(Closed) SPINOFF: Did he LIE, or did you KNOW that you were the other woman?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you been the "other woman"? If so, did you know it, or did the man pretend to be single?
    I was tricked into being the "other woman". That scumbag lied. I respect others' relationships. : (35 votes)
    17 %
    I knowingly was/am a mistress or the "other woman" and he was married. All's fair in love and war. : (40 votes)
    20 %
    I have never been the other woman, and I never would knowingly choose to be a mistress. : (92 votes)
    45 %
    I have never been the other woman, but I'd go after a taken man if I really wanted him. : (1 votes)
    0 %
    I knowingly was/am a mistress or the "other woman", but he was NOT married, just in a relationship. : (37 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    4605 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @FLBlonde93:  It is sad. I was even more frustrated with guy #1 because his best friend hooked us up. The same best friend of his that KNEW he was about to get married and was in his wedding.

    Post # 48
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I want to add here that just because you were the other woman that it doesn’t mean you were okay with it or enjoyed it.

    I was the other woman and not once was I proud of what was going on. I didn’t intentionally seek out a married man. I didn’t see his ring and think ‘Who cares, I want him!”. We worked together every day and ended up becoming very close friends. We fell in love.

    I was pretty unhappy the entire time we were having to hide our relationship because I knew how wrong it was but I couldn’t help but be in love with him. His marriage was over but they had not yet gotten a divorce. I didn’t feel bad for his ex, she cheated on him and was addicted to drugs. She lost him without me ever being involved. I felt awful because I am a Christian woman. I felt extremely guilty for a very long time and stopped praying because I thought ‘God wants nothing to do with me’.

    I hit my bottom in that time of my life and it brought me back to God. My husband didn’t have that strong of a relationship with God and now he does. He is a new man in his faith. I have a stronger relationship with Him today than I ever have. My experience has opened my eyes to so much more and I can see that everyone sins, everyone does things that they shouldn’t but God never gave me permission to judge anyone.

    I would never go seek out a married man. That was never my intention.

    Post # 50
    Member
    1543 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    well.. i dont really know if this counts but i had a LDR with my 1st boyfriend, at first he was with his longtime gf (they were together from like… 7 to 15) all his friends told me how she was a bitch to him and stuff. So i didnt care, but we only made our “relationship” official after he broke up with her.

    We met about a year and a helf later of being together. And 6 months after that, he started dating a girl in his city (i didnt know) so the next 2 years of our relationship he was cheating on me.

    Oh well, i guess i learned my lesson. LOL

    Post # 51
    Member
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I knew. I wasn’t trying to date him and he had already cheated a handful of times before, so I wasn’t too bothered

    Post # 53
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1993

    I was tricked into being the “other woman”. He lied and told me that him and his lady were no longer together. However, I kinda had a feeling I WAS the other woman though.  I should have listened to my gut.  I don’t consider myself a “home-wrecker” though. She cheated on him with his friend, soooo there is not really anything I wrecked.  She still hasn’t found out he cheated and he still hasn’t found out she cheated either.  I think THEY are meant to be together 🙂

    Post # 54
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee

    This was when I was quite young, so it wasn’t really that serious, although of course I was devestated at the time. I met my boyfriend at the time through a website based on a mutual interest. I was 20, he was 18, and we were long distance. He had a female friend who he’d also met through the same website, and she lived a lot closer. She seemed to be very jealous of us. Some point down the line I saw a picture of them on a page dedicated to couples who met through the site. I was pretty outraged and when I confronted him, he couldn’t believe she had done that, trying to make me jealous. I’m naive and believed him, because I couldn’t imagine lying to someone about something like that. I never had any direct contact with her so I don’t know who was the other woman. Probably me. What stung the most was that she was 15 years old.

    I had another person a few years ago that I was interested in but had kept it friendly because he was in a relationship. One night he had another female friend and me over to watch a movie. As the night wore on, the tension rose and I knew where things were headed. I don’t know what happened between those two but he said he was single. I left anyway because it seemed a bit complicated. His girlfriend or ex girlfriend of whatever got into his email and saw his apology to me, but of course she flew off the handle at me and divided a bunch of friends between us.

    Post # 55
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @FLBlonde93:  yeah I was really upset for a while but it all worked out because FH is a much better man for me!

    Post # 56
    Member
    1543 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @FLBlonde93:  i know! when i found out i thought: “oh wow, no surprise here” it did hurt though, but thank god i dodged a bullet.

     

    Post # 57
    Member
    4605 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @FLBlonde93:  I think that’s what it was, but either way, that’s not something you do. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Both.

     

    The first time, I understood me and Fuckface’s “relationship” was more of an FWB thing, though he wanted an open relationship.  I was looking for a very different type of thing back then (at 18), nothing serious and certainly not a relationship.  I’d been burned by a lot of guys in a my teen years and I was about to go off to college anyway.  But I never had any other boyfriends or even love interests, just Fuckface while we were “together.”  One day I decided to creep on his FB page because I was bored, and found out he’d had a girlfriend almost the entire time we were together.  He had never told me.  When you’re in an open relationship, you’re supposed to be open about all of the partners you have.  I broke the deal off and marched myself to the campus health center for an STD test.

     

    The second time was long-distance.  He was in a relationship, but was absolutely miserable, and his gf was basically his meal ticket due to some factors that had cost him his apartment.  The relationship was pretty much over in all but name, because she didn’t seem happy or interested in him either.  But then he announced that he was still planning to marry her, and that pissed me right off because he sure as hell wasn’t acting like he wanted to (he’d had other “other women” than me, but at least I knew the whole time and was okay with it).  I got fed up and left. He had turned into a total asshole anyway.  I’ve forgiven him now, because we were both at really shitty times in our life and I think if we’d been more emotionally stable and secure we would have made very, very different choices.  After a year he did send me a lengthy apology through Facebook and admitted he’d fucked up and totally took advantage of me.  I had a much easier time forgiving him than Fuckface (as you can tell).  

    Post # 61
    Member
    2358 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

     

     

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