(Closed) Spinoff- do prefer guy friends or lady friends

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you prefer guy friends or lady friends

    Guy/male friends

    Female/lady friends

    Both

  • Post # 17
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I dont think of friends in terms of what sex they are. 

    I have both and get on with them for different reasons thta often has very little to do with what ‘special parts’ they have

    Post # 18
    Member
    510 posts
    Busy bee

    It has nothing to do with the gender to me, and all about the individual. If a person has a habit of only making friends with catty women, maybe they are better off with guy friends, but they shouldn’t turn that into a judgment call on the gender as a whole.

    I chose both.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    I work in Finance so am surrounded by guys.  I’d like more female friends, and I do have a select group of awesome females, but women can be very catty and competetive, I just can’t stand that.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I first have to start off by saying that I don’t have many friends at all. I’m not the type of person who considers everyone I talk to on a weekly basis or hang out with to be a friend. That being said, I have about ten friends that I have had since elementary school, and I’d say 8/10 of them are women. In general, though, when I am getting to know new people I tend to gravitate towrads talking to men just because, as PPs have said, women can be catty. I also tend to notice that men are a little bit easier to talk to. I’ve come across more women who are just short in conversation and you never have a chance to get to know them for some reason. If I am in a new class at the beginning of a semester I will definitely talk to more guys throughout that whole semester than girls. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @Ap2010  Girls. I am friends with FI’s guy friends but I don’t often find males understand or relate to things that I care about. They’re good for like watching tv with but I have Fiance for guy stuff. I am suspicious of girls who only have guy friends or say they don’t have female friends because “girls don’t like” them and stuff like that.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

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    @SummerOfLove  +1.  Experience has shown me that lines like, “I just get along better with guys” and “girls have too much drama/are too shallow/are too petty” should be flagged for futher review in my mental filing cabinet if I’m dealing with someone who is in high school or only a couple of years removed (I’m willing to cut young women who were bullied by other young women in school some slack) and should usually be treated as a red flag when dealing with women in the late 20s or older. 

    I know that when I myself–shamefully–would say things like “women are so competitive,” it was the ultimate in projection.  Because of my unhealthy self-conception and my unhealthy understanding of what made me valued, I was the one who saw other women as competition.  I am thankful that I have grown since that very embarrassing time; I am not proud of the fact that I once had that line of thought. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I don’t think it’s fair to make a sweeping judgment that females are catty or judgmental and thus hard to be friends with. Regardless of gender, some people just suck. 

    I make it a habit to avoid people who treat others poorly and I surround myself with people who make me happy. Of my three closest friends, two are female and one is male which is a pretty fair depiction of my friend ratio. It’s a pretty even mix between guy and girl friends. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    1349 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2019

    I have both guy and girl friends, but really what matters to me is that we can get along and have at least a few similar interests. I’ve had more guy friends at one point and more girl friends at one point, but it all depended on the environment. Such as where I work now and where I went to college, women vastly outnumber the men, so statistically I would have more friends that are women.

    I think either gender can be catty and/or competitive, so I don’t feel that having one ‘kind’ of friends is necessarily better than the other.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee

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    @MarriedToMyWork  +1

    I’m a girl’s girl. I’ve heard tons of women proclaim to prefer guys for friends and I’m always tempted to give the side eye. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a grown woman say it, but in high school and college it was a prevalent mentality.

    Post # 26
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

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    @LeeLee33  +1

    I hate when people (especially other women) say “all women are catty, all women are bitches.” No, they’re not. Pick nice people to be friends with (regardless of gender) and you won’t have any problems.

    My three best friends are all girls. I have close male friends too, but the friendships are definitely different. There are just some things you can’t talk about with guys the way you can with girls.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1998 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I voted “both”. I can honestly say that while I have many acquaintances I only have a few tried and true friends, most of which I’ve known for at least 10 years, and they are of both genders. It’s not about the gender, really, it’s about the person. Yes, women can be horrible backstabbing bitches but so can men, in my experience. It was a trial and error process but while a few years ago I could have sworn guys made better friends I’ve since learned better! 

    Post # 29
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

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    @SummerOfLove  

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    @SummerOfLove  

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    @SummerOfLove  

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    @SummerOfLove  

    i agree with all of this. I also wonder when hetero women say they have more male friends than female or they only have male friends, are they actually her friends or are they her husband/partner’s friend? Because I have definitely experienced feeling like I am friends with SO’s friends but in reality they are his friends first and foremost. Got to remember that. If you you break up, they are going to side with him. Like, I get on well with SO’s friends and in a way they are my friends but at the end of the day, they’re his. 

    And women are not inherently bitchy. Choose the personality; not the gender. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Girls. I tend to feel really uncomfortable/weird around guys I dont know, so its hard for me to get past that and become friends with them.

    Post # 31
    Member
    4655 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    The kind of people I like hanging out with don’t seem to be reliably one or the other, though as for who I actually talk and hang out with most, the numbers have skewed slightly female recently. 

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