Post # 1
I read PurpleUnicorns thread on alcohol during pregnancy and got to thinking. Some of the replies on the post mentioned how their SO’s were completely against alcohol during pregnancy so mom to be went without. I’m curious as to if these SO’s gave it up too. I’ve never been pregnant but I hope to be in the next few years so I’ve never personally had to deal with this. I’m not a big drinker as it is but I love me some mimosas and a nice cold Heineken Light every now and then so I can imagine that not drinking anything for 9 months may be tough. I don’t know how I’ll handle it (whether I’ll stop all together or have a glass of wine/mimosa every now and then) so that’s a bridge that we’ll cross when we get there. I do know that if Darling Husband is completely against any kind of alcohol consumption during pregnancy (we’ve yet to have this discussion since there’s never been a reason to) that I would expect him to give it up as well. Pregnancy already requires so many sacrifices that Mom has to make for her child so it would be nice if Dad could commiserate a bit.
So I ask, if Dad to be is anti alcohol during pregnancy, do you think that he should give it up too?
ETA: Just so we’re clear, I’m not talking about every single man whose wife or girlfriend has ever been pregnant. Just those who are morally against drinking during pregnancy and won’t allow their partners to do it.
Post # 3
With my Dirty Delete my husband did quit drinking for the most part. Only for special occaissions would he have a couple, but he wouldn’t get wasted or anything.
With this pregnancy, there have ben a lot of events around drinking and we haven’t told anybody yet so, me being the Dirty Delete has been my reason for not drinking. Needless to say he has nedeed a Dirty Delete those times. Once we tell people though, I am sure he will refrain for the most part.
Neither my husband or I would be ok with me drinking any alcohol.
Post # 4
My Darling Husband did not but we rarely drink anyway. Though if we went out or what not he would order a pop/water. I always told him it was okay to have a beer if he wanted one I didn’t care. He was like no you can’t have one so I won’t. The only time he truely drank was at our wedding. Other than that he maybe had 1 or 2 beers (other than the wedding) the whole time I was pregnant.
Post # 5
Definitely not over here. There’s not reason why he shouldn’t be able to enjoy a few beers just b/c I can’t. In fact, I’m his Dirty Delete until September…so I encourage him to let loose a little more often. We also had my younger brother’s wedding a few weeks ago, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell him that he couldn’t drink and celebrate there.
I usually ask him to get me a fun, fruity, non-alcoholic drink at the bar while he’s there if we do go out somewhere. That way, it doesn’t make me feel as left out!
Post # 6
I don’t think SO should give up drinking because I have to. His best friend’s wife is pregnant and throws a huge hissy fit if he has so much as a glass of wine with dinner. I think it’s absolutely rediculous and controlling, but then again I don’t like her much anyway.
Post # 7
Before i was ever with Darling Husband i used to think it would be nice if my future husband would give up things like drinking and smoking when i was pregnant (I used to smoke). I got that idea because i thought it was so sweet when one of my bosses at an old job told me he quit smoking because his girlfriend was pregnant and she had to quit smoking. He was someone who was always out on a smoking break so i know it took a lot for him to do that.
Well, now that i am with Darling Husband and pregnant, i wouldn’t consider asking him to give up drinking for several reasons that have to do with his personality. First of all, he is not morally opposed to me having the occasional glass of wine so if he is not asking me to give it up, then how can i ask him? But even if he requested that I did give it up completely, I still wouldn’t think it necessary for him to do the same thing. It just has to do with the fact that the baby is in my body, not his. So reducing or giving it up serves an actual physical purpose for the mother. Whether the father gives it up or not will have zero effect on the baby’s development.
And second, my Darling Husband is not a big drinker to begin with. He occasionally will have a beer or two in the evening (less than weekly), so it’s not like he is making it hard for me to abstain by constantly drinking in front of me and i don’t even like beer.
FInally, to an extent, he is already drinking less because i am. Normally we would drink together. Like on our anniversry getaway, we each had one drink because we had 2 free drink vouchers, but normally we would have also bought a bottle of wine to drink in our hotel room and get tipsy together. So when i could no longer do that, he had no interest in getting tipsy by himself. So by that default, he has also reduced his drinking. He also never goes out drinking/partying with a bunch of guys, so that’s nothing he would even have to give up or not.
