(Closed) *SPINOFF* Do you agree with/disagree with tipping vendors

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you still tip if it wasn't already etiquette?
    I wouldn't tip if it wasn't already etiquette : (20 votes)
    16 %
    I would still, they worked damned hard for me! : (16 votes)
    13 %
    Not going to even if it IS etiquette : (22 votes)
    18 %
    I will, but probably less than 20% : (9 votes)
    7 %
    It depends on the vendor and my service, really : (57 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 3
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    none of those options gave me a chance to vote. There is to many variables to consider.

    I tip where called for. Where called for depends drastically. I tip huge 30% if deserving. I will burn you with a tip if you’re not deserving despite ettiquette. To me “it depends” is my answer, so I didn’t vote.

    Post # 4
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I would still tip as long as I thought they did a great job. I dont believe tips should just be automatic…they are extra and should be earned. My Fiance and I disagree about this because he always gives a 15% tip no matter what and I refuse to to tip for poor service.

    Post # 5
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    I did not tip independent business owner providers: photographer, florist, wedding planner, and such. My venue included a tip for the servers, that is fine by me, they should be tipped as most servers don’t earn a lot and a tip is part of their income. But why would I tip my photographer 20%? She named her price for a service, I pay it and expect the service. I don’t feel I need to tip her another 20% for it, etiquette or not!

    Post # 7
    3670 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @vmec: I agree with this.  Just as when I go out to eat, I tip depending on the level of service I received.  If I didn’t receive good service, I may tip a little but not nearly as much as if someone worked extremely hard while still being able to be friendly and wonderful.  


    Edit:  I will add I did not tip my photographer as she owns her own business but I did make sure she was well fed, treated very well, and received a thank you card. 

    Post # 8
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I agree, I don’t think any of those answers fit how I feel.

    I think that the wedding industry practically demanding and expecting a tip for each vendor is ridiculous. My wedding planner has it written into our budget…I would say that is pretty much expected. A tip should be based on performance and I cannot for the life of me understand why a vendor can expect a tip if they don’t perform well. The same goes for table service or any other hospitality industry.

    I have done my time in several hospitality positions and I felt the same way then as I do now. If you do your job well you deserve to be well compensated and vice versa…it should never be expected.

    Post # 9
    1249 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    No… they told me how much they want for the job they are doing, and that’s how much we agreed upon.  If someone goes above and beyond extraordinarily, then I will send a tip after the wedding with a thank you card. 

    An exception to this is the minister, who does not have a fee.  I am giving him $40.

    Post # 11
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    @rubyred605: I agree that if someone did something above and beyond, that is deserving of a thank you and a tip.

    Post # 12
    14492 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Most of our vendors were not even tipable, and I am a full believer in tipping when appropriate.  We went with a caterer that did not accept tips, as great as the food was they deserved it, but they couldn’t accept it.  Since they were corporate, I sent a nice letter to her boss, the corporate office, and also sent them a copy of the post I wrote here.

    Post # 13
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I only plan on tipping those who do a really great job and it probably won’t be 20% because that’s a lot of money. My vendors are aware that my fiance and I are on a tight budget, so I don’t think they expect a huge tip on top of their payment. I’m sure they would appreciate it, but it’s not realistic for every bride. 

    Post # 15
    2649 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Allways check to see where the included gratuity is going for your servers. I know at the place I work the servers get shafted really bad. There is a 20% gratuity added, the house gets 18 and the servers get 2% SPLIT by the number of workers.  I’m in the kitchen and i helped serve for a 20,000$ new years event. There were a bunch of servers… my tip was 2.00$  I was THRILLED let me tell you.

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