(Closed) SPINOFF: Do you and your partner sleep at home together each night?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Do you and your partner always sleep at home together?
    Yes, of course, and I feel that's how it should be : (314 votes)
    62 %
    No, sometimes we spend the night separately with our own friends and family : (85 votes)
    17 %
    No way!! We often spend the night separately with our own friends and family : (3 votes)
    1 %
    We spend nights apart for other reasons, i.e. work or an LDR : (107 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 77
    1782 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Unless he is at deer camp with family – then yes we are together every night.

    Post # 78
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @MrsPanda99:  I also deal with snoring….from my CAT! Yes…my kitty snores. It’s very quiet, but it’s definitely a snore. She likes to snuggle between our heads and sleep for about 20 minutes when we go to bed. Then she has to get up and sleep somewhere else (because that’s important).

    I don’t think any of the options fit me quite right. We spend probably 98% of our nights together. The only times we don’t are if Fiance is traveling for work or I have gone to visit a friend for a weekend–like last year I flew out to see my best friend in Utah. Obviously I couldn’t sleep with Fiance while we were in different states. We don’t just go spend a night at a friend’s house, it’s only if we had to travel long distance to get there, but it doesn’t happen often.

    Another weird situation–both our parents live in the same hometown, so when we go home for a weekend, I’ll sleep at my mom’s house and he’ll sleep at his parents’ house. Part of this is because his mom got weird about us both sleeping in the same room at his house one time. This will stop once we’re married though. We will just pick a house to sleep at (probably alternate). You’d think having our parents in the same town would be easier, but it actually makes things more complicated. Fortunately we don’t spend weekends there much outside of holidays.

    Post # 79
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    sometimes Darling Husband will crash at a friends house if drinking (if im with him sometimes i will too…but i dont like late nights now im pregnant)/ sometimes hell go to his parents for a weekend without me…soemtimes ill go to england for a few weeks without him

    so nope, dont always sleep at home together every night

    Post # 80
    630 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve gone to visit my mom a few states away alone before due to schedules, but other than that we stay everywhere together.  I don’t sleep over at anyone else’s house and he doesn’t either.

    Though, if he ever did have a guys night out where he drank and shouldn’t drive and I was already asleep – I’d expect him to stay!

    Post # 81
    2564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    In two years the only time we haven’t is when we were LD.

    Post # 82
    2393 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted “yes” that we always sleep together, because of the way the poll was worded. The “no” options referred to sleeping over occasionally with “family and friends,” and that’s the area I take issue with.

    I have slept over a few times with family members when I went to visit them for brief trips out of state. I would have no problem if Darling Husband did the same, but he doesn’t need to because his family is all nearby.

    The issue I had with the drunken sleepovers in the other post was that this guy was getting roaring drunk and wanting to spend the night with his buddies, passed out or doing God knows what. I’m sorry, but I think that sounds like the type of behavior you would find in college. Not exactly the type of behavior that would make me feel proud to call him my fiance. 

    Post # 83
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If there’s a good reason like a business trip or weekend trip or something then we’ll sleep apart but generally we are together.

    Post # 84
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Drunken “I’m not comin home” sleepovers wouldn’t fly with me.  Afterall we aren’t teenagers any more.

    We are adults, and as such it is EXPECTED that we will have worked out our plans / arrangements with each other AHEAD OF TIME

    So ya, for the most part Mr TTR and I sleep together every night

    The 2 exceptions I can think of are:

    Business Trips and the occasional “Time Away with the Gang” that both of us enjoy.  We both have times during the year when we have getaways with our friends… myself a couple of Girls Only Weekends, and he a week long Golf Trip with the Guys.

    Our getaways with friends are very important to us… because it keeps us connected to longtime / lifelong friends who we value dearly.  It gives us the chance to be individuals not just part of a couple.

    The BONUS for whenever is apart, is we come home very happy to be with each other, and of course sleep in our own bed.

    Lol, you can travel the world, and see many great places and things… but there is something to be said for the first night home in your own bed !!

    TRAVELLING TIP – Take the time to put Clean Crisp Sheets on your Bed BEFORE you go on Vacation… it is wonderful to come home to.

    — — —

    NOTE – I didn’t see the other topic.

    AND I DID NOT VOTE… as obviously my answer is all over the map here in regards to your choices.

