(Closed) Spinoff: Are you easily offended on the bee when it comes to bee?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Are you easily offended on the bee while reading the boards?
    Yes -- Bees push my buttons quite often. : (9 votes)
    5 %
    Somewhat -- I find myself at times being offended. : (35 votes)
    19 %
    Not really -- I dont often feel upset/offended while reading the bee. : (106 votes)
    58 %
    Never -- Peoples comments never offend me. : (32 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 31
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    The first post I ever made on here was about bridesmaid invites I was just asking for ideas and trying to give people to shoe off their talents and work and, instead I got more of people going off their walkers about how I shouldnt send invites paticurally this early in the planning without even reading what I had wrote I am pretty sure I wasn’t offened but, some people just thought that by telling me how lame the idea was I would change my mind (which I did not) … I was just suprised by how much people on here seem to care what others do… Just answer my question or move on lol… people I do not know will not change my mind… I have seen this go on with a few others on here as well besides my own post … just crazy how upset people get about a wedding/life event they will not even be attending.. lol

    Post # 32
    1714 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    Very rarely, and I won’t say anything if that is the case. But I do find the majority of drama hilarious on here. 

    Post # 33
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t get offended, just exasperated, at seeing people trot out the same old questionable and/or just plain incorrect chestnuts over and over again–I’ve actually paid less attention to the Etiquette board because of this (I can’t help myself on more volatile social topics). 

    Post # 34
    49 posts
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I love this post. Lately there’s been some snarkiness but you kind of just have to roll your eyes and move on to whats helpful for you.

    Post # 35
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wouldn’t say I get  easily offended….I think what annoys (and confuses!) me most is when bees come out of nowhere with a snarky comment for no apparent reason on a post. Like OP says, we are all human and have different opinions. No need to be snarky!

    Post # 36
    2598 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    LadyPeacockk:  Most of the time, I do think people are sincerely trying to help and I’ve seen many instances where a Bride did decide to do something differently based on advise they received here.  

    When I see a bride ask for advise on cash bars I’ll tell her cash bars are rude.  If her original post says she doesn’t care and doesn’t want to hear that cash bars are rude, I move on.  

    I don’t get people who freak out when a total stranger doesn’t like their idea that they posted on an internet message forum for strangers to read and comment on.  It goes both ways. 


    Post # 37
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Zhabeego:  So in the registry thread, where the bride was simply venting and not asking for advice, why didn’t you move on, eh? Instead you had to give your ‘holier’ than thou’ advice. You push my buttons. Sometimes you say honest things that need to be said, but other times you are downright rude and nasty.

    And that is what gets me upset and fed up with this board – people who are purposefully nasty over and over again. If someone asks for advice, give it, even if it’s not the most positive. If an OP has their head buried in the sand, tell her to wake up. But continuously jumping on people gets me mad. And I find it takes a long time for those people to go away (like Panda).

    Post # 38
    446 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014


    Barbiestylez:  For me, it’s not so much that I don’t read things that might be offensive..I just don’t LET myself be offended. Not that I’m the most mature adult around, but like a mature adult, if I don’t like it, I exit the page or go to another thread. The beauty about the 1st amendment is that it protects our right to say whatever we feel, regardless if someone might get their panties in a wad or not. That’s why I try my hardest not to get too involved w/ what others say- it’s just an opinion.

    However, your post does bring to light how we (well, the US at least) have become a nation of whiners and the easily offended. I started a thread yesterday about baby name trends that irk people- one of the moderators came on and closed the thread b/c of something like it “critisizes others’ nesting choices”. REALLY?! No. Just no.

    Post # 39
    2598 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    bowsergirl:  Go back and read the thread – I did agree to disagree and I was not at all rude, nasty or holier than thou. 

    The OP and some others either told me I was wrong or asked direct questions and I responded.  I replied.  So?  They were also free to drop the discussion or agree to disagree. 

    As I said there, if that bride or any other is comfortable with their choice, that’s fine.  If they say their guests are cool with whatever they’re doing, okay.  

    Where I object is the trying to assert something is correct etiquette or proper manners, or cultural/traditional when it’s not. 

    Post # 40
    3039 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    In real life it takes me a long period of time before I get seriously annoyed/offended by someone. I’ve had housemates that have been dreadful, but I seem to be able to ignore it all for about 6 months or so before I blow up. So obviously, comments on an internet forum usually don’t aggravate me either. However, I do raise my eyebrows when some people come back to the same post over and over again – clearly trying to engage a fight. Especially if the OP is asking for emotional support and the poster decides to be plain out nasty about it. So sure, you might not think it’s worth crying over a Maid/Matron of Honor that have just decided to skip the bachelorette, but there’s no need to tell the OP that she’s childish/self centred/and bratty for being sad.

    Post # 41
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

    mdcmod:  The First Amendment does not protect our right to say whatever we want (this is why businesses may restrict the speech of their employees, to take one example, or why there are various well-developed exceptions (“fighting words” exception, etc.) that have emerged from Supreme Court decisions over the years).  The WB moderators have the authority to regulate speech on these forums.  However, I would argue that it is their relationship to the capitalist production mechanism (of which “the wedding industry” is a part) and not some perceived cultural failing (that we are now “whiners”) that drives their behavior. 

    Post # 42
    5282 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I can’t recall ever feeling offended on the internet. Let’s be real we are all strangers and at least for me, I don’t understand why I would allow a stranger to get me worked up/upset/mad. 

    Post # 43
    1649 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    No I don’t get offended at all. 

    However, I will admit I zone out if I see gigantic, long winded paragraphs and also I think it’s pretty pathetic to engage a complete stranger in an internet battle, but I see it all the time over something stupid like invitations or diamond/moissy.  A lot of it is LOL-worthy too and provides me with much entertainment during work hours.

    If anything, I’m surprised at how ignorant some people can be. For example, there was a post a while ago where a poster said black people smelled weird and had the science to back her claims and another poster referred to Asians as Orientals.  I’m like, is this 2014 or the 1950s?  

    Post # 44
    9588 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I mean some posters are just always aggro. Thats not my style in life or on the internet! Sometimes its interesting and fun to explore disagreements, I love a good debate- theyre bound to happen on a public forum.

    I also dont say opinions that I know will offend a lot of Bees who are into x,y,or z. Because also like in real life… I’m not an asshole. So if I dont like someones dress/ring/whatever… (and theyre not specifically asking for opinions) I leave it be and move along!

    I chat in the SIUP thread and monthly or so someone will come in there all aghast with a complete misunderstanding of SIUP or general rudeness and we literally just ignore it. No one ever responds. Its great.


    Post # 45
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t get offended, just entertained.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Are you easily offended on the bee when it comes to bee?’ is closed to new replies.

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