Post # 8
I’m not pregnant, and have never been, but I’m sure my Darling Husband will expect me not to drink during pregnancy (I wouldn’t want to anyways), but I would never expect him to give up drinking while I was pregnant.
I’m a handful when I’m not pregnant, the poor guy is going to need a drink ever so often to deal with a pregnant me. I just don’t see the point of both of us having to abstain. I would be abstaining because of health concerns for my unborn child…why shold he have to miss out as well?
Post # 9
I’m not PG but YA RIGHT. He’s already talking about how awesome it’ll be to have a designated driver for 9 months PLUS Boyfriend or Best Friend time so likely a year and a half to two years total (MAN.. that sounds so long when you think about it that way). It’s fine with me, I wouldn’t ask him to give it up for me as long as he doesn’t rub it in my face too much or expect me to stay up/out late when I’m tired just to drive him.
Post # 10
@MrsSawyer: that’s funny, i keep telling Darling Husband that i can be his designated driver but he seems resistant to it for some reason. He has been complaining since we moved last year that he wishes there was a little bar or pub we could walk to, so we can have a few drinks once in a while and not have to drive home. I told him this summer i can drive the 10 minutes it takes to get to the pubs in our area and he can have a few drinks and i don’t mind! I think i will have to be the one to initiate it though because i don’t think he ever will!
Post # 11
I doubt Darling Husband would quit drinking and I wouldn’t want or expect him to. He isn’t sharing a blood supply with a baby so there is, IMO, no reason for him to. I don’t need him to “suffer” along side me.
Post # 12
He has the occasional beer and I don’t think he’d be ok with me drinking during pregnancy. But the funny thing is we never talked about it! I guess it was just a given that I wouldn’t drink on both our parts. I actually don’t mind him having a beer once in awhile (think 4-5 over the course of 9 months is what he’s had) because I like the smell 🙂 Just like I don’t mind him bringing tuna sandwiches to work or if he wanted to go on a rollercoaster. He goes to work every day, I get to be home with our daughter. He does 90% of the cooking for me lately. He makes late night ice cream runs. It all balances itself out nicely, but I think the key is he doesn’t DICTATE my pregnancy rules to me and trusts me to make the best decisions since I’m the one going through it. If he was the Pregnancy Police we’d be having some issues for sure.
If Darling Husband was a partier and went out multiple times a week to drink and whatever else and expected me to sit on a lily pad knitting? Hell no. I would not be ok with that at all.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t expect the husband to give up drinking. I also wouldn’t expect him to experience a pain similar to childbirth 😛 Oh the joys of being a woman!
Post # 14
@MrsSawyer: Ll. We have only had one issue this go around were Darling Husband drank a fair amount at a famil event. I had tol him that I was really not feeling well and was close to being ready to go. Needless to say he sat and drank (so he was little help to me with the kids) and we were there FOREVER. I could have killed him when I had to drive home late and felt like puking the hour plus drive. I think he felt pretty bad the next day and since then he hasn’t really drank more than a couple so we can still use the Dirty Delete excuse.
P.S- You can always pump and dump once you are BFing:)
Post # 15
I’m pregnant and am 100% against drinking while I am pregnant. Darling Husband know this and I have also shared with him the reasons why and read some articles to him. So I guess you could say he is against me drinking and is a little taken back when he sees a pregnant women drinking. I have never told Darling Husband to not drink, but see that his alcohol intake is next to none now. But mainly because he used to enjoy a drink with me so now he’d be drinking by himself. However when he does go out with the guys he’ll have a few beers but it’s not as often as it used to be.
If a man was against their partner drinking during pregnancy, it is due to the effect on the baby. So if he were to drink there is no way it could affect the baby. So I couldn’t see why he should stop drinking as well. So everyone who doesn’t think a pregnant woman should drink, should stop drinking?
Post # 16
I’ve heard of women demanding this and I think it is childish. If I had the flu would I not let my Fiance eat since I can’t? Of course not. Just because I might be growing a human doesn’t mean life can’t continue as normally as possible for us.