    YES… A couple should be respectful to the relationship they share, and not be RANDOMLY sleeping apart cause it becomes “convenient” to do so.Undecided *Rolls Eyes*

    YES… It is ok to be seperate at times for definite PRE-ARRANGED reasons… such as Work, Family or Friends.


    Post # 85
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    For the most part we sleep together, but there are a lot (and I mean A LOT) of nights we aren’t together:

    I often go out with friends (guys and girls) and will crash with one of them (totally innocent).

    He often goes out with friends (guys and girls) and will crash with one of them (totally innocent).

    Fun trips without eachother (totally innocent).

    Work trips, parties only one of us can make, camping trips with friends, whatever… so many opportunities to not sleep with eachother.  🙂

    We aren’t going to pass up an awesome time/fun opportunity because the other can’t go. That, to us, is silly.

    Just because we choose to spend time with other friends and don’t sleep together every night doesn’t mean with are less in love with eachother than couples who spend every night together. We are both madly in love and love the quality time with spend with each other. 



    Post # 86
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My best friend lives in a different city so often I go and spend the weekend with her, and we get drunk, I act as her ‘wing woman’ and then we crash at hers with a chick flick. I also occasionaly have girly sleepovers either at mine or at a friends. No way would my Fiance want to be with me even if he was allowed!

    If he wants a night with his friends then I am happy to pick him up or have him stay at a friends house. It doesn’t matter either way.

    I think it is important for us to spend time with other people now and again as we both need our own space from time to time. Just because we are a couple doesn’t mean we have to completely lose our independance. Plus I would hate for us to become those couples who stop doing things with their friends because they only have time for each other. That just isn’t us.

    We don’t have children and I know it will change when we do but I still can’t imagine being upset if Fiance decided to go out with friends. I trust him not to take the mick with it.

    However, if one of us was out every night or never spent a weekend at home having quality time as a couple I would get upset. I think it is important to maintain the right balance.




    Post # 87
    679 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015


    My husband is a light sleeper and I am a night owl. When I come to bed later than my hubby, he always wakes up. I also snore very loud so sometimes I sleep in the spare bedroom.

    Post # 88
    9758 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

    @MrsPanda99:  We have opposite schedules so he usually comes to bed around 6 am and I wake up for work at 7 am… so we occupy the same bed (on week nights) for about 1 hour. On the weekends we definitely always spend them together, whether at home or away. One Monday out the month he has “Manday Monday” (LOL) with the guys from his hometown, which is about an hour and half away, but close to his work – so he stays out there for the night when they are drinking. I don’t mind at all, I like that he’s still friends with his friends from middle school/high school.

    Post # 89
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

     Always home, always together.  This sleepover business does not sound the least bit appealing.  Unless we’re going on vacation, our bed beats out a friend’s floor, couch, or guest bed.

    Post # 90
    4655 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We nearly always sleep together at home. The only time we are ever separated is on the rare instance that either one of us must travel for some official reason and the other doesn’t have the free time to go along (happened twice ever) or one of us is visiting with friends or family and wants or needs to stay the night. (Got too drunk to get home, trains have stopped, whatever.) If that happens, it’s no biggie, but it’s only been a few times ever. If it became frequent I think we would have an issue. 

    @This Time Round:  I totally do that traveling thing. In fact before our trip back to the USA this summer for two weeks, I SCOURED the house until it was sparkly, got rid of all garbage, tidied everything, did all the sheets and towels and pillows in the laundry, and redressed the bed. I knew I’d be wrecked when I got back and it would be so much more relaxing to come home to everything clean… (it was!)

    Post # 91
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I definitely spend nights away from home every now and then…when one of my friends has a birthday or bachelorette, or the girls just want to go out, I will spend the night at their house, b./c we all usually meet there and then go out and come back to hang out some more. I don’t have to be drunk to not come home, but yeah, usually I have had a few, and Fiance and I are pretty strict about driving after more than one drink. 

    But this happens MAYBE once every 2 months? My friends go out and hang out more than that, but I don’t usually want to spend the money, so I stay home. I actually prefer that Fiance and I have that time apart every now and then. Fiance gets 2 nights every week where his friends/band members come over to our house to practice, and they drink and hang out for hours without me, so me going out a handful of times of year and not coming home is no big deal to us.

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