directed to the person earlier that had a problem with the OP’s wording

Post # 82
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742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@Woodstock:  I don’t think you suck at it 🙂 it’s probably the most difficult to summarise of any controversial issue!

Post # 83
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1773 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m pro-choice, so I won’t comment on the meat of the thread.

 

Pro-Life though, is a totally crap phrase. Pro-life implies heavily that the other side is FOR killing babies, which is why the term is used. We aren’t. We’re for CHOICE. The other side is AGAINST abortions. It really makes more sense.

 

 

Furthermore, to whoever said we all feel like we should kill the murderer of a family member, I wouldn’t. I found it offensive that your justifying that topic is that we all feel that way. We don’t.

 

And now the real reason for my post.

 

For those of you who do not believe in abortion except in cases where it will harm the mother and so on, I’d like to share a friend’s experience and I’d like you to tell me what is morally correct to you in this situation.

 

She had tried for a long time to get pregnant. Y’know, she wants to be a mom more than anything in the world. She tried for 5 years and it didn’t happen, so she did try a fertility drug. She concieved and was as happy as a clam.

At 5 months she went in for a regularly scheduled appointment (she was very diligent about everything, of course) and she went in to find out the gender. They informed her she was having a boy, but also noticed something odd. They started testing, and the situation looked more and more grim. At first they said there was a chance of down’s or maybe another syndrome. She was heartbroken, but she forged on with the testing. That was most of what she did. Did I mention she had felt the first movement a week before her appointment that started all this? 

Things got worse the more tests she got. This went on for weeks as they evaluated everything and she drove to the universities for tests. The doctor literally was shaking as she sat her down. She was choking up as she delivered the news that her baby, in fact, had trisomy 18. Beyond that, they were seeing problems with his heart potentially. What ended up happening is that half is heart wasn’t working, and that his lungs weren’t normal either. Basically, he’d have severe physical and mental defects and probably wouldn’t live a week. Oh, also, it would be a painful week of life at that.

 

They gave her the choice to terminate the pregnancy at 5/6 months, or carry it through, where the baby would, inevitibly die, living a painful few days of life outside the womb.

 

In the end, she lost the baby before she could decide, but I’m wondering your take on everything right-to-lifers! Would it be acceptable, in this situation, to have the pregnancy terminated? Keep in mind the baby would be in pain, the mother would have to see her baby’s face, which would be twisted in pain and deformed, when the baby was going to pass on anyhow. She also would have gone through many more months knowing the outcome.

 

Thoughts?

Post # 84
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2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@ames12708:  That was really well put together… and I think you made some really great points… I don’t think abortion is a decision that should be made hastily and there really should me more counselling before and after a woman makes that decision.  It’s really nice to see a “pro-lifer” who understands that the CHOICE is important, even if they personally wouldn’t make it… Thank you for writing your views!

Post # 85
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5653 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@Baimee:  This is exactly the kind of situation that I feel is up to the woman herself and no one else. Doctors have been wrong before… I think I would carry the baby to term, but I wouldn’t expect someone else to.

Post # 87
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230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Baimee:  I personally still do not agree with the decision to terminate based on those conditions. My cousin was adopted from a woman who did not give her the prenatal care she deserved. She was born with numerous issues including 2 spleens and many heart issues. The doctors did not believe that she would live past 1 month. She is now a beautiful second grader and I can’t help but share a picture of her. She has not had the easiest life and has spent more time in a hospital than any person should ever endure. But she is one of the happiest children I have ever met. I can’t image someone throwing away a chance at a child because the doctors don’t think it’ll live.

Post # 88
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995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@kybride2012:  At the same time, I can’t imagine tellling a woman she HAS to carry a child, no matter what the circumstances may be

I have worked as a counselor and have witnessed many cases where it would seem cruel and inhumane to deny the right to choose abortion.

A severely mentally handicapped girl raped by god knows who.

A 14yo girl pimped out by her mother(a prostitute) since she was 12

A teenage girl raped by her father weekly for years, and finally pregnant with his child

 

I could never feel comfortable with myself telling people in these situations that they had to go through such a joyless pregnancy–after all that they had already been through

Post # 89
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971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@kybride2012:  went through a slightly similar situation(with a worse ending) with my little brother my mom was older when he was concieved and before even once examining my mom or the baby they pushed her for an abortion. it was one of the first things dicussed when she met her doctor for the very first time. and it was not even a consideration for my mom.  the doctors never found anything wrong with him, thought they tried. 3 amnios?!? but for whatever reason. my brother did not live he was almost full term when he died. he was delievered. i was 16 at the time, i held him..he had my nose. we named him nathan and buried him. 

the doctors never could tell us what happened..it was heartbreaking. years later. i still cry over it sometimes. but knowing that little person, in his brief time being a part of my life, changed my life forever, it truly shaped my whole life plan and changed the way i saw the world forever. 

it seems so sad, and it was, but it still brings some joy to my life, because of how much of an impact that little guy made just by existing.

Post # 90
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Atalanta:  Sorry about that.  I guess I misinterpreted your initial post. It seems like you are saying here that it’s not ok at all.  I guess you are simply saying you don’t understand that logic?  Sorry if I put words in your mouth 🙂

“Often I hear that Anti-abortioners say it is OK to abort when it comes to rape and incest and other horrific situations.

Basically I don’t get the justification for that.  If you are protecting a fetus how can you morally say that a fetus made by rape is any less valuable than a fetus made by horny teenagers (or most any other way for that matter)?”

 

Post # 91
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have a hard time with the stance that abortion is ok when it’s a case of rape or incest because the mother is “less likely” to get prenatal care and/or to love the child once born— not because “every life is sacred, and life begins at conception” but because there is no guarantee whatsoever that a baby who isn’t born of rape or incest will automatically get those things.  To me, it seems like a convenient way out of taking away another woman’s choices but giving just enough back to make it feel more comfortable. 

I also have a really, really hard time with hearing “I would never abort my baby, even if I knew it suffered from a terrible birth defect and would only have a short life filled with pain, and because I wouldn’t do it, then I don’t think anyone should be able to do it either.”  Not every family has the financial and emotional resources to face those challenges. Not every family has good health insurance and plenty of time off from work, and not every potential mother or father has the strength and courage to go through such a heartbreaking ordeal. If your family is able to face those unknown things and get through them, then by all means, make your choice to do just that! But don’t use your own life and your own situaiton as the standard by which others must live.

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