Post # 1
I was reading a thread about rehearsal dinners and who gets invited and several people said that officiant should get invited. I’m wondering if this is really obligatory? We don’t know our officiant at all – we met her once and she was nice enough, but not someone I want to hang out with socially. We’re already paying her and her fee includes the rehearsal, so I don’t think the traditional purpose of thanking the rehearsal attendees really applies. And right now we have a fairly small dinner planned – immediately family, wedding party (which includes all of our siblings plus a couple friends) and their significant others, and the flower girl plus her parents, which ends up being 18 total.
What do you guys think?
Post # 3
Nope! We had met with him twice before the ceremony. Only the wedding party and family/friends came to the rehersal dinner.
Post # 4
My husbands uncle married us so he came- but we did invite the other priest as well as the deacon we did our pre-marital counseling with to both the rehearsal and the reception. The deacon and his wife declined but the other priest and my husbands uncle came to both.
I think an invite to the rehearsal would be kind but not expected.
Post # 5
For us, yes, the officiant is my uncle (a Catholic priest) so he will definitely be coming to the rehearsal dinner.
If I didn’t know the officiant personally, then I’d probably extend the invitation but let them decide whether to come or not.
Post # 6
Yes we are inviting the pastor and his wife to our rehearsal dinner and reception. 🙂
I think if I was in your situation, I probably wouldn’t invite her.
Post # 7
We have met our Reverend once. We will be inviting him to the rehearsal dinner but not the wedding reception. For us it was a matter of price.. our reception is $129 a plate… our rehearsal is $35 a plate. Also, he’s running the rehearsal which will only be 30 minutes. It seems rude to me to pay him to come out to the rehearsal for only 30 minutes and not invite him to the meal that everyone there is going to right after.
Post # 8
Yes, but that’s cause she’s my husbands Aunt. 🙂 But if I was just meeting them for the wedding, I wouldnt.
Post # 9
Ours will be invited to the rehearsal dinner and reception. He’s the pastor at the church Fiance grew up at, so his family knows him very well. I don’t know if he will attend the rehearsal dinner because it will be held on a saturday, and they do saturday night services (we’re getting married Sunday).
Post # 10
ours will be invited. but we go to the church i been going since i started dating fiance, fiance has been going for years. so i think it would be nice- plus he is marrying us for free..( we will be gifting an amount to him) his wife is also allowed to come.
in your sitauation i wouldnt invite the officant
Post # 11
We invited our priest but he declined so he could go to the big basketball game between the two Catholic high schools in our city 😛 I don’t blame him, but he missed out on some mean mexican food that night.
Post # 12
We invited our officiant. DH’s close friend was deputized to marry us for our wedding. He and his wife were invited to our rehearsal dinner. 🙂
Post # 13
I believe we are inviting our rabbi to the rehearsal dinner but we know him and have a personal relationship with him and we’re also having a big rehearsal dinner (75-80 people). I could understand not inviting the officiant if you’re not really close with them and/or youre having a more intimate rehearsal dinner.
Post # 14
@Future MrsB: Is it correct etiquette if you know the Officiant, say you attend their church regularly; yes. However, a wedding Officiant you find online or whatever; no you do not. I am often invited to the rehearsal dinner, I always decline. I think it is only for officiants that are your friend, good acquaintance or you attend their church. Your rehearsal dinner is for your family and friends.
The same goes for the reception, you do not need to invite your Officiant to your reception.
Post # 15
If the officiant is more like a vendor, a person you are just paying for their service, then you do not need to include him/her in the rehearsal dinner. However, if you have a relationship with the officiant then it is a nice gesture.
Post # 16
We did, and he and his wife came, but they are good friends with my ILs.