Spinoff? Do you and your friends ever fight?

posted 3 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

No. Maybe when I was younger I’d have “falling outs” with friends in high school or college era. But, I (and DH) are mid 30’s-40’s now, I don’t fight with friends anymore. If a friend pisses me off or makes a pattern of behavior I don’t like, I just distance myself from them and take a step back from the friendship.

Post # 3
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I became friends with one friend when I was 11, she fell out with me when we were about 15. I can’t really remembering we fell out but it was just teenage things. We made up about 6 months after and are very close now.

There are 3 of us in that friend group and I haven’t fallen out with the other one but we’re not as close as we were and I’d say 90% of the time we’re on different pages. At the heart of it, we’ve grown apart, which happens. I’ve been friends her for so long, she knows my mum and is integrated in my family. My mum asks about her all the time. I’m godmother to her son. We’ve grown apart but it’s hard to naturally let the distance grow when you’re lives are tied together. I don’t think we’ll have a big argument but sometimes it’s the easiest way to break the connections when you’ve grown apart but can’t otherwise get a clean break.

Post # 4
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

I think it may depend on age. When I was in my teens and early twenties I would have fights with friends. It’s a time where we are all growing together and emotions are high, hormones are all over the place, etc. 

As an 25+ aged I don’t think I’ve ever had a fight with any friends. Like we do not yell at each other say nasty things to each other. Usually when there’s tension between people in the friend group, the result is more subtle…two people may stop talking for a while or not invite the other to events, there amy be some gossiping or venting to other friends, etc. 

Post # 5
Member
3900 posts
Honey bee

Yep.  I’ve been in fights with my friends. 

We have known each other since we were 4 years old, so have been friends for 35 years.  We are more like sisters.  We have new life experiences that have changed our views in certain ways and sometimes we clash.  

We will fight and then talk it through and everything goes back to normal.  

Post # 6
Member
896 posts
Busy bee

Not really, no. But at the moment I am living with two of my friends (who are married to each other) because of covid (and have for five months) and are currently considering buying a house together. So we have some tense conversations in the “challenges of living together vein” that don’t track my normal friendship patterns. 

Post # 7
Member
4286 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had a falling out with my high school best friend, but that was more of a “straw that broke the camel’s back” on a pattern of behaviour, and ultimately was the end of the friendship.

Other than that, if someone pisses me off I usually just tell them. Or if I don’t consider them close and it’s a pattern I just let it fade. I’m too old to be fighting with people or wasting my time on assholes.

Post # 8
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t really fight with friends. I hate confrontation. Even if people have wronged me, I usually don’t say anything I just let the relationship drift apart and I spend less time talking to them or hanging out. I won’t initiate plans or conversations.

To clarify, I don’t mean over minor things, but rather when I really feel betrayed in a way that probably might have triggered a fight when I was younger. I just feel like at this point, I don’t need to have a TON of friends, I’d rather just have a couple very close friendships that are built on mutual respect. Or in other words, I don’t feel like I need to force someone to be my friend, or treat me in a particular way.

Maybe its also easier to take this position because my friends are kind of random (some from HS, some from college, some from the different job’s I’ve has since college) and they don’t know each other/aren’t mutual friends. If we were a group that always hung out together it would probably be harder to just drift apart without ruining the other associated friendships and then maybe we’d have to really talk it out. 

Post # 9
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

One of my best friends from childhood and I mostly drifted apart, but there was a really sticky moment where the end of our friendship was accelerated. She called to tell me about her pregnancy with her first child, and to keep an eye out in the mail for the reveal party. Between the call and the party, she had a change of heart and decided we’d grown too much apart, but never communicated that to me. So, I found out about the party on Facebook and knew it was an intentional snub. I reached out to ask her if there was a problem we could resolve, and I would be happy to talk to her about it. No response. So I let that friendship die. It hurt a bit, but it wasn’t worth chasing. 

Otherwise, all of my adult friendships have ebbed and flowed, or ended, naturally and without fighting. If I’m annoyed with my close friends, I can easily take some distance for a while to get over it, or if it warrants it, I’ll bring it up to them calmly before things escalate. I’ve found that works best. Space can be a good thing. 

Post # 10
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

I don’t have arguments with friends anymore. If someone pisses me off that much then they’re honestly not worth the time because I’m hard to anger. 

Post # 11
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

I don’t think I’ve ever had a fight with a friend. I’ve had disagreements, for sure, but to me the word “fight” means yelling, name calling, hateful words, that kind of thing. One of my best friends is a guy I’ve known since elementary school. I care about him a lot and we’re still close (I was the “best man” at his wedding!), but we’ve definitely grown in different directions over the years, and nowadays our differences in political opinions tend to cause disagreements. When that happens we usually just step away and move on. Neither one of us sees the need to stay on a topic that upsets us both. 

My best friend from college and I are also super close, and she’s like a second sister to me. She’s struggled with some mental health issues over the years, mainly OCD and depression, and being her best friend and also living with her for a few years while she was working though all of that could sometimes be hard on both of us. Even then, we would get into disagreements but not fights. We would each go to our own space and calm down, and then talk it out later.

Post # 12
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

No, I really can’t say we do! We might disagree on something and have a tense or awkward moment, but it passes really quickly (and even that I can’t recall any particular instant). I’m not someone who is comfortable with confrontation, so I definitely surround myself with people who are kind and nonabrasive.

Post # 13
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

I never fight with my friends. I have a friend who struggles with a mental health issue that makes her lash out and be aggressive at times and she has started to initiate arguments with me and has even yelled at me, but I backaway instead of engaging. Otherwise, nothing like that has ever happened between me and any of my friends.

Post # 14
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
@mpritchtobe1984:  Not as an adult. 

Post # 15
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No, I don’t fight with my friends. We disagree respectfully. If someone is hurt we talk through those feelings… and that happens very, very rarely if ever.

I have an acquaintence who does fight with her friends. I met her through a friend of mine (this friend and the acquaintence are very close). My friend has definitely told me that she and this girl have had fights. She seems like a more dramatic person in general. But she is also someone who tries to be best friends with everyone.

I’d say I’m more selective with who my friends are. Like I said, I’m willing to talk things through with friends, but if someone does something that crosses a certain line I will step away from that friendship. I like reading/hearing about or watching drama… not living it! 🤣🤣🤣